Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

When Family Forsakes Us

Jeremiah 12:6 ESV  For even your brothers and the house of your father, even they have dealt treacherously with you; they are in full cry after you; do not believe them, though they speak friendly words to you.”

I have begun a new sermon series on the book of Jeremiah. You can find the sermons (just one so far) on here at sermonaudio.com/crc, youtube channel Unholy Charade (here is a link to the first sermon), and on the Christ Reformation Church Facebook page.
Jeremiah understood by hard experience what the cost of following Christ is. And one of the prices he paid was that of being hated by his family and close friends.

Jeremiah 20:10 ESV  For I hear many whispering. Terror is on every side! “Denounce him! Let us denounce him!” say all my close friends, watching for my fall. “Perhaps he will be deceived; then we can overcome him and take our revenge on him.”

When Christ tells us that following Him will often require “hating father and mother,” this is the kind of thing He had in mind. Many times parents refuse to walk the narrow way with their children. Truth is too bright of a light for them, and yet we must resolve to go anyway.
Add to the formula the deceptions of the wicked. Those of you who have been targeted by a domestic abuser, a sociopath,  a narcissist – know that the lies such evil ones spread cause division. People close to us typically choose to believe the lies because they are more comfortable to embrace than the truth. They are not wise about evil – and really, they do not want to be.
So we can identify with Jeremiah. And we can also be encouraged by the same promises the Lord made to him:

Jeremiah 1:8 ESV  Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the LORD.”


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  1. BeenThereDoneThatTwice

    I’m so very pleased to see you still supporting the world of abused believers. I remain thrilled, as well, that I had a chance to listen to you in person a few years back in the Lancaster, PA area.
    I continue with my weekly Christian counseling session that has gone on now for 10 years. I’m with my third counselor (The other two moved away and I had quite an emotional hit each time) and I’m very pleased that rather than drop me when I turned 65 she agreed to still see me weekly for the amount of the co-pay I had before turning 65. But I know that there are still issues and it’s very frustrating. And I think she sees that I’m a perhaps stronger case because of all the years that I lived with him thinking I was being a good Christian wife.
    I am trying very hard to move forward emotionally. But even opening up a box last night that has the pertinent legal and email communications regarding the divorce 20 years ago started either a panic attack or it was an episode of PTSD. The box had been in the basement but I had to let my attention go to the box to look for the letter from the church I was attending at the time where the board basically gave me a biblical divorce. My Christian counseling agency was shocked at the time because they said no one ever got a biblical divorce from that conservative nondenominational church. I realized that my current counselor has not read it and she should.
    But thank you for doing the steps of getting you on YouTube because I’m looking forward to listening to the sermons and I appreciate your emails that come out that are supportive. I’m not sure at the moment if there is a Christian man who knows at least generally about abuse in a Christian home that supports me. there are many acquaintances at the large somewhat conservative episcopal church where I have been attending for three years, but if I ever got down to the nitty-gritty and they were truthful, I’m sure I would hear what I’ve heard before and it would damage me.
    So thank you for your presence. I’m so thankful that beyond writing that you are a man of God and preach the word and yet you are still a friend to those of us who are still suffering.
    (Commenter’s name removed for safety.)

  2. Sue

    Yep, another terrific Scripture…another one that doesn’t get preached much. Funny how that happens, huh ;/

  3. walkinginlight

    One of the most painful emotions to ever experience (besides the loss of a child) is when blood relatives who one is close with TURN on you. The raw pain is indescribable. Broken heart syndrome is real. A cardiologist explained it to me, and yes people have died from it. A actual broken heart. This nearly happened to me a few years ago. Two family members whom I have loved all of my life turned against me as they did not want me to receive what my uncle left for me in his will. Their behavior blindsided me as all my life they never showed me they felt that way about me.
    Psalm 109: 2-5 They have spoken against me with a lying tongue.
    They have also surrounded me with words of hatred, and fought
    against me without cause.
    In return for my love they act as my accusers; But I am in prayer.
    Thus they have repaid me evil for good and hatred for my my love.
    Jesus did tell us that in the end days that family would be your worst enemies, but oh the pain of it!
    The Lord has since healed my heart from this devastation and strengthened me to which I am so grateful. Regarding their evil behavior, the Lord reminded me of this scripture.
    Hebrews 13:13 So, let us go out to Him outside the camp, bearing His reproach.

    • frankiesmith2064

      Dear Walking In The Light,
      Thank you for sharing the verse- let us go outside the camp and bear his reproach. I stumbled upon this as I was contemplating how alone I feel in the midst of fake, little to no real fruit, professing Christians. If feeling isolated and having to stand alone is a hallmark of a true Christian then I am proud of my unfortunate solitude. Thank you for posting this verse. I’ve felt the reproach and can commensurate with you .

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