Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen Page 61 of 88

**A Surprising Ally of the Abuser

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On March 18, 2020

In Abusers

Acts 5:1-2  But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property,  (2)  and with his wife’s knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

We don’t know much about Ananias. Certainly we cannot say if he was a sociopath or the typical kind of abuser that we deal with. We do know that his sin was great and that he was a liar and hypocrite. But what I want us to consider here is his wife, Sapphira. “with his wife’s knowledge….”. 

Acts 5:8-9  And Peter said to her, “Tell me whether you sold the land for so much.” And she said, “Yes, for so much.”  (9)  But Peter said to her, “How is it that you have agreed together to test the Spirit of the Lord? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out.”

Over the years on numerous occassions, I have had to deal with wives who chose to take part in their husband’s evil. I think that in some of those cases the husband was an abuser, but in all of these situations I am thinking of, the wife chose to join with her wicked husband in his sin. 

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**A Sure Sign of a Bully or Abuser: the Gnashing of Teeth

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On March 16, 2020

In Abusers

Now when they heard these things they were enraged,
and they ground their teeth at him. (Acts 7:54)

Recently I was reminded still once more of how the wicked react when their evil is exposed and they are called to account. The fangs come out. The bullying begins. They are like vicious, wild animals snapping at their prey. In this account here in Acts 7, Stephen has just confronted the Jews with their sins:

You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you. Which of the prophets did your fathers not persecute? And they killed those who announced beforehand the coming of the Righteous One, whom you have now betrayed and murdered. (Acts 7:51-52)

It sets them off like a pack of wolves and of course as we know, they murdered Stephen right there.
My recent experience with this sort was in regard to pastors who were rightly confronted with wickedness and spiritual abuse. They added to the oppression of victims and now it has come out. The response? Fangs. Gnashing of teeth. Direct assault against those exposing them. Vilification and reviling, demeaning and accusing. Of course they do all this in the name of “righteousness,” but they are anything but righteous. “Who are YOU to tell ME?” “How DARE you speak to me this way.” “You don’t know anything and I do.” “YOU are the guilty one here for slandering and gossiping.” See it? Fangs. Gnashing. It is characteristic of the wicked who are enraged when they are exposed. No hint of anything resembling repentance.

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Reminder: You can be part of Christ Reformation Church online

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On March 13, 2020

In Blog News

Amid all the buzz about the corona virus, school closures, limits on the size of public gatherings, quarantines, etc., I wanted to remind you all that every Sunday we stream and post the Sunday School Class and the Worship Service of Christ Reformation Church here in Tillamook. No need to close down! Guaranteed virus free!
We livestream on Facebook at the Christ Reformation Church fb page, beginning about 9:30AM.  The worship service livestreams, starting about 10:55AM (“about,” – hey, we are informal here). The entire service is streamed. Sometimes glitches occur if the wifi is tempermental but as soon as we see any break we restart it. Facebook saves the broadcast too and it can be viewed later at any time.
Also, you can go to the Light for Dark Times blog (lightfordarktimes.com) and every Sunday morning the order of service for the worship service is posted there as a blog post. Links to hymns are included. Numbers of people utilize this and CRC has become their church.
We put the video of the sermon on sermonaudio.com and on our Unholy Charade youtube channel. Those sites are posted generally by Sunday evening though on occasion upload speeds are slow and the post isn’t available until Monday morning.
We are very pleased that we can provide these broadcasts and along with the Unholy Charade blog where you can comment, ask questions, and generally interact with other believers, most all of whom have been through the very same experiences of domestic and spiritual abuse.
Someone asked me once if this format is not in fact “forsaking the assembling of the saints” (see Hebrews 10). My response is, you don’t have to be physically together in order to gather together in this day and age of the web. Furthermore, the fact is that going to a local church on the street corner does not mean that you are gathering together with the saints necessarily.  To gather together with the saints requires that there be real believers there!
All of this is by way of reminder. Many blessings to you all in Christ,
Jeff

**Most of You Have Seen Letters Like this

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On March 11, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

The following is a transcription of a hand-written letter received by one of our blog followers, an abuse survivor. Abused by her abuser and, so typical, by her church as well. The letter was anonymous except of course to claim it is from a fellow Christian “who loves” the victim and her family, including her abuser. I will refer to the letter-writer as “her” because the writing looks to be by a female hand. Here you go. Note it is addressed to the victim AND the abuser. After all, you know, marriage “troubles” are ALWAYS 50-50 shared blame. (I have bold-faced terms in the letter which the writer underlined) –

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The Wicked Recruit False Witnesses Against the Righteous

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On March 9, 2020

In Abusers

Matthew 26:59-61  Now the chief priests and the whole council were seeking false testimony against Jesus that they might put him to death,  (60)  but they found none, though many false witnesses came forward. At last two came forward  (61)  and said, “This man said, ‘I am able to destroy the temple of God, and to rebuild it in three days.’”

As we continue to grow wiser and wiser regarding the motives and tactics of evil, we become better able to spot Scriptures which reveal these things to us. Here is still another such passage. Wicked people, and that includes domestic abusers and others who crave power and control, frequently use this weapon of false witnesses.
Here we have the Jewish leaders who hated Jesus with a murderous hatred, craving to find some reason to kill him. They were having a hard time doing so and therefore they chose to invent charges by looking for people who were willing to falsely accuse Jesus. What motivated false witnesses? Probably bribes. More Judas money. Many people stepped up for the cash, but their accusations didn’t hold up. How many times have we seen these very same scenes in our own day!

