A Huge Defense Against Abusers and False Counselors

Ephesians 4:14 ESV  so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.

Hebrews 5:12-14 ESV  For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food,  (13)  for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child.  (14)  But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.

Matthew 10:16-17 ESV  “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.  (17)  Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues,

As most of you know from hard experience, one of the leading factors that keeps victims of domestic abuse in that abuse is the false teaching and commands of so many pastors, church leaders, “biblical” counselors, and the books they write. False religion, twisted scripture, and the evil people who lay them on us are instruments of evil. However “nice” they may seem, the enslaving and dangerous teachings they insist we must obey make them instruments of the evil one.

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Boys’ Clubs in the Church

Numbers 27:1-7 Then drew near the daughters of Zelophehad the son of Hepher, son of Gilead, son of Machir, son of Manasseh, from the clans of Manasseh the son of Joseph. The names of his daughters were: Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.  And they stood before Moses and before Eleazar the priest and before the chiefs and all the congregation, at the entrance of the tent of meeting, saying, “Our father died in the wilderness. He was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together against the LORD in the company of Korah, but died for his own sin. And he had no sons. Why should the name of our father be taken away from his clan because he had no son? Give to us a possession among our father’s brothers.” Moses brought their case before the LORD. And the LORD said to Moses, “The daughters of Zelophehad are right. You shall give them possession of an inheritance among their father’s brothers and transfer the inheritance of their father to them.

Men are men and women are women. The Lord created us male and female. This fallen world in rebellion against the Lord actively perverts sexuality, and that to mankind’s ruin. Sexual immorality of all kinds is to be rejected by every Christian. Clearly that is God’s will for us – our sanctification.

Yet there is another form of distortion when it comes to male and female, and we find this example not only in the world but in our churches. I call it the boys’ club. Most of us experienced it when we were kids. No girls allowed signs posted on the treehouse or bedroom door. To be fair, I think I have seen some no boys allowed signs too! There is an early rivalry between the sexes which gets even more complex when puberty hits.

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Saul – A Case Study in False Repentance

As anyone familiar with the mentality and tactics of the abuser knows, false repentance is a common ploy of such people.   They can be very convincing.  They have changed.  What they did was wrong, but they are finished with it forever.  If their victim will only forgive them, all will be well.  So it is vital that all of us – victims, Christians, pastors, counselors – become wise and discerning rather than naive and foolishly trusting.

King Saul was an abusive man.  I think that is safe to say.  Anyone so jealous that he would launch a spear at one of their most loyal subjects certainly qualifies for the abuser label.  And Saul played the “repentance” card very well.  It didn’t work, of course, because he was trying to deceive the Lord Himself by deceiving the prophet Samuel.

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