Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Sugar and Spice but Nothing Nice

Pro 5:3-4 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech; (4) But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword.

Solomon is specifically warning his son here about the danger of the wicked woman, but I want to make a bit different application of these verses which, I trust, is not a misuse of the text. Specifically, I want to talk to you about another kind of woman who, I suspect, many of you have been damaged by.

In many if not most local churches, and certainly in the Christian “celebrity” circles, you will meet a woman (apply this to men also, but I am saving that for a separate post) who appears to be the epitome of godliness. She is the head of the women’s ministry. She teaches a Bible study. In larger churches she may even be on the speaking circuit or an author of books about the Godly woman. Or she may just be a “pillar” in her church to whom others looks as someone to emulate. She will tell you how to raise your children. She expounds on her “verse-for-the-day.” She is the source of biblical wisdom for struggling souls.

Have you met her? I imagine most of you have.

But so often the entire thing is a facade. A disguise. A deceptive show by a narcissist meant to gain praise and acclaim. The disguise covers up what she really is. Her words drip honey. He speech is smoother than oil. But in reality she is bitter as wormwood and her words, proceeding from her evil heart, are a sharp, cutting, reviling sword.

And if you disagree with her or confront her with error, that sword is going to come out. She is a bully. A user of others. Her religion is a lie. For all of her Bible talk, for all of her words about Jesus, He does not know her and she does not know Him. Religion and the church are simply her chosen vehicle for self-glory and for exercising power and control over others.

I would be quite interested in hearing some of you stories of encounters you have had with – what shall we name her? Mrs. Wormwood? Yes, let’s go with that title.

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5 Comments

  1. Martha Tonges

    I know Mrs Wormwood. She was pastor’s wife. When there twelve year old son sexually molested our eight year old daughter, They rushed to the house . Sat on the living room sofa And told us that they were the anointed ones.And this is how you handle the situation in the church. You do not go to the world. Do not go to the police. You are required to forgive. All you can do is pray. We were bound to silence. As young ignorant christians we believed the deception. My husband had been desperate to get on the worship team that she was head of and so instantly forgave. He threw his daughter into the fires of Molech And sold his soul to the devil that day as well as his family. I cannot even begin to tell you the nightmare that began … it lasted for 27 years. Until Jesus came, Nov, 13, 2019. There is much more to the story. But when Jesus came, He promised me justice for my daughter. Justice that was due her 30 years ago. What Mrs Wormwood said was Diabolical sacrilegious blasphemy !! Jesus will hold her accountable !! It was done in His Name.

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    • Thankyou! What a terrible thing and yet very common. These wolves are among the sheep and far too often shepherds do not protect tge flock. Christ will indeed hold her accoutable. She will face His consuming fire.

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  2. SJH

    Oh, Ps Crippen, from my experience as a lifelong target of bullies, EVERY group (school, work, PTA, bookclub, exercise class, etc) of women has a Ms/Mrs. Wormwood and her minions. The secret is identifying her early…and ignoring and outperforming her.

    And bless, not curse, her. It confounds them to no end when we don’t react or respond with aggession to their aggression. She is, but for a short time, be a earthly ruler with an eternity of accountable reserved for her.

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  3. I know a Mrs. Wormwood. She is a pastor’s wife, like mentioned above. She talks in a super sweet, syrupy voice, but if you crossed her, which I inadvertently did, the fangs come out.

    We were on a missions trip together, and the leader of the group decided I should give the talk for the next day since I was a counselor and these ladies were counseling women coming out of sex trafficking. This pastor’s wife cried and complained to her roommate, who then told the leader of the group. The leader changed the plan for the next day so the pastor’s wife would have a chance to speak. After that, she treated me with disdain and told her husband, the pastor, who eventually wanted me fired from the counseling department.

    I don’t trust so-called Christian women who talk in a sweetsy voice, because generally under that false sweetness is a viper ready to strike.

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