Tag: abusers’ tactics

The Deeds of the Flesh ‘Fleshed Out'” — Sermon by Ps Jeff Crippen

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The Deeds of the Flesh ‘Fleshed Out’
Sermon 8 from the series:  The Psychology and Methods of Sin
A 21 sermon series on domestic violence and abuse
First given on September 12, 2010
Sermon Text: Galatians 5:16-21

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. (17) For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. (18) But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. (19) Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, (20) idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, (21) envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:16-21 ESV

The dynamic, the working power or principle of the New Covenant is not the keeping of the law – “do this and live” – but it is the leading of the Holy Spirit – the desires of the Spirit – in the Christian. In EVERY true Christian. Where the desires and leading of the Spirit are absent, Christ is absent and there is an unconverted heart. The life that is characterized then by the works of the flesh is a life that evidences no knowledge of Christ. “Those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

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The Abuser Uses Language to Establish Himself on the “High Ground”

On By Jeff CrippenIn Abusers13 Comments

Gen 3:1 “Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”

The wicked talk “down” to those they are trying to control and to do this, they very often open up their deceptive assault with words that are designed to establish them on the “high ground.” To make them appear superior – morally, spiritually, intellectually, superior. We are wise if we recognize this tactic. Let me try to explain and illustrate what this business looks like. Many of you will know exactly what I am talking about.

In order to shut down their target – to silence them and bring them into submission – the power and control hungry abuser will speak or write in such a way that he appears to be wiser, more loving, kinder, more godly, and purer in his motives than his target. All for the purpose of making his victim doubt herself, lose her confidence, place blame and guilt and shame upon her, even though in reality everything he is saying is a lie. Here are some real examples of this nastiness in action. The first one was targeted at me, and I have shared it before. It was written by a wicked man parading as an eminent “saint” in the church who was trying to shut me up after I had exposed evil in an organization our church used to belong to. Listen to him speak in his air of superiority:

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The Abuser and Satan’s Devices — Sermon by Ps Jeff Crippen

On By Jeff CrippenIn Sermons7 Comments

The Abuser and Satan’s Devices
Sermon 7 from the series:  The Psychology and Methods of Sin
A 21 sermon series on domestic violence and abuse
First given on September 5, 2010
Sermon Text: Hebrews 4:12

Couples counseling can end up being a big setback for the abused woman. The more she insists that her husband’ s cruelty or intimidation needs to be addressed, the more she may find the therapist/counselor looking down at her, saying, ‘It seems like you are determined to put all the blame on him and are refusing to look at your part in this.’ The counselor thereby inadvertently echoes the abuser’s attitude, and the woman is forced to deal with yet another context in which she has to defend herself. Most counselors in such circumstances are well intentioned but fail to understand the dynamics of abuse and allow the abuser to shape their perceptions of the situation. [Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?]

Sin is darkness. Evil craves and thrives upon secrecy and hiddeness. The wicked man exerts great energy and elaborate devices to make sure most people only see his mask. Think of the Lone Ranger – the great hero on a white stallion off to rescue someone else. Who doesn’t love the Lone Ranger? But who is this man behind the mask? When the mask comes off at home?

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