Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen Page 55 of 89

The Domestic Abuser is Actually a Kidnapper and the Lord Will Treat him as Such

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On October 28, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

Exodus 21:16 ESV  “Whoever steals a man and sells him, and anyone found in possession of him, shall be put to death.
Deuteronomy 24:7 ESV  “If a man is found stealing one of his brothers of the people of Israel, and if he treats him as a slave or sells him, then that thief shall die. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.
1 Timothy 1:9-10 ESV  understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers,  (10)  the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine,

One of our commenters recently compared the domestic abuser to a kidnapper and an abuser-driven marriage “legalized kidnapping.” This is quite accurate. And if you want to know what God thinks about kidnappers, well, just read the verses above.
Here is the irony. Churches that preach “freedom in Christ,” end up supporting legalized kidnapping when they ally with an abuser and oppress the victim. They turn a blind eye to the fact that the abuser has enslaved his target, expends all kinds of energies and devices to keep her in that bondage, and in divorce court proceedings demands a ransom be paid for her freedom.
This is worth thinking about seriously. What will the Lord do, not only with the kidnapper, but with those who are his allies? I think we can have a pretty good idea.
 

Even the Best Bible Teachers Get it Wrong Sometimes

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On October 26, 2020

In Churches/Church Response, False Teaching

J.C. Ryle is one of my favorite Bible commentators. If you are following our Wednesday morning Bible studies which we livestream on the Christ Reformation Church page (and publish on youtube and sermondaudio.com/crc) you have heard me quote Ryle many times. His set of commentaries on the Gospels is excellent.
But…

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A Primary Handbook for Understanding Churches that Abuse

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On October 21, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

Galatians 4:17 ESV  They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them.

I am convinced that the most pertinent book in the Bible when it comes to dealing with churches and church leaders that abuse the abused is Paul’s letter to the Galatians. This letter ought to be a primary study textbook for us. Here we learn what God thinks of these people, identifies who they are and the tactics they use.

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A Short Post Consisting of Just one Question

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On October 19, 2020

In Churches/Church Response, Counseling

I have one question for pastors, counselors, and anyone else who wants to “counsel” a domestic abuse victim. Actually I have several questions such as “can you tell me what domestic abuse is?” Or, “Tell me how a domestic abuse case differs from other types of marriage counseling cases.”
But here is the one I have in mind right now. It’s really a request:

Please write out a list for me of the books that you have read on the subject of domestic abuse, particularly domestic abuse by people who claim to be Christians. And then tell me what you learned.

Guess what? I know the answer.  Crickets. With very, very rare exceptions they haven’t read anything written by people who really understand this evil, but worse – they still insist that they are “competent to counsel.”
I guess a followup question as I held their blank list in my hand would be, then don’t you think it would be wise to stop telling victims what to do until you know what you are talking about? 
But they won’t. They won’t listen. They will just keep right on practicing medicine without ever going to med school or being an intern.

Evil People Lie – They are of their father, the Chief of Liars

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On October 14, 2020

In Abusers

John 8:44 ESV  You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

When we learn about the mentality and tactics of domestic abusers, sociopaths, narcissists and all that entire company of wicked ones, we see that in so many (and I suppose we could even say “all”) of their methods, lying is at the root of the thing. Deception. Slander. Reviling. Crazy-making. Accusing. All of it is based upon this one fundamental evil – lying.
You notice in the Scripture above why this is the case. The devil is not only a liar, he is the father of lies. He is the originator of lying. And he spawns lying offspring. If the devil’s mouth is open, he is lying. And so it is with his sons and daughters.

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An Update on our Friend Mack

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On October 12, 2020

In Blog News

This update was written by Mack’s wife, Rite. Mack and Rite have been faithful members of our church for over 27 years and have stood firmly together with us through many trials. As most of you know, Mack was in the hospital for four months and there were times he was not expected to live. But all of you and many others were praying:
Tomorrow it will be 2 weeks since Mack had his J- tube (feeding tube) replaced by Dr Worth.
The appointment went well! Dr Worth was amazed at how good Mack looked! Dr Worth said the last CT scan his cyst was the size of a softball. This time it is the size of a golf ball! 😊 As the debris drains into his stomach and is removed from his body, it can cause nausea and vomiting. So that is the reason he has suffered from it. We are so thankful it is shrinking!
–  Mack had 2 stitches to hold the J- tube down. It was very painful around the area and slowed physical therapy. Now that the stitches have been removed he is feeling much better!
– Mack has been able to eat a tablespoon of yogurt or jello on some days! And drink a little juice 😊 without throwing up! So grateful😊❣️
-Physical therapy should resume at a faster pace now. No more pain!! He is getting stronger every day!
We praise God for all His answered prayers, and all His blessings through this time❤️
And, we are thankful for everyone who has helped us through these times – physically, emotionally, and through your coveted prayers❣️We are so grateful to each one-off you ❤️
Love, in Christ
Mack and Rite

