Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen Page 82 of 89

Abusers Love the Darkness rather than the Light

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On February 5, 2019

In Abusers

We don’t usually publish on Tuesday, but this little nugget of truth couldn’t wait. Abusers are secretive and enjoy keeping their targets “guessing” about what they (the abuser) are going to do or think or say in given situations.
Don Hennessy nails it when he says (emphasis mine),

He (the abuser) cannot allow you to influence him because he is terrified that you will gain access to his inner world.  He is reluctant to enter that world himself because he knows how dark it is, but he prefers the darkness rather than allowing you to shine light on it. (Don Hennessy, Steps to Freedom: Escaping Intimate Control*)

And Scripture confirms this truth:

John 3:16-19 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (17) For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. (18) Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. (19) And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.

 

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**Will Your Church Leaders Stand With You Against Your Abuser? 3 Ways to Know+13

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On February 4, 2019

In Churches/Church Response

With some regularity I hear from people who tell me that they are on board with this issue of domestic abusers hiding in the church. They are excited that their pastor has “really had his eyes opened” and is “promising to stand with abuse victims.” And I have heard the same from various well-known Christian counseling ministries.
I don’t believe most of them. And when I say so, let me tell you, I lose friends and I do not gain any popularity with the “happening” crowds in Christendom. They accuse me of being narrow and arrogant, as if “only I know anything.”
But the truth is, I do know that they still cannot be trusted to stand with victims of abuse. How do I know, you ask? I will tell you. Three things. There are just three things that you need to find out – and then you will know too. Ready? [If they fail at any ONE of these, they fail all]

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Abuse and the Doctrine of Headship & Submission Pt 2 – sermon by Ps Jeff Crippen

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On February 3, 2019

In Sermons

