Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

A Huge Defense Against Abusers and False Counselors

Ephesians 4:14 ESV  so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.
Hebrews 5:12-14 ESV  For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food,  (13)  for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child.  (14)  But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.
Matthew 10:16-17 ESV  “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.  (17)  Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues,

As most of you know from hard experience, one of the leading factors that keeps victims of domestic abuse in that abuse is the false teaching and commands of so many pastors, church leaders, “biblical” counselors, and the books they write. False religion, twisted scripture, and the evil people who lay them on us are instruments of evil. However “nice” they may seem, the enslaving and dangerous teachings they insist we must obey make them instruments of the evil one.

The scriptures I have quoted above (and many others – check out Galatians for instance), tell us that being children spiritually is a dangerous condition to remain in. When we are still in diapers, feeding off a bottle of milk, we are in a very perilous and vulnerable state. So it is in regard to Christian maturity – we must be certain to press on and to do so quickly. Growing up in Christ, becoming wise in His truth, will keep us from being “tossed to and fro” by these false teachings that blow at us.
Notice the Hebrews passage. We must become skilled in the word of righteousness – the Bible. Our powers of discernment must be trained so that we can distinguish good from evil. So that we can identify false teachings and false teachers. So that we can recognize an evil person parading as a Christian. So that we can reject the false, enslaving, gas-lighting lies that these servants of the devil throw at us.
I wrote a book titled Wise as Serpents: Growing Wise to the Evil Among Us*.  I hope you all will get it and read it – not so I can sell books, but so that you will be helped to grow up, to become strong and wise and have an ever increasing ability to see evil when it comes at you camoflauged as God’s Word. Ultimately of course this wisdom and growth in Christ comes from His Spirit working in us by His Word, and I hope that my book will be a tool to help you see and understand His Word and sort out God’s truth from the lies being laid upon you.
One of the most common and wicked lies being thrown at us is that a domestic abuser certainly can be a Christian, and therefore we are required by God to forgive them, show them empathy and mercy, patiently endure their abuser because, after all, “we are all sinners.” Insert vomit and anger memes here. That is why I wrote (please excuse on more line of promotion here) another booklet called Who is a Christian?* Because most professing Christians have been taught and believe that even though a person is habitually walking in sin, without real repentance, we must honor their claim that they are saved. This lie also excuses the churches for allowing an evil person wearing a saintly disguise to remain in the church, take communion, or even serve in a ministry of some kind. The victim of course, if she/he refuses to “forgive, reconcile, be merciful,” will be castigated and thrown under the bus. I know what this is like, by the way. It happened to me in a church I started some 30 years ago. I exposed an evil man’s sin. Now, 30 years later, I am out and he remains a “fine, upstanding” leader in that church.
And now, all these years later, I know what happened. It is this knowledge of truth that frees us, that enables us to realize the truth of Jesus’ warnings given to us by Him for our encouragement:

John 15:18-21 ESV  “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.  (19)  If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.  (20)  Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.  (21)  But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me.

*See our Amazon disclaimer


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  1. walkinginlight

    Yes indeed, the world does hate me. I remember many years ago after observing a person being highly manipulative and wearing a false mask, I pointed out what they were doing. The person I was trying to warn said “I can’t think like that”. I was floored. Someone telling me that they want to stay a baby eating pablum and keeping their head in the sand! So many refuse to obey God’s word about growing up and learning to discern evil from good, and with this type of person if you point out the evil, then YOU are the bad guy! Yup that’s me. The discerning truth telling bad guy (or I should say lady). I can’t wait to be with like minded brethren for all of eternity!!!

  2. Innoscent

    So many Christians are ‘spiritually paraplegic’. They have lost the faculty of discernment betweeen good and evil and the courage to act appropriately to the glory of God and the sake of the church. Yet God recorded many examples in the early church when discernment and obedience to the Holy Spirit were used to either heal, instruct, reprove or condemn.
    People aren’t putting time and effort to study their Bible and they rely on the mantras of inapt or false teachers. Mantras such as ‘Don’t judge’, ‘Be kind and loving’, ‘love your enemy’, and so on. They are reading from Satan’s bible.
    ‘Wise as Serpents’ has been a great help to me to undo twisted interpretations of Scriptures and to gain discernment and assurance in the Word. I highly recommend the book!

    • frankiesmith2064

      Amen I agree with you both. So true I’m always hated by phonies. I get it. Fake Christians pretending to be holy. I can’t wait to be with like minded souls in heaven. Wicked people hate good people. They see Gods spirit in us and reject us. Good riddance phonies. In addition Pastor Jeff has helped me untwist the scriptures used to keep me in bondage. This blog is an answer to my prayers.

  3. Free at last

    This is exactly it, and it is as common a problem in organized churches as there is oxygen in the air that we breathe. We must stand for the oppressed. Having been re-abused by the churches after leaving a cunning and violent abuser, my eyes have been opened. Many of the churches have become a hiding place and a breeding ground for satan’s work, which, unfortunately is a long-standing issue. The Holy Spirit does not leave you though ….. TRUST his prompting even when you have to do so alone. You do not owe anyone a reason when you do so……

    • Jeff Crippen

      Yes. Truth. This evil of these wicked abusers being coddled and embraced in churches is not rare. It is a plague.

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