Category: Abusers

The Root of Abuse

On By Jeff CrippenIn Abusers11 Comments

One of the most common ways that a Christian is persecuted today is in the scenario of a Christian who is married to a non-Christian.  Very often the unsaved spouse, the abuser, parades himself or herself as an eminent Christian, but is really only a Saul.  And at the root of the abuse is a fear of Christ, as the abuser sees that the Spirit of Christ is in the victim, and a hatred for Christ and thus for the victim.

As I am contacted by abuse victims who are Christians, and usually it is the wife – I am learning this to be true.  And it is something that the victims often have not yet realized.  Here is the root cause of the abuse –

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Forever My Girl (A New Movie) – Ammunition for Abusers and Their Allies?

On By Jeff CrippenIn Abusers7 Comments

Eph 5:15-17 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, (16) making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. (17) Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

I just watched a trailer for a new movie, “Forever My Girl,” and recognized what I believe is the same old, same old, same old line that domestic abuse victims are handed – especially Christian domestic abuse victims. Here is the blurb describing the storyline:

One of the biggest country stars in the world, Liam Page, left his bride, Josie, at the altar 8 years ago, choosing fame and fortune instead. However, Liam has never gotten over Josie, his one true love….As he attempts to reclaim everything he loved and lost, Josie does her best to keep him out of her heart, but life has one more surprise waiting for Liam, one that could change everything, in this heartwarming look at love, family and second chances.

Now, yes, you can call me negative, pessimistic, and accuse me of raining on everyone’s parade as they get sucked up into the fantasy world that this movie is going to present, but then I look at hard facts through the lens of hard experience.

The scene in the preview that I watched which really made me jump out of my chair and head for the blog to write this article is the scene in a church service. The preacher is up front, stained glass behind him, dishing out the old “love forgives all things” line. What a rush! But wait, “forgives all things”? This line has a deviously wicked, dark magic in it. Suddenly the onus for reconciling is removed from the wicked one and placed upon the shoulders of the victim.

In the movie, I suspect, all ends wonderfully. Happy ever after. The audiences in the theaters will applaud. Tears will be shed. Liam and Josie are finally together.

Now, you can correct me if you watch the movie and see it differently. But only if somehow the trailer I watched does not reflect the story line of the movie accurately. I am not interested in hearing from people who want to mount the soapbox of “it’s true! People can change! We are to forgive everyone and everything.”

I also realize that there are people who profess to be Christians who will be all upset because I am, they say, making a mountain out of a mole hill. Nope. This is already a mountain. Over and over and over again, churches and people who claim to follow Christ place the heavy, ungodly burden of “forgiveness” on victims of wicked people who have no intention of changing or repenting. And more, they demand that victims must reconcile in relationship with such people. That is to say, the victim must always remain in the abusive marriage “because God can change anyone.” These are all fantastical lies.

This is a movie. It is not reality. The Liams do not exist in real life. Liam is a slimeball who chose the world over his vow to a young woman, and now he blows back into town wanting it all back. In the movie you can be sure that he will play his role as a sincere, sorry, repentant, humble guy and you are gonna “just love him.” The poor fellow. Come on, Josie! Take him back!

It sounds like in the movie she does. But in real life when the wicked say “I am so sorry, I will never do that again, I love you and I just don’t know why I keep treating you like trash,” we are wise to proceed with extreme caution. Because the fact is, he will do it again. And again. And again.