Acts 5:1-2 But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, (2) and with his wife’s knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles’ feet.
We don’t know much about Ananias. Certainly we cannot say if he was a sociopath or the typical kind of abuser that we deal with. We do know that his sin was great and that he was a liar and hypocrite. But what I want us to consider here is his wife, Sapphira. “with his wife’s knowledge….”.
Acts 5:8-9 And Peter said to her, “Tell me whether you sold the land for so much.” And she said, “Yes, for so much.” (9) But Peter said to her, “How is it that you have agreed together to test the Spirit of the Lord? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out.”
Over the years on numerous occassions, I have had to deal with wives who chose to take part in their husband’s evil. I think that in some of those cases the husband was an abuser, but in all of these situations I am thinking of, the wife chose to join with her wicked husband in his sin.
Now, in addressing this subject we want to take care that we don’t falsely guilt victims. I am not talking about being in the abuser’s fog and being deceived for some time by him. Nor am I speaking here of a victim who for one of many understandable reasons either took a long time to leave or who perhaps has not been able to leave yet. Understood.
No, the people I am talking about here are spouses (all women in the cases I have experienced, though this certainly could apply to a husband as well)…are spouses who knowingly and willfully choose the side of the wicked reviler, abuser, sociopath, etc. Like Sapphira. And then they actively ally with their spouse against his targets. Even though they themselves have been and probably still are subjected to their evil husband’s wickedness, nevertheless they ally with him. They defend him and participate with him. For example:
- My husband is a good husband, no matter what you say
- My husband is my hero
- How dare you imply that about my husband
And then there are all kinds of non-verbal ways such women ally with their evil spouse:
- Refuse to leave the marriage because of the financial or other rewards they are reaping from it
- Cover for his religious hypocrisy and even participate in it
- Keep his secrets
In other words, when confronted with this:
Joshua 24:15 And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”
….these wives choose the false god. They choose the wicked man.
One of the most typical of these kinds of women is the pastor’s wife who covers for her husband who is a wolf in wool. She knows what he is, but for personal benefit she will not expose him. In so doing, she chooses against his victims and parodies his wicked teaching and counsel to them.
These women do exist. And sometimes men are in this role as well. The ones I have known, as I said, have been women. And in the end they fully participated in their husband’s evil. They are not to be considered victims. They are Sapphiras who willfully sin with full knowledge of what their wicked husband is. The Lord knows. The Lord sees.