1Jn 3:14-15 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. (15) Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
I like to watch the “true crime” type programs – FBI Files, Real Crime, and so on. You can find scores of these episodes on You Tube. They are very instructive about evil, how justice is brought down upon the heads of the wicked, about how evil operates, and sadly, about how justice is sometimes not fully served. One of the regular themes you see in these stories is how the wicked imagine themselves to be able to get away with murder – and they ultimately become fools.
One of the recent programs I watched was the very sad story of incredible wickedness unleased upon a young woman in England. She went out on a date with a guy who worked where she was employed, realized he was not the person she wanted to have a relationship with after that, and turned down his subsequent requests for her to go out with him.
And then he began to stalk her.
He was everywhere. On the train she commuted on. Outside her apartment. At work in her department (even though he was supposed to work on a different floor). On the phone. In texts and emails (scores of which came sometimes every day).
She was reluctant to report this to the police because she felt ashamed that she had, she thought, been so stupid as to go out with such a person in the first place. Of course there was nothing to be ashamed of. We have all been duped by evil people. Nevertheless she was ashamed and it took quite some time more of this stalking before she finally went to the police.
Now, here is where the “system” failed her. Restraining orders were issued. This sociopath ignored them. He was arrested, but then permitted to go free with a warning. No matter to him. He kept showing up wherever she went. He continued to work where she worked even after she reported the stalking to her employer. He was arrested again, but posted bond and a trial date was set.
Then he disappeared. She thought the nightmare was finally over. Some months past with no sign of him. Where was he?
It turns out that he has left England and gone back to his native eastern European country. What was he doing there? Well, having once served in the military in that country, he was able to purchase a handgun. And he was practicing with it at the firing range. Then, the day came when he set out – with the gun – to return to London. Amazing as it was, he easily drove through the border station with no one detecting that he had a firearm.
And, finally, one day while this young lady was at work, a few minutes before closing time, this evil demon of a man crept into the store via a rear entrance (security had been warned about him after he had been terminated from his job there)…where no one saw him come in. He walked up behind this poor girl, shot her in the back of the head, then fired 3 more rounds into her face, then -coward that he was – turned the pistol on himself.
In the days after this horror, the victim’s mother stepped forward and took action, lobbying even at 10 Downing Street (where the Prime Minister was) for legislation to make stalking a serious crime. Stalking came to be seen for what it was, as one friend of the victim put it – Stalking is murder in slow motion. In states such as Oregon here in the U.S., stalking is a class a misdemeanor (up to one year in jail) and becomes a class C felony (5 years in prison) for a subsequent conviction. This is still not serious enough in my opinion.
Like stalking, domestic abuse effected by a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist) is slow motion murder. God’s Word says so (see the Scripture quoted above). Abuse is murder. Spiritually and physically. If you know many survivors/victims of abuse, you also know that many, many, many of them (probably most) suffer from physical effects of abuse. You cannot live day by day, moment by moment, in a state of stress, being constantly on guard, walking on eggshells, having your immune system fired up on high alert, without being physically harmed – even if the abuser never physically assaults you. Abuse is a poison administered in doses day after day after day.
The Lord in His Word puts it plainly and clearly – if a husband or wife hates/abuses their spouse, they are guilty of murder. RASNs are murderers. And their evil, by the way, extends beyond marriage. RASNs target fellow employees. They target others in the church in order to get power and control. They murder family members by daily serving those doses of evil. And, let’s not forget, more often than we even want to know, RASNs literally kill their target. You read about these murders every week in the news.
Abuse is murder in slow motion. How many murderers are members of a local church, disguised as “just the finest Christian person you would ever know”?