Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Category: Supporting Victims Page 3 of 4

Never Go to a Meeting When the Purpose is Unknown to You

I have learned (the hard way) that one of the ways the wicked work their evil against the righteous is by setting a trap or snare. Jesus said, “beware of men.” And so we must. A typical way that the wicked set their traps is to ask their victim to…

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"She Just Wants to Take Him for all She Can" — Really?

As we know, abuse victims are regularly and roundly criticized (that’s putting it mildly) for leaving and/or filing for divorce from their abuser. One of the charges made against them is that “she just wants to take him for all she can in divorce court.” And, of course, abusers love…

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Call Evil Good: The Error of Couple Counseling for Abuse

Job 30:26 ESV  But when I hoped for good, evil came, and when I waited for light, darkness came. Psalms 52:3-4 ESV You love evil more than good, and lying more than speaking what is right. Selah You love all words that devour, O deceitful tongue. Couple’s counseling (and I…

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Some Examples of How People Become Allies of the Abuser

You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness. You shall not fall in with the many to do evil, nor shall you bear witness in a lawsuit, siding with the many, so as to pervert justice, nor…

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"Christian" Enabling of the Abuser Increases His Attacks on the Victim

Recently an abuse survivor made a very insightful comment. She said that she could always tell when her abuser (a professing Christian) was receiving support from a Christian. How? He stepped up the intensity of his abuse. She said that while non-Christian support for him would certainly encourage him in…

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Why do Christians insist that Abuse Victims Return to Egypt?

Right on through Scripture, any desire to return to bondage and slavery is treated as foolish and even sinful. And the people complained in the hearing of the LORD about their misfortunes, and when the LORD heard it, his anger was kindled, and the fire of the LORD burned among…

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Pastoral Care Has Its Limits and Must Allow for the Priesthood of the Believer+

One of the recurring themes we hear from Christians who are abuse victims/survivors is that when they went to their pastor or church for help, reporting the abuse, they were told that they must remain with their abuser or at most separate from him for a time, always working toward…

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The Abuse Victim as Widow

Exodus 22:22 You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. Deuteronomy 10:17-18 For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who is not partial and takes no bribe. (18) He executes justice for the fatherless and…

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Abuse and Anger: Is it a Sin to Be Angry Toward Our Abuser?

Ephesians 4:26-27 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, (27) and give no opportunity to the devil. We had a discussion once in a Bible study group about whether it is right or not for a Christian to ever be angry…

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Get Behind Me, Satan – The Times we Tell People to be Silent

Mat 16:22-23 And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, "Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you." (23) But he turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind…

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