Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen Page 56 of 89

Lessons from Laodicea

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On October 12, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

Compare these two churches –
1. Laodicea

Revelation 3:14-17, “And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: ‘The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s creation. (15) “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! (16) So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. (17) For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.”

2.  Smyrna:

Revelation 2:8-10, “And to the angel of the church in Smyrna write: ‘The words of the first and the last, who died and came to life. (9) “‘I know your tribulation and your poverty (but you are rich) and the slander of those who say that they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. (10) Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.”

Things are rarely as they seem to be.  By all outward appearances, the Laodicean church had God’s blessing upon it.   Just look at all of its finery.  They probably were well thought of in their community.  They didn’t upset anyone.  They stuck to a definite middle-of-the-road Christianity.  And Smyrna?  Well, those people had a problem.  They weren’t growing in size or finances.  They were hated not only by their community, but especially by the other “faith communities” in their town. They were radical and stirred up trouble.  They brought all of their troubles upon themselves.  Outward appearances, you see.

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What "Do Not Think Too Highly of Yourself" does NOT Mean

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On October 7, 2020

In Biblical Teaching

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3-8)

Satan and his reps are very adept at twisting God’s Word. This Scripture has been a favorite target for such abuse. Victims of evil have been taught, told, commanded, instructed… that God wants them to continue being abused. This twisted evil insanity goes something like this:

  • You are selfish and you are conceited
  • You need to humble yourself
  • You need to focus on others, including your abuser, and consider them more important than yourself
  • You need to be like Jesus and even die if necessary

Reporting abuse, desiring to be free of abuse, and exposing the wicked is not selfish! It is not arrogance! Confronting evil is NOT self-serving. If it were, then Jesus, the apostles, and the prophets would be guilty of selfish arrogance. They all confronted evil. The Christian, Paul is saying here, is to love his brothers and sisters in Christ. We are to consider their needs more than selfishly and pridefully demanding first place for ourselves. In other words, when it comes to abuse cases, this Scripture is calling upon Christ’s people to stop being cowards, to quit focusing on the consequences for themselves if they stand with the victim against the abuser, and to consider the protection and deliverance of the victim as first priority. All of this, of course, assumes that it is a godly and right goal to bring justice to bear upon the wicked and deliverance for the oppressed.
Abuse victims are not guilty of selfish arrogance when they call out for deliverance. If they are, then the fact is that the following Scripture is an example of that selfish arrogance:

Be not silent, O God of my praise! For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues. They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause. In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer. So they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love. Appoint a wicked man against him; let an accuser stand at his right hand. When he is tried, let him come forth guilty; let his prayer be counted as sin! May his days be few; may another take his office! (Psalm 109:1-8)

So look out for this trap. Don’t let anyone twist Philippians 2 and convince you that seeking deliverance from and justice against your oppressor is to be guilty of selfish arrogance. It is quite the opposite.

Watch out for Flattery

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On October 5, 2020

In Abusers

Galatians 4:16-18 ESV  Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?  (17)  They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them.  (18)  It is always good to be made much of for a good purpose, and not only when I am present with you,

As I have written before on this topic, I won’t write at great length here. But this subject deserves repetition and reminder. The wicked use flattery to dupe us. That is what Paul is warning the Galatians about here. They make much of you. But it is for an evil purpose, not a good one.

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The Lord Knows Who are His Own – and Who are Not

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On September 30, 2020

In Biblical Teaching

2 Timothy 2:19 ESV  But God’s firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.”

There are two great consolations for us in this text. First, that the Lord knows who are His sheep. Second, that His flock consists of those who depart from iniquity. They do not walk in sin. They are new creations. This is consolation for us because it seems so often that there is such a mixture of tares among the wheat that sorting them out may appear impossible.

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A Huge Defense Against Abusers and False Counselors

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On September 28, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

Ephesians 4:14 ESV  so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.
Hebrews 5:12-14 ESV  For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food,  (13)  for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child.  (14)  But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.
Matthew 10:16-17 ESV  “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.  (17)  Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues,

As most of you know from hard experience, one of the leading factors that keeps victims of domestic abuse in that abuse is the false teaching and commands of so many pastors, church leaders, “biblical” counselors, and the books they write. False religion, twisted scripture, and the evil people who lay them on us are instruments of evil. However “nice” they may seem, the enslaving and dangerous teachings they insist we must obey make them instruments of the evil one.

