As you know, most of the domestic abuse victims we hear from are women. Abusers are most often men. But not always. We have dealt with cases in which the woman was clearly the abuser, and in some ways it is even more difficult for men to understand what is happening to them and to ask anyone for help.
The typical male abuser who contacts us, wants our help in pressuring his wife to remain married to him. He has normally already gained his church as his ally and he is seeking to make us his ally, or at least to cause us to doubt his victim’s report to us.
In this post, I am publishing a letter from a pastor and an assistant pastor which was written to a man in their congregation. This man, whom we will call Jim, went to them for help. His wife was a classic abuser. Jim’s goal in contacting us was not to help him keep control and power over his wife, but to help him understand what God’s will is for him in his marriage. Therefore, none of the typical elements of a male abuser trying to dupe us into helping him are present in this case, but just the reverse.
All satire here is my doing, not the victim’s. All hostility from Screwtape and Wormwood is to be directed at me and I will be happy to counter additional twistings of God’s Word that they attempt to launch. I have changed the names, but otherwise this is an actual letter showing the typical kind of oppression a domestic abuse victim receives at the hands of their pastors. I could write a long essay about the many falsehoods in this letter, but I will just post it for now and you all can comment and share your insights. Let’s help everyone see the errors and biblical twistings this letter contains. Oh, and the few boldface all-caps comments are mine – at points that I couldn’t resist saying something.
Continue reading “Another Letter from Pastor Screwtape to a Domestic Abuse Victim”