Book Recommendation: Dare to Fly by Senator Martha McSally

One of our longtime blog followers (and my friend) sent me the following book recommendation. The author is now a U.S. Senator (Arizona) who is a retired Air Force officer, having served as a fighter pilot in many combat arenas. Martha McSally is also an abuse survivor and her life story will be a real encouragement to all.  You can find Dare to Fly on Amazon here*.
Here is the synopsis my friend sent me:
This week I received a copy of Senator Martha McSally’s new book, Dare To Fly: Simple Lessons in Never Giving Up. She was appointed to the US Senate from AZ, and is currently running for a full term. She is also a retired USAF Colonel., who led troops in Afghanistan! The first female fighter pilot to fly in combat and to command a fighter squadron in combat. I find her to be an inspiration. But even more, what she overcame!
So far I have only read chapter 10: “Thrive Through the Darkness”.
She tells of being sexually assaulted, abused and raped, first by her high school coach, and then in the USAF. She tells how the military structure, even in the Academy, allowed this to happen to women, and the measures she took to fight for reform, and how she personally “thrived” through this darkness. She is a believer. I will quote a paragraph here:
“It is important not to conflate forgiveness with reconciliation, because they are very different. Forgiveness is letting go of the offense and not letting it have any power over you anymore. Reconciliation is a restoration of the relationship. We are called to forgive, and we are freed when we forgive, but we are not necessarily called to reconcile with the other person.”
And more:
…”With the grace of God leading me, I was able to come to a true place of forgiveness, freed from the rage and sense of betrayal—feelings that were punishing me, not the man who assaulted me.”
My friend continues:
There is probably more inspiration to encourage women to fight through the challenges of life (and abuse) in this book. The military good ol’ boy structure reminds me of some churches.
*Unholy Charade is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for website owners to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking Amazon.com and affiliated sites.  See additional information here.

Daughters, be Wise and Beware

Proverbs 5:3-5 ESV  For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil,  (4)  but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.  (5)  Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol;

I am going to turn this scripture around. It is written to a son, but surely we can use it as a warning to daughters as well. Because as many of you have learned by sad experience:

Continue reading “Daughters, be Wise and Beware”

Want to Know What Your Abuser is Thinking?

Micah 2:1-2  Woe to those who devise wickedness and work evil on their beds! When the morning dawns, they perform it, because it is in the power of their hand.  (2)  They covet fields and seize them, and houses, and take them away; they oppress a man and his house, a man and his inheritance.

One of the most difficult obstacles standing in the way of a “normal” person (that’s you) coming to understand just who an abuser is in essence is coming to the realization of the thoroughness of these wicked ones. In part this is because we do not think like the abuser does, but our default setting in this regard is to believe that abusers DO think like we do. Wrong. The scripture quoted above from Micah goes a long way in helping us cross this hurdle.

Continue reading “Want to Know What Your Abuser is Thinking?”