More Thoughts on Abuse Victims as Widows and Orphans

Exo 22:22-24  You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.  (23)  If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry,  (24)  and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.

I have written before on this subject of abuse victims as widows and orphans of our day. I maintain that the many Scriptures that tell us to care for them and that promise the Lord’s wrath upon anyone who mistreats them apply directly to victims of domestic abusers and their children. Some of you have told me that your pastor (ex pastor now, I trust) rejects this suggestion of the abuse victim as widow.

Those pastors are dead wrong and it leaves me wondering why they are so opposed to treating abuse victims as belonging to this category.

Consider the language used in the Bible for widows and orphans and others:

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Stephanie’s Story: Part 1

Stephanie, like most of our readers, married an abuser and, to make her plight worse, her church and pastor added to the abuse. Stephanie wants to tell her story, so we are publishing it here in a series. AND we are going to include the emails and letters her ex pastor and church sent her. This first part will be a bit longer than the next few because it is a summary of her story, and as you know, our stories are very hard to summarize. Many thanks to Stephanie!

[In your comments to this story, see how many typical abuser tactics you can identify here. Naming them will certainly help others who are following the blog]

Continue reading “Stephanie’s Story: Part 1”

When the Abuse Victim Becomes the Abuser’s Ally

Acts 5:1-2 But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, (2) and with his wife’s knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

It is not my intent to teach that Sapphira was married to an abuser. I simply cite this scripture as an illustration of a wife taking the side of her husband in an evil matter. Both were held accountable.

Nor am I teaching here that a victim of domestic abuse who does not actively expose her abuser is going to be counted guilty by the Lord. We all know, I trust, that “just leaving” an abuser is no easy matter and sometimes, for a time, it is impossible.

But I do want to discuss here a subject that I have come across personally numerous times, namely, cases in which the wife of a domestic abuser actively defends the abuser and even participates in his abuse of their children and of other people. All of the cases I have dealt with have been in the local church and in which the abuser and spouse claimed to be Christians.

Continue reading “When the Abuse Victim Becomes the Abuser’s Ally”