Worthlessness – Abuse Produces it

Deu 7:6 “For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.

My friend Kelly Orr tells about how the Lord opened her eyes one day to show her that the abuse she was suffering made her consider herself worth less than $1.99. You can read her story in her book You Know Me. She says that through economic abuse (as just one tactic her abuser used) she had slowly been robbed of all control of the finances so that she could not even buy a $1.99 peanut buster parfait at Dairy Queen. Driving by the DQ one day, she saw the $1.99 sign and the realization swept over her that she had come to regard herself as worthless.

“You are nothing. You have no value. You are only here to serve me. You will do as I say or else.” A slave in other words. This is what abuse tells its victim and this is what the victim comes to believe and feel. This is cruelty beyone words.

These things are all lies of course. The Bible tells us quite the opposite. God’s children are the apple of His eye. He is the defender of the defenseless. He hates the abuser. His children are saints, holy ones, heirs whom He loves and has loved before the foundation of the world. This is truth. But the enemy uses his wicked lies to rob us of any sense of worth. He is cunning and works to strip us of all value. Self esteem of course is often the subject of much false teaching, but understood biblically, self-esteem is really a truth. God’s people have value because He loves us. Because He has adopted us and given us His name. We are ascended with Christ, made new creations, and we will judge angels!

In Christ, we have worth. We are valuable in God’s sight. Satan hates this and so do his servants.

I wonder – how many of you have been made to believe – and even emotionally feel – like Kelly did, that you are worthless? That you aren’t even worth $1.99? The thing is a lie. A wicked lie that is intended to enslave. It is a lie we can be set free from:

Joh 8:31-32 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, (32) and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

More on Revilers I Have Known

Mat 5:11-12 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. (12) Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Reviler is the biblical word for an abuser. Other words are used in Scripture to describe the evil that abusers do, but this title “reviler” gets to the heart of it. You see that little root in the word – “vil” – which reminds us of related terms like “villain,” or “villify” or, hmmm…. “vile.” A reviler is vile. Anyway, what a reviler does is to make the innocent be the villain. And they do this by accusing. Revilers are accusers and that evil is part of the very nature of the devil himself:

Rev 12:10 And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.

I have known revilers and so have most all of you. The ones I have known are those who parade as Christians. They were church members and most often they put themselves off as the most pious and holy saints to be found anywhere.

Reviling is in the reviler’s nature. It proceeds from the devilish heart that defines who they are. They don’t have to really even plan the reviling attack – it just spews out of their mouth from their heart. The attack comes as we say “out of the blue.” Things can be going along quite pleasantly – some dinner or other church event, some gathering of friends – and then here comes the arrow. Sometimes in secret, sometimes in front of everyone.

  • I remember when you said I was to blame
  • You had no right to spend that money
  • I think you sinned when you told Jack to stop being mean to his wife
  • I know why you are taking that college class
  • I know why you bought that car
  • You are a very hard person to talk to
  • You didn’t come and visit me when I was sick

And on and on and on the list could go. Every single one of these statements is used by the reviler to accuse. To blame. To guilt and to attack.

Think about what this business of reviling requires. Most of us would be very hesitant to say such a thing, even if it were true. We season our speech. Of course the abuser counts on this and uses our hesitancy against us, knowing that we most often won’t expose his evil by speaking of it. But the reviler enjoys reviling. It gives him a rush of power and he loves it. He loves to see the hurt that his words inflict. He assaults with his speech and he loves to launch those arrows.

This is why the Lord says that a reviler will never see the kingdom of God. Revilers are going to hell along with their father the devil. Perhaps in the lake of fire for all eternity they will be reviling one another and trying to put the blame anywhere but upon themselves.

Don’t try to fix a reviler. You will only find grief for yourself and your efforts to “help” will be regarded by him as a weak spot for him to reviler you further.

Additional Reading:

Another Look at the Abuser as Reviler