Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. (Proverbs 26:24-26)
Those verses nail it! When he speaks graciously, believe him not. I have a note on my desk to remind me of times past – “I didn’t understand what I was really dealing with.” I suspect most all of you can identify with that.
When we do not realize what a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist) really is, we will not be able to respond to them as we should. And, of course, the RASN capitalizes on this deception by using all kinds of tactics to promote his or her disguise. So, we show them empathy, we excuse them and disregard red flags – because we don’t really grasp the nature of who they really are. We even defend them when others point out troubling things about them to us. It’s all part of the big lie that RASNs are.
We tend to think that other people think like we do – but not all do. RASNs have an entirely different (and wicked) mindset. They do not have good motives. They are, in fact, motivated by SELF and by a demand that all other people serve that self, promote that image, and woe to anyone who refuses to do so. RASNs only love themselves. It is very hard for us to come to terms with the truth that the RASN in our lives NEVER loved us, NEVER was a real friend. But getting free of such people requires that we eventually face up to this fact. The narcissist views those around him as his personal ego-building supply. To him, they have no other purpose. As a result, the narcissist can cast a wife or “friend” off in a moment with no pangs of loss or sadness.
Understanding what a RASN is, is the first step to freedom from the bondage these kind ensnare others with.
Cordellia
“RASNs have an entirely different (and wicked) mindset.” 100%
RASNs are indeed, *evil*
RASNs 1st draw victims in by playing “poor me.” It’s the emotional hook to keep victims excusing the abuse: ‘That poor, misunderstood, person’ and “XYandZ happened to them, I must extend grace.’ It’s a vicious and dangerous cycle.
I was reminded today:
“RASNs are never kind.
Never.
Never, not once.
They never take a day off.”
RASNS show *forms* of kindness, but not kindness for kindness sake. It’s a trap to clean up their reputation, get their victims to think the RASNs have changed in order to bring their guard down. The fake kindness lures victims into a false sense of security, then the RASNs dig deeper into their victims to get access to our wills in order to destroy them. The RASNs will must prevail at all times.
RASNs have grandiose, vain imaginings about themselves and need victims to continuously fuel/supply the lie. If denied the adulation, they discard their victims with zero emotion. RASNs are coldhearted users and *enjoy* murdering victims’ souls and too often their body as well.