2Ti 3:1-2 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. (2) For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

Sin is about self. Self is first. Self is its own god. Self serves itself at the expense of others. And this is why one of the characteristic marks of a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist) is using others. Wicked people such as domestic abusers and the other categories of evil ones only see themselves. The only notice they take of others is as tools whose existence is only justified in being used.

It is very easy for us to miss this quality of evil, and thus we end up being used. Evil is marked by unthankfulness. RASNs are ungrateful. They expect everyone else to serve them and if that service is denied, the fangs come out.

Example – There was once a man, a professing Christian who actually worked as a “Christian” counselor and who had graduated from seminary, who was a member of our church here. He was a board member when I arrived. He had preached on occasion when the church was without a pastor. But there were signs that all was not as it appeared. His marriage, for instance, was, well, let’s just say – odd. The first time his anger at me showed was when he asked me (he was in his 70’s) to drive him in my own vehicle 100 miles (one way) to a location where he had stored some of his possessions. Why? Because he wanted to get an old bathroom sink from there for his house. The think was obviously impractical – he could buy a used sink locally, or even a new one, for less than a 200 mile trip would cost. So I declined to do this. Fangs. “Do you mean that as my pastor, you are saying that you won’t do this for me?” And this was by no means the only time he acted this way. Eventually, after telling me some months later that I was not qualified to be a pastor, he left the church.

This is just one of many, many such examples of “using” that I could give, and I am sure you have examples from you own experiences. Abusers are users. They demand to be served. And this using can easily go under our abuser-detection radar if we are not up to speed on it. A person can wear a “fine Christian holy saint” disguise, but when we see this trait of using others, of demanding to be served, it is time for the red warning lights to start flashing.