Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

A Picture Really Does Say 1,000 Words

This drawing was made by a young lady who has been growing wise to the evil that was committed against her when she was a little girl. She has realized that the little girl in her was so afraid that she pushed the memory of these things down and out of sight. But now she has grown older and wiser and courageous and is facing up to evil.  I find the picture to be very powerful and she hopes that it will be a help to many of you too:   “It’s ok, we’re safe now.”


A New Book on Evil is Coming Soon


Coming to Grips with Lying


  1. suzzieq07

    It’s just beautiful. It IS worth a 1,000 Words! Thank you for it.

  2. cindy burrell

    That is a powerful picture! It hurts my heart to recall what my own children endured.
    No child should ever have to grow up in an abusive home, especially when they are led to believe that they are living in a Christian home.
    And I shudder when people say that children are resilient. Children feel pain just as intensely as anyone, and perhaps more so. Allowing an abuser to reign sends the message that abuse is somehow normal, that their home is never really safe. Conversely, removing children from such ungodly homes makes it clear that abuse is not to be tolerated. Along with faith, love and respect should be of paramount importance.
    I finally rescued my own children, but I sure wish I had done it many years earlier…

  3. Z

    This heartbreaking but tender picture depicts so well one of the strategies adult victims of childhood abuse, who now likely have PTSD with its “emotional flashbacks” (reliving the terror and unsafe feelings as though the abuse is happening now) are taught to use to get out of the flashback and back to present day reality. The adult victim telling younger herself-as she is feeling like that abused, unsafe, terrified child again-that she is SAFE NOW. Speaking compassionately to her “terrified child self” and assuring her that the abuser can no longer harm her.
    Emotional flashbacks are horrifying and bring on panic and anxiety attacks often. They FEEL REAL. Mentally and physically.
    This is the “legacy” adult victims of childhood abuse are left with.
    There are other “grounding techniques” that can be learned that are meant to bring the person experiencing the terror flashbacks into her present reality and safety. It’s hard work to overcome the broken places. The memories and nightmares don’t just go away. It takes practice and time.
    And, praise God, we have👆🏽Jesus to walk by our sides every moment to provide our assurance of safety in His arms.
    God bless the artist of that picture. So perfectly expressed.

  4. I Woke Up

    Thank you for painting this, and thank you for sharing it. I know exactly how it feels.

  5. Cara

    Although it’s a nice-sounding message, the reality is often times much different. The abuse rarely stops with leaving. It changes form. Stalking, smear campaigns, burglaries, intimidation, using the kids as pawns. Leveraging the mothers’ love for the kids in court battles. Using the kids to hurt the mom more. The stat was approximately 75 percent, as for the chance of a batterer getting full custody when he chooses to fight for it, despite the court knowing he is a batterer.
    People think domestic violence is so simple, that the woman just needs to leave already and the abuse will end, but it’s not that simple, and it rarely ends the abuse.
    Perhaps if people were forced to see that leaving doesn’t stop the abuse, they’d not be so judgmental and contemptuous with their exasperated, “why doesn’t she leave?” They’d stop asking such a condemning question if they knew the abuse doesn’t stop and the most lethal time, the most dangerous time, is when the woman does leave, or is about to leave. The chance of her being murdered jumps exponentially when she attempts to leave him and it stays high for the first three years. Some women have been stalked and then murdered nearly 10 years after they left the abuser.
    Leaving doesn’t equal safety, however, staying with an abuser does ensure further abuse. Most women regret not leaving earlier but that they left at all is incredible, given how batterers want their victims entrapped, enslaved, and captives unable to escape.
    Ultimately, it may turn lethal when attempting to leave the abuser, but it’s better to fight for freedom, to attempt escape, than to continue living as an abuser’s prey. Isn’t there a slogan to the effect of “give me liberty or give me death”?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *