Let’s begin with some definitions –

Childish means relating to, characteristic of, or typical of a child, showing a lack of maturity, wisdom, or emotional control in a way that is not fitting for an adult.

And here is one more:

Pretense – Deception: A way of behaving meant to trick people or hide your real intentions (a pretext). Make-believe: Imaginary play or a fictional state, often seen in children.

RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) are characterized by an inappropriate lack of maturity not fitting for an adult. They practice pretense – they pretend. Both of these negative personality qualities will be found in, for example, the abuser or narcissist. Your abuser is a very immature, emotionally stunted person. They failed to develop into normal adult maturity. They may be brilliant in intelligence (which just makes them more cunning and dangerous). They may be quite successful in their vocation. But they are selfish children who lack emotional control and they operate with deception, hiding their real intentions.

One of the examples of this evil which I have seen is that of an adult man who claimed to be the finest Christian to walk the earth, literally throw himself down on a couch in my office when he realized he was not going to get his way in controlling me. Another such instance – “if you had only listened to me!” spoken in a loud, hand-wringing manner. Or still another “Christian” man becoming instantly angry in response to a mere suggestion regarding his introduction of his personal politics into the church.

Just like little children, RASNs throw fits when they cannot have their way. They cannot tolerate accountability – being told “no.” You have seen that child in the line at the grocery store checkout screaming and throwing a fit when mom told him he cannot have that candy bar. Children must be disciplined and taught, as they grow up, that such behavior is wrong. That they must not be selfish. They must consider others. But those things never happen in the RASN.

The selfish tantrum behavior of a child is easy to spot. You see it. You know what it is. But when that same self-centeredness breaks out in the emotionally immature adult – it is not so easy to see it for what it is. The adult tantrum-thrower is far more deceptive and cunning. He or she is practiced at living a life of pretense. He is an emotional selfish child but he is now in the body of an adult and thus it is much more difficult to look at him and realize, “I am dealing with a selfish brat here who is self-centered and demands his way.”

But until we are wise to all of this, the RASN will continue to scam us, and sadly, do great harm to us.