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**My experience with abuser-enabling misogyny in the church

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On March 4, 2020

In Churches/Church Response

To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)
So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, (Proverbs 2:16)
And as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, he took for his wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and went and served Baal and worshiped him. (1Kings 16:31)

God’s Word in Holy Scripture is pure, right, life-giving, and true. Whenever and wherever scripture is cited to support evil, we can be sure that its real teaching has been distorted. Verses such as the ones quoted above have been very frequently twisted to misrepresent the fundamental nature of women and I want to tell you how I (and most all of you) have personally seen these distortions played out among Christians.

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Coming to Grips with Lying

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On March 2, 2020

In Abusers

You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44)

This is a central verse in helping us understand the mentality and tactics of evil. It can be a hard truth to get hold of even if we know it in our brain factually, the thing just seems so foreign to us. Evil people lie. And they can lie with a face on that looks like someone who is telling the truth. Evil people in other words, wear a truth mask.

“But I’m sure he is telling the truth. He seems so sincere.”

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A Picture Really Does Say 1,000 Words

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On February 26, 2020

In Getting Free

This drawing was made by a young lady who has been growing wise to the evil that was committed against her when she was a little girl. She has realized that the little girl in her was so afraid that she pushed the memory of these things down and out of sight. But now she has grown older and wiser and courageous and is facing up to evil.  I find the picture to be very powerful and she hopes that it will be a help to many of you too:   “It’s ok, we’re safe now.”

A New Book on Evil is Coming Soon

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On February 24, 2020

In Blog News

This is the preface to a new book we plan to publish soon. Its title is Wise as Serpents: Wising up to the Evil Among Us.  It is based on the sermon series of that title that I delivered at Christ Reformation Church a few years back.  It will relate directly to domestic abuse hiding in the church, but here I am trying to deal more broadly with evildoers in wool of all kinds. Really, they are very much the same.
It looks like the book will be about 300 pages or so. A friend whose family has survived intense abuse has already painted a great picture for the cover and I have invited another survivor to write the foreward. I hope this is going to be another very helpful tool to expose evil and to help victims of evil get free.

Preface

And if the bugle gives an indistinct sound, who will get ready for battle? (1 Corinthians 14:8)

Our Lord’s words to us as His people are encouraging, convicting, chastening, and certain. And yet they are more. They are living, powerful, absolute truth that is the Word of God. And as such, they are not spoken to us as some kind of optional suggestion for us to take or leave. They are always commandments which are to be believed and obeyed.
Therefore, when the Lord Jesus Christ said this:

Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Beware of men…(Matthew 10:16-17a)

…He was not offering advice that would be good to heed. His Word is our command. Our Lord was telling us, and continues to tell us, that we are to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves because He has sent us out in the midst of wolves who serve that old malignant enemy of our souls.
And yet we see in our day so many who profess to be soldiers of the cross (most find that title objectionable nowadays) asleep and negligent as the battle rages. The result? The enemy is among us. Not just “out there” in the world, but among us within the walls of our local churches and even sadly often in the pulpits of those churches. These kind of troops are willfully disobeying our Lord General’s commands. They have not trained. They do not know the enemy. They are ignorant of his devices all the while claiming that they are not. Their armor is not the armor of God but some imitation made of styrofoam which cannot stop a toothpick.
This book is a call to arms. It is intended to be a bugle sounded with distinct, clear notes that cannot be misunderstood. In it I reject the foggy, equivocating, meaningless notes that are a plague to the church, which call no one to battle, and which fail at every turn to expose the enemy and his schemes.
If I succeed in this clarity, we will hear the voice of Korah shouting “you have gone too far!” (See Numbers 16). But it is my intent to “go too far,” at least too far in the opinion of so many who preach and confess with such unclear tones that the church remains asleep when the enemy is attacking.
You will find as you read that I quote Scripture often and at length. I want you all to see for yourself that God’s Word teaches us about evil on almost every page and that my exhortations to you to become wise as serpents about evil are not of my own manufacture.
Being wise as serpents about evil does not mean becoming a serpent. After all, Jesus added, “innocent as doves.” No, this wisdom entails being as wise as the devil ABOUT evil and its schemes. It means being able to recognize evil as it comes to us in its darling disguises of light. It means knowing that the servants of Satan are liars and murderers just like their diabolical father.
It is my prayer and hope that, as Paul prayed, the eyes of your hearts will be enlightened as you read, that you will repent where you need to repent and that you will be emboldened to get in the battle, defeat the enemy, and set captives free.
 

**Abuse as Cruelty – Willful and Intentional Infliction of Pain and Suffering

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On February 19, 2020

In Abusers

Exo 1:13-14 So they ruthlessly made the people of Israel work as slaves and made their lives bitter with hard service, in mortar and brick, and in all kinds of work in the field. In all their work they ruthlessly made them work as slaves.
Exo 5:6-9 The same day Pharaoh commanded the taskmasters of the people and their foremen, “You shall no longer give the people straw to make bricks, as in the past; let them go and gather straw for themselves. But the number of bricks that they made in the past you shall impose on them, you shall by no means reduce it, for they are idle. Therefore they cry, ‘Let us go and offer sacrifice to our God.’ Let heavier work be laid on the men that they may labor at it and pay no regard to lying words.”

Abusers are cruel, just as Pharaoh was cruel to the Israelites. Cruelty is a topic that deserves some serious thought because it helps us see even more clearly just how wicked the abuser is. Cruelty hurts another person (or a pet, like a puppy), but is of a particularly evil genre of hurting. Cruelty suits the mentality and character of an abuser because cruelty is exercised by someone who has power over another. Like Pharaoh’s power over the enslaved Israelites, or a wicked man’s boot kicking a little dog. Cruelty is the infliction of pain and suffering by a person with power, willfully and intentionally, without regard for the suffering of the victim. Cruelty (Cruella Deville and the Dalmatian puppies). And, as Cruella’s wicked smile demonstrates, cruelty enjoys it all.

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