Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Tag: harmful views on abuse Page 1 of 7

A False "Happy" is an Environment in which Abuse Hides

“Where does this happy feeling come from? JESUS! Where does this happy feeling come from? JESUS! This happy feeling comes from Jesus! Everyday He more than pleases! That’s where this happy feeling comes from.” Luke 22:42-44 saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but…

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Book Review: The Peacemaker — Peace at Any Cost?

The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande is no friend of abuse victims and has real potential to increase their suffering greatly.  This book has been in use for some years now (1991) and we have had reports of it creating havoc in abuse settings.…

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We All Begin in Naivete About Evil — But We Must Not Stay There

 He also told them a parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?  (Luke 6:39) An abuse survivor made the following excellent comment:  I grew up very sheltered, I mean genuinely sheltered and protected in a godly Bible-believing home. And if…

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Anger Management is Not the Answer

A reader recently wrote and said that her ex, and abusive man for over two decades, insists that his only problem is anger.  He claims to be a Christian and is verbally repentant about his anger.  The only problem is that in the same breath that he “confesses” his anger,…

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He is Just the Nicest Man I’ve Ever Met — Beware the Charm of Evil

The sins of some people are conspicuous, going before them to judgment, but the sins of others appear later. So also good works are conspicuous, and even those that are not cannot remain hidden. (1 Timothy 5:24-25) One of the important things we do here at Unholy Charade is to…

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Does the Bible Teach Meritorious Suffering?

The following illustration has been used to convince abuse victims that the abuse they are suffering is God’s determined will for them, and they need to submit to it.  Divorce is out of the question – There was a man, who was given a cross to bear through life. As…

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Challenging the No Divorce for Abuse Fortress Which Has Been Raised Up Against the Knowledge of God

I continue to hammer on this business of abuse as grounds for divorce because frankly I see it as the non-negotiable issue in this battle against abuse and abusers hiding in the church and being enabled by pastors and Christians.  As long as anyone refuses to acknowledge that a victim…

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Zeal Without Knowledge: Bible Interpretation that Leads to Mercilessness and Injustice

I have written on this subject and on the following Scriptures in other posts. But they have been on my mind again the last few weeks. I keep seeing them violated by Bible teachers, pastors, and counselors of a certain type. Recently I have seen this “zeal without knowledge” pattern…

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Foolish Naivete About Evil Disqualifies a “Counselor”

John 8:42-44  Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here. I came not of my own accord, but he sent me.  Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to…

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Abuse and Divorce: This is the False Teaching Wayne Grudem and the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Put Upon Victims for Years!

I published an article Monday about how Wayne Grudem's recent "discovery" that abuse is grounds for divorce, was devoid of a confession of sin for all the false teaching he and his camp have put upon abuse victims. His "no divorce for abuse" command (wrapped up as "biblical") has caused…

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