Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

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Book Recommendation: Dare to Fly by Senator Martha McSally

One of our longtime blog followers (and my friend) sent me the following book recommendation. The author is now a U.S. Senator (Arizona) who is a retired Air Force officer, having served as a fighter pilot in many combat arenas. Martha McSally is also an abuse survivor and her life story will be a real encouragement to all.  You can find Dare to Fly on Amazon here*.
Here is the synopsis my friend sent me:
This week I received a copy of Senator Martha McSally’s new book, Dare To Fly: Simple Lessons in Never Giving Up. She was appointed to the US Senate from AZ, and is currently running for a full term. She is also a retired USAF Colonel., who led troops in Afghanistan! The first female fighter pilot to fly in combat and to command a fighter squadron in combat. I find her to be an inspiration. But even more, what she overcame!
So far I have only read chapter 10: “Thrive Through the Darkness”.
She tells of being sexually assaulted, abused and raped, first by her high school coach, and then in the USAF. She tells how the military structure, even in the Academy, allowed this to happen to women, and the measures she took to fight for reform, and how she personally “thrived” through this darkness. She is a believer. I will quote a paragraph here:
“It is important not to conflate forgiveness with reconciliation, because they are very different. Forgiveness is letting go of the offense and not letting it have any power over you anymore. Reconciliation is a restoration of the relationship. We are called to forgive, and we are freed when we forgive, but we are not necessarily called to reconcile with the other person.”
And more:
…”With the grace of God leading me, I was able to come to a true place of forgiveness, freed from the rage and sense of betrayal—feelings that were punishing me, not the man who assaulted me.”
My friend continues:
There is probably more inspiration to encourage women to fight through the challenges of life (and abuse) in this book. The military good ol’ boy structure reminds me of some churches.
*Unholy Charade is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for website owners to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking Amazon.com and affiliated sites.  See additional information here.

The Love of Money: Why Churches, Denominations, and other "Christian" Entities Abuse the Abused

As criminal investigators often say, “follow the money” if you want to get to the crooks. In this post I want to expose a chief and leading motive which explains why “christian” entities (denominations, seminaries, churches, missions organizations, Bible colleges, pastors, etc) so typically abuse the abused. Why do they cover up the evils of the wicked? Why do they try to silence the victims? Why is the wicked man so often allowed to remain in a church while his victim is ostracized? I think the answer is largely right in front of us and it is far more base and disgusting than we might realize when all the fog of excuses is blown away.

Abused in Your Sleep – Another Control Tactic of the Wicked

I was told that my body was not my own, but the touching went on despite me saying I was so tired and wanted to go back to sleep. I would wake up from the touching and pretend that I was still asleep.  I can only remember once or twice that it went the whole way while I was sleeping. But I’ve since discovered now that my ex was sexually abusing me but using scripture to justify it.

This power and control tactic is not at all uncommon. Over the years I have had numbers of abuse victims tell me exactly what this quote from a survivor describes. Abuse during sleep. And very commonly, sexual abuse during sleep.
Abusers, as you know, lust for power and control. They demand it. It is like the rush of some drug to them. They even want their target to know that she is not even beyond that control during sleep! And so they demand sex at 2am or they startle her awake by shouting and raging about something she supposedly did wrong – and then eventually go back to a sound sleep themselves!

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