Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Why are RASN’s Threatened When we Disagree With Them?

Proverbs 22:24-25 Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, (25) lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.

If you have had much contact at all with a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist), then you have no doubt been lashed with their anger. And one of the most common fuses that sets off this anger is simple disagreement with them. RASN’s simply cannot tolerate any opinion other than their own. Not only do they punish you for voicing disagreement, the fire of their wrath is set off if they even sense that you are thinking differently than they are. They are dictators on a small scale who insist on controlling even the minds of others.

Why is this? Why the rage?

Well, RASN’s are intensely insecure and fearful people. What are they afraid of? They are afraid that someone will see through their disguise and see them for who they really are. For whatever reason (none of such reasons being good), these kinds of people have resolved to cover their true selves with an image they have fabricated. So they live in constant fear that they will be discovered and uncovered. They expend tremendous energy keeping up the disguise. It’s like one of those sci-fi cloaking devices which requires continual energy to maintain or else the spaceship will become visible.

RASN’s then, are incredibly insecure and fearful people. They are in bondage to fear. They are never wrong. They are the best. They must win. No one must be permitted to believe otherwise. And anyone who does must be punished with blame, with an anger-lashing, or with some other form of retribution.

Don’t feel sorry for them. Don’t imagine that if you could just reason with them and help them see their fear, you could fix them. Nope. Not gonna work. I suppose that is what these Proverbs mean:

Pro 23:9 Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.

Pro 26:12 Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

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A Review of What a Reviler is

1 Comment

  1. RASN Survivor

    This is EXACTLY the RASN script! Once you have seen it you can’t erase it from your memory – even when the RASN’s faux tears come out, it is so telling – except to those that blindly take the RASN bait. Thank you for the Proverbs reminders….. they have endured the test of time and countless RASNs since.

    2

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