Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Coming to Grips with Lying

You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44)

This is a central verse in helping us understand the mentality and tactics of evil. It can be a hard truth to get hold of even if we know it in our brain factually, the thing just seems so foreign to us. Evil people lie. And they can lie with a face on that looks like someone who is telling the truth. Evil people in other words, wear a truth mask.

“But I’m sure he is telling the truth. He seems so sincere.”

Sorry. When it comes to the children of the devil, appearances mean nothing.
Recently I have been reading up on the Joe Biden family. The material I have been looking at is fully documented with many witnesses and physical evidence attesting to it. It has to be or the authors of these things and the people who are publicly making statements about it all would have been sued for libel and slander a long time ago. But it’s true. The Biden family has been leveraging Joe’s political office for decades in order to make millions of dollars. (He is a U.S. Senator by the way and was Obaman’s VP, and as you know he is running for President. Fortunately his campaign is imploding).
Now, I am not trying to lay politicis on you here. I am just using Joe Biden as an example. Here is a guy who is essentially the head of his own organized crime syndicate, who looks into cameras every day and convinces people that he knows nothing about these corruptions. He looks right at you and you hear people saying quite often – “Joe is one of the nicest men I know.”
And there are these Joes all around us. People who look squarely at you and tell you things and give no hint that they are speaking absolute lies. This is evil in action and we must be wise to it.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
(Matthew 23:27-28)



A Picture Really Does Say 1,000 Words


**My experience with abuser-enabling misogyny in the church


  1. no one down here

    This right here is the thing. This is what causes so much trouble. So, when you are the ONLY person calling out the lies… and you can even have proof… fuzzy proof, solid proof, black and white proof, proof written down, proof from his own words… but yet, when someone goes and confronts the person… and HE LIES…. again. and the lie is so good, and he is so sincere, and there are no screaming clues in body language or facial expression or any other common tip-offs that it is a lie… and he’s a nice guy. and he spouts Scripture with the best of them. Better than the best, actually… And he gives devotionals that bless all the people and he prays so well, people compliment him on his prayers…
    he is believed. Surely, THIS man does not lie.
    You feel as though you are in an alternate reality. But there it is – the facts – staring you in the face, and you KNOW he lies. He lied yesterday. He lied two years ago. He lied 15 years ago. He lied 20 years ago. He has lied every day in between all those times. He will lie today. He will lie tomorrow.
    There is no explanation other than, he is of his Father the devil.
    These six things the Lord hates … yea, seven are an abomination to him:
    a proud look
    a lying tongue
    hands that shed innocent blood
    heart that devises wicked imaginings
    feet that run to mischief
    a false witness that speaks lies
    he that plants discord among brethren
    Deceit being listed twice among those seven abominations.

    • Jeff Crippen

      No one – you do not exaggerate the case. Every time their mouth is open they are lying. We can safely assume this and we will make wise decisions.

  2. A much needed post. Thank you.
    I’m still “coming to grips with lying”.

  3. suzzieq07

    So interesting you picked Joe Biden as an example. Evil con artists can appear so.. “nice.” I have a “soft spot” for Joe myself. His “people” sent flowers to the funeral of my daughter-in-law’s father when he passed away about 11 years ago. (Her dad had been in low-level Wilmington DE politics at some point.) Thankfully, my daughter-in-law,and her mother, and most of her family are well aware of the way liars attempt to take you in, but her family is not swayed by their tactics. The “sincere” face is difficult to read; just watch their actions closely…that’s what will reveal their nature much more accurately.

  4. sweethonesty7

    I use to think you could tell if someone was lying by body language such as they turn away or look down, etc…, but that is not true. I also believed if they could look me in the eyes they were telling the truth. No so. I found out the latter by asking my abuser a question I already knew the answer to, but one he would think I would have no way of knowing. I asked the question–he looked me straight in my eyes with an amazing gentle, ‘innocent’ expression and lied as sweetly as a songbird in the quiet of early morning.
    The lies he told were countless and of great variety. Example: He had me prepare a dish for a company (the office was in a *dangerous* part of the city) potluck lunch he KNEW no one would like, because they don’t eat that kind of food where we lived, something I didn’t know at the time. He WANTED to humiliate me. One of so, so many lies to make me expend my energy on things he knew weren’t wanted or needed.
    He lied to everyone, including the Pastor and all his church buddies, about why he got fired from several jobs. He PRACTICED what to say—I overheard him—he had no idea I was in the room next to where he would practice his LIE to sell like a favored soda and hot pretzel at the ballpark!

  5. SweetHonesty7

    Lying by abusers:
    1.) Totally false information.
    2.) Omitted information that changes the appearance of true information.
    3.) Re-writing history.
    4.) Using vague terms to describe abominable behavior. (Soothes their conscience–they have ‘admitted’ their sin).
    5.) Not answering your questions at all.

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