Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Some Examples of How People Become Allies of the Abuser

You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness. You shall not fall in with the many to do evil, nor shall you bear witness in a lawsuit, siding with the many, so as to pervert justice, nor shall you be partial to a poor man in his lawsuit. (Exodus 23:1-3)

Christians would give hearty “Amens” to these verses from God’s Word. They would be in agreement about the seriousness of the evils described here and certainly would never want to be guilty of any of these evils.
And yet many of them are guilty.

Look at the verses again in light of these questions. Do abusers spread false reports about their victim? Yes. Do allies of the abuser help him spread those false reports? Yes. Simply by believing them if nothing else. Do allies of the abuser join hands with him to spread malicious talk about his victim? Yes. Do allies of the abuser “fall in with the many” by repeating the same old man-made traditions like a script that keep victims enslaved to abuse? Yes. In doing so, they participate in a perversion of justice.
See it? If people allow themselves to be duped by an abuser and won over to him as his ally, then they are guilty of participating with him in his evils. They join hands with him. They believe his lies and by doing so they become malicious witnesses.
You see the gravity of it all? Christians MUST be wise! If we aren’t, then we are going to participate in the evils perpetrated by evil people. And many times this means that we must stand alone, or with very few others, while the “many” stand with the abuser.
You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness. Many professing Christians are doing just that.


The Religion of the Pharisees (Part 2)


The Lord is Merciful and Gracious: but He Does Not Forgive His Enemies


  1. Stormy

    Thank you this is a great post!

  2. IrisJane

    It’s amazing how many do side with the abuser, and especially in my situation, even when they’ve been victims themselves! I wonder why the abuser gets a continual pass, when years of poisonous, blatantly-covert abuse has been their pattern, but the true victim gets marginalized, shunned, disparaged, and maligned, when they were the only ones actually trying to create a loving, happy, joyful home…and tell the truth. It sounds like an exaggeration, but it isn’t. I realize now that I was trying to grow and tend a beautiful garden in a swamp filled with vipers and crocodiles…tears and all. So many years and so much of my heart wasted.
    Thank you Pastor Crippen for giving validation and a voice to all who have suffered so. Praying blessings of strength, courage, and hope to everyone that is going through this or has gone through this, it’s such a difficult and lonely road…but the tide is turning!

  3. Sunnyside

    Thank you.

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