Hated Without a Cause

Psalms 69:4 ESV  More in number than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause; mighty are those who would destroy me, those who attack me with lies. What I did not steal must I now restore?

Psalms 109:2-5 ESV  For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues.  (3)  They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause.  (4)  In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer.  (5)  So they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love.

I maintain that at the root of an abuser’s hatred for his/her Christian spouse is hatred for Christ. One of the most confusing things about domestic abuse – hating one’s own flesh – is, “why?” What is the reason he hates her so? What is the motive for all this evil?

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Want to Know What Your Abuser is Thinking?

Micah 2:1-2  Woe to those who devise wickedness and work evil on their beds! When the morning dawns, they perform it, because it is in the power of their hand.  (2)  They covet fields and seize them, and houses, and take them away; they oppress a man and his house, a man and his inheritance.

One of the most difficult obstacles standing in the way of a “normal” person (that’s you) coming to understand just who an abuser is in essence is coming to the realization of the thoroughness of these wicked ones. In part this is because we do not think like the abuser does, but our default setting in this regard is to believe that abusers DO think like we do. Wrong. The scripture quoted above from Micah goes a long way in helping us cross this hurdle.

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**A Surprising Ally of the Abuser

Acts 5:1-2  But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property,  (2)  and with his wife’s knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

We don’t know much about Ananias. Certainly we cannot say if he was a sociopath or the typical kind of abuser that we deal with. We do know that his sin was great and that he was a liar and hypocrite. But what I want us to consider here is his wife, Sapphira. “with his wife’s knowledge….”. 

Acts 5:8-9  And Peter said to her, “Tell me whether you sold the land for so much.” And she said, “Yes, for so much.”  (9)  But Peter said to her, “How is it that you have agreed together to test the Spirit of the Lord? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out.”

Over the years on numerous occassions, I have had to deal with wives who chose to take part in their husband’s evil. I think that in some of those cases the husband was an abuser, but in all of these situations I am thinking of, the wife chose to join with her wicked husband in his sin. 

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