Tag: helping victims

If the Victim had Just Kept Quiet, All Would be Well….?

On By Jeff CrippenIn Supporting Victims12 Comments

Scott Allen Johnson wrote the first book that I ever read about abusers (domestic and/or sexual). It opened my eyes to what had been happening to me as a pastor for over 20 years at the hands of power and control seekers, spiritual abusers, all of whom used their wicked devices to discourage me and destroy my ministry. All of course were wearing pious, holy disguises and had everyone duped. I am convinced that the Lord put this book in my hands at just the right time, and the lights went on. Johnson was writing about the wicked people who I had been attacked by for years and now I understood the nature of this evil.

Look at this paragraph from Johnson’s book. He is writing here about the victim of sexual abuse by the victim’s father, but I am sure that you will all see that this scenario is exactly the same when a victim of domestic abuse of any kind blows the whistle:

Continue reading “If the Victim had Just Kept Quiet, All Would be Well….?” →

“He has Really Changed – You Need to go Talk to Him”

On By Jeff CrippenIn counseling19 Comments

Romans 8:16  The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,

I know what it feels like. To have someone come up to you and tell you how much your abuser has changed for the good. After years of evil treatment at his hands, you finally were able to get away and start healing. But now, along comes some “well-meaning” person who has recently communicated with him and they just have to tell you that he is a changed person.

Now, they don’t have to complete the sentence. They have already said enough to let you know why they are telling you this. They think that you need to go see for yourself. No, they think that you need to forgive and forget now that the devil you knew is transformed into an angel.

Are these kind of people thinking that they are helping? I suppose in some cases. But the fact is that when someone does this to you, do you go away feeling encouraged? No! You feel triggered and re-traumatized. The thing is very DIS-couraging. People can be so, so, stupid, can’t they?

Continue reading ““He has Really Changed – You Need to go Talk to Him”” →

More Thoughts on the Error of Dealing With Evil by Appeasement

On By Jeff CrippenIn Churches/Church Response6 Comments

Isa 1:16-17  Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil,  (17)  learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.

Evildoers target the defenseless. They look for the weak and helpless. This is why the Lord commands us to bring justice to the fatherless and to plead the widow’s cause – because they are the ones typically targeted by the wicked.

It has always been true and it is true in our day. Think for example of the kinds of targets these demonic mass shooters select: schools, churches, and other places where there are lots of people who are unarmed or in some way unable to defend themselves against the attacker.

Churches are often and even typically blind to the real nature and existence of evil. That sounds like an incredible statement, but it is true and if you have been the target of a domestic abuser for instance, you found this out very quickly when you went to your pastor for help. Myths and fictions are fabricated in the pulpit and in the literature and the people are convinced that these things are “Bible truth.”

We are told and we like to tell ourselves that if we just “love” the evil man enough, if we willingly suffer under his assaults as sacrificial victims, if we issue him adequate hugs, he will put down his gun, fall to his knees in prayer, and believe in Jesus. That is the very thing that domestic abuse victims are so often told by their churches and if they refuse, they are marked as unfaithful Christians and put out of the church. It’s true. I am not overstating the case. These things are examples of the failed policy of appeasement. Just give the devil what he wants and he will leave you alone.

Continue reading “More Thoughts on the Error of Dealing With Evil by Appeasement” →