Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

"Everyone is a Christian" – Another Lie the Enemy Loves

1 John 2:4 ESV  Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him,

Years ago I was at a wedding where the presiding pastor was from a large “happening” church. (I have long since concluded that all that is “happening” in such churches is counterfeit religion). At the beginning of the ceremony, this Mr. nice Guy announced that the bride and groom were the most wonderful people on the planet, and declared that they had both become Christians under his expert pre-marital counseling. And then he said, “these people are awesome. All of you need to pray for them! Pray for them!”

Now, I knew quite a few people in that crowd. I knew that there was no way in the world that the majority of the audience came even close to knowing Christ. And in fact, neither did the bride and groom. And yet, you see my point here. This so-called pastor was pronouncing EVERYONE there, a Christian! Saved. In Christ. Able to come before God by the mediation of Jesus Christ in prayer. In fact the only time most of those people mentioned the Lord’s name was in some blasphemous context.
What has all of this got to do with domestic abusers?  Well, I suspect most of you can guess. Any environment that considers most everyone a Christian, and certainly anyone who says they are a Christian – to be a Christian, is necessarily going to be an environment that is user-friendly to the wicked. Such places let the wicked off the hook. And how many of you have personally seen that in action? Here is this evil husband or wife, persisting in wickedness and abuse, and yet the victim is told by the church that they must assume to the best – that they must assume the abuser to be a Christian. And those same kind of churches come right out and affirm God’s acceptance of the abuser himself – God is such a loving and forgiving deity, you know.
You will find this false theology pervasive in today’s Christian environments. You will hear it preached at funerals where the departed one is pronounced saved, even though everyone there knows he was a contender for the trophy for the use of the most blasphemies in all history. Never mind that. We must not speak negatively of the dead, you know. And so, even this guy has gone on to that “better place.”
How many wives of such evil men have found themselves cringing at such lies and feeling guilty because, frankly, they hungered and thirsted for righteousness and justice. They had even, dare they admit it, hoped he was now in hell listening to “Who’s Sorry Now?” over and over and over.


"Never Say Anything Negative About Anyone" – The Wicked Love that Line


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  1. wingingit

    I can not tell you how many shocked christians have rebuked me for saying that the man who abused (continues to use the court system to abuse) my children and me is an ENEMY of God.
    I have said, “God does not love this man and call him son.”
    This man actively seeks ways to do harm to innocent people. When his judgement day comes, he will be chained to a wall in hell, next to his father and grandfather, who were evil abusers, too.
    There will be no accepting some excuse about his bad childhood or how he was a wounded man.
    No! He has an evil heart because he has the same choices we all have, to humble himself, confess his sins, repent, and be a new man.
    Yet, he chooses his father, the devil, every single time.
    Abusers are followers of Satan and as such, will have the “blessings” of their father, Satan, for eternity.
    Christians have to stop believing in potential and start seeing reality and call things what they are, or be complicit as abusers before Father God.

    • Jeff Crippen

      And yet they tell us such wicked ones are actually children of God. This is willful blindness, a blatant denial of God’s Word. Thank you!!!

    • M Bursha

      Thank you for speaking this truth. After over 12 years I am still struggling to see the reality of my children’s father. I escaped the mairrage after 10 years, but he still sucks me in with his lies.

      • Jeff Crippen

        M – these kind are smooth liars. I assume if they are talking, they are lying.

  2. Rae

    What about those marriage counselors who think they are going to change the abuser by continual meetings and praying for the marriage to work out? Gag! A godly counselor would handover the abuser to Satan. Speak truth to the victim. Speak truth to the abuser.. that his deeds are evil and God hates wicked people. I’m sickened by men who hide behind a clock of deception.. keep pregnanting his wive to keep her under his evil control. Righteous anger? More every day as I read the truth.

  3. Innoscent

    Such arrogant and deceived pastors are misleading a lot of people. So sad… God will hold them accountable for imposing their ‘cheap grace’ and ‘positive thinking’ propaganda, that is more like magic than sound Bible-based truth.
    I tried so hard to demonstrate that my then-husband was an abuser, hence not converted, not a Christian, with no avail. He’d come from a ‘Christian’ family, well-established in the local congregation, serving in various offices and praised by men. Who was I, the outsider, to change the order of things and get them to review their doctrines, use their discernment and to challenge appearances?
    Even the prophet Samuel needed a lesson (when directed to anoint a new king to replace wicked Saul):
    “But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” 1 Sam 16:7.
    “Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance, and begin not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to [our] father [..]” Luke 3:8

  4. walkinginlight

    I am hated by my extended (wicked) family for being the truth teller. I hunger and thirst for righteousness and that makes me the “scapegoat”. So be it. I would much rather please my Master and Savior then “easy believe ism” pseudo Christians.

    • Innoscent

      May God give you strength and wisdom Walkinginlight as you stand for His Truth. You are an encouragement to me. I’m in the same boat. The odd one out in the family.

  5. walkinginlight

    Dear Innoscent,
    I thank the Lord that I can be a encouragement to someone right now. As much as it hurts our hearts to scapegoated by our own blood relatives, it will be worth more then all the world’s gold to hear our Lord and Savior tell us us well done my good and faithful servant. I pray this for you:
    Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength;
    They will mount up with wings like eagles,
    They will run and not get tired,
    They will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:31

  6. Janis

    This is so accurate. It gives people the sense of security because they’ve been randomly declared Christians.

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