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Boys' Clubs in the Church

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On September 23, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

Numbers 27:1-7 Then drew near the daughters of Zelophehad the son of Hepher, son of Gilead, son of Machir, son of Manasseh, from the clans of Manasseh the son of Joseph. The names of his daughters were: Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.  And they stood before Moses and before Eleazar the priest and before the chiefs and all the congregation, at the entrance of the tent of meeting, saying, “Our father died in the wilderness. He was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together against the LORD in the company of Korah, but died for his own sin. And he had no sons. Why should the name of our father be taken away from his clan because he had no son? Give to us a possession among our father’s brothers.” Moses brought their case before the LORD. And the LORD said to Moses, “The daughters of Zelophehad are right. You shall give them possession of an inheritance among their father’s brothers and transfer the inheritance of their father to them.

Men are men and women are women. The Lord created us male and female. This fallen world in rebellion against the Lord actively perverts sexuality, and that to mankind’s ruin. Sexual immorality of all kinds is to be rejected by every Christian. Clearly that is God’s will for us – our sanctification.
Yet there is another form of distortion when it comes to male and female, and we find this example not only in the world but in our churches. I call it the boys’ club. Most of us experienced it when we were kids. No girls allowed signs posted on the treehouse or bedroom door. To be fair, I think I have seen some no boys allowed signs too! There is an early rivalry between the sexes which gets even more complex when puberty hits.

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Trusting Experience Over Scripture – a Common and Deadly Error

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On September 21, 2020

In Getting Free

Galatians 1:6-8 ESV  I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel—  (7)  not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ.  (8)  But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed.

Many people who claim to be Christians also claim to believe the Bible to be God’s Word and our authority for what we believe and do. And yet in my conversations with them, I find that few really do consult Scripture as their primary source of truth. Instead, they turn to the “bible” of their own experience.
Let me explain.

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Growing Accustomed to Evil

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On September 14, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

Isaiah 1:1-4 ESV  The vision of Isaiah the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah.  (2)  Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth; for the LORD has spoken: “Children have I reared and brought up, but they have rebelled against me.  (3)  The ox knows its owner, and the donkey its master’s crib, but Israel does not know, my people do not understand.”  (4)  Ah, sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, offspring of evildoers, children who deal corruptly! They have forsaken the LORD, they have despised the Holy One of Israel, they are utterly estranged.

Some years ago I was in a meeting with some local people who claimed they wanted to help abuse victims. One of them was a judge in a local court. I was explaining that attorneys representing domestic abusers in family court very often misrepresent (lie) the victm and use the court system to bring even more prolonged suffering on their target. Frivolous proceedings. Many of you have experienced this.
But what I wanted to share with you here is that judge’s response. He said “of course they do.” And the tone in which he said this communicated volumes. It was obvious that he was not angry about this fraudulent use of the justice system but took it as a matter of fact, normal and expected practice. He was accustomed to evil, and he no longer really cared.

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Don't Make Traditional Church an Idol – A Great Article by Sam Powell

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On September 11, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

Christ Reformation Church reaches out via an online format to many people who have been sorely treated by and even cast out of local churches. We invite any genuine Christians or those genuinely seeking to know Christ to plug into this resource, and we receive comments constantly thanking us for this ministry and outreach and how the people “out there” really do consider CRC to be their own church family.
I very much recommend to you the following blog post by Pastor Sam Powell which can be found here.  It is about how making a narrow model of “church” is akin to Baal worship, and he refutes the notion that alternate models of meeting together – such as an online format – are not permissible by God. Pastor Powell believes, as do I, in the local church and we maintain that when there is a true church available that we can belong to locally, we should do so. Everyone that I know who is part of this blog family here or who is a distant member of CRC via social media believes the same thing.

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Saul – A Case Study in False Repentance

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On September 9, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

As anyone familiar with the mentality and tactics of the abuser knows, false repentance is a common ploy of such people.   They can be very convincing.  They have changed.  What they did was wrong, but they are finished with it forever.  If their victim will only forgive them, all will be well.  So it is vital that all of us – victims, Christians, pastors, counselors – become wise and discerning rather than naive and foolishly trusting.
King Saul was an abusive man.  I think that is safe to say.  Anyone so jealous that he would launch a spear at one of their most loyal subjects certainly qualifies for the abuser label.  And Saul played the “repentance” card very well.  It didn’t work, of course, because he was trying to deceive the Lord Himself by deceiving the prophet Samuel.

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