Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Let’s Talk about the Cruelty and Coldness of the RASN’s Abandonment

for Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica…(2Ti 4:10)

Where to begin with this topic? Narcissists – let’s start here (and the rest of the RASN crowd does the same thing anyway). A relationship – a friendship, a marriage, a familial relation, etc, with a narcissist can initially and perhaps even for an extended time, appear to be real. Love-bombing, flattering – these and more are all weapons of the narcissist to deceive and use.

But then the day comes – and I have had multiple people who have experienced this use the very same phrase – the day comes when just as if someone had thrown a switch, the Demas deserts you. Overnight, everything changed. From one day to the next. Over. Done. Gone. Desertion with no remorse.

I bet Demas had appeared to be a true Christian brother to Paul. But his real love was elsewhere. For whatever selfish purpose, he was happy to hang with Paul – until it was going to cost him. And then he hit the road. Back to the world and that is where his heart was all along anyway.

If you are born again, if you truly know Christ, then this kind of thing either has happened to you or it is going to happen to you. Count on it. I have had professing Christians tell me how much they loved me and how thankful they were for our ministry, and then boom! Gone never to be seen again. No apparent reason. Or, if pressed by someone, you can bet that they will put the blame on you. But you will still be flabbergasted and hurt at how someone like this could just desert?

Think of it – the coldness of this abandonment, so often followed up by persecution. And often the abandonment happens even if the wicked one is still living under the same roof as the one abandoned.

Desertion and abandonment clearly reveal the real heart and mind of a person. It is revealed that the friendship, the apparent love, was just a ruse. And once we understand this, as painful as it is, we will have grown wiser.


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1 Comment

  1. notlongnow

    This was very helpful. Thank you.


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