Lessons from Laodicea

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On October 12, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

Compare these two churches –
1. Laodicea

Revelation 3:14-17, “And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: ‘The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s creation. (15) “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! (16) So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. (17) For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.”

2.  Smyrna:

Revelation 2:8-10, “And to the angel of the church in Smyrna write: ‘The words of the first and the last, who died and came to life. (9) “‘I know your tribulation and your poverty (but you are rich) and the slander of those who say that they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. (10) Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.”

Things are rarely as they seem to be.  By all outward appearances, the Laodicean church had God’s blessing upon it.   Just look at all of its finery.  They probably were well thought of in their community.  They didn’t upset anyone.  They stuck to a definite middle-of-the-road Christianity.  And Smyrna?  Well, those people had a problem.  They weren’t growing in size or finances.  They were hated not only by their community, but especially by the other “faith communities” in their town. They were radical and stirred up trouble.  They brought all of their troubles upon themselves.  Outward appearances, you see.

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What "Do Not Think Too Highly of Yourself" does NOT Mean

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On October 7, 2020

In Biblical Teaching

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3-8)

Satan and his reps are very adept at twisting God’s Word. This Scripture has been a favorite target for such abuse. Victims of evil have been taught, told, commanded, instructed… that God wants them to continue being abused. This twisted evil insanity goes something like this:

  • You are selfish and you are conceited
  • You need to humble yourself
  • You need to focus on others, including your abuser, and consider them more important than yourself
  • You need to be like Jesus and even die if necessary

Reporting abuse, desiring to be free of abuse, and exposing the wicked is not selfish! It is not arrogance! Confronting evil is NOT self-serving. If it were, then Jesus, the apostles, and the prophets would be guilty of selfish arrogance. They all confronted evil. The Christian, Paul is saying here, is to love his brothers and sisters in Christ. We are to consider their needs more than selfishly and pridefully demanding first place for ourselves. In other words, when it comes to abuse cases, this Scripture is calling upon Christ’s people to stop being cowards, to quit focusing on the consequences for themselves if they stand with the victim against the abuser, and to consider the protection and deliverance of the victim as first priority. All of this, of course, assumes that it is a godly and right goal to bring justice to bear upon the wicked and deliverance for the oppressed.
Abuse victims are not guilty of selfish arrogance when they call out for deliverance. If they are, then the fact is that the following Scripture is an example of that selfish arrogance:

Be not silent, O God of my praise! For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues. They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause. In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer. So they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love. Appoint a wicked man against him; let an accuser stand at his right hand. When he is tried, let him come forth guilty; let his prayer be counted as sin! May his days be few; may another take his office! (Psalm 109:1-8)

So look out for this trap. Don’t let anyone twist Philippians 2 and convince you that seeking deliverance from and justice against your oppressor is to be guilty of selfish arrogance. It is quite the opposite.

Watch out for Flattery

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On October 5, 2020

In Abusers

Galatians 4:16-18 ESV  Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?  (17)  They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them.  (18)  It is always good to be made much of for a good purpose, and not only when I am present with you,

As I have written before on this topic, I won’t write at great length here. But this subject deserves repetition and reminder. The wicked use flattery to dupe us. That is what Paul is warning the Galatians about here. They make much of you. But it is for an evil purpose, not a good one.

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The Lord Knows Who are His Own – and Who are Not

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On September 30, 2020

In Biblical Teaching

2 Timothy 2:19 ESV  But God’s firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.”

There are two great consolations for us in this text. First, that the Lord knows who are His sheep. Second, that His flock consists of those who depart from iniquity. They do not walk in sin. They are new creations. This is consolation for us because it seems so often that there is such a mixture of tares among the wheat that sorting them out may appear impossible.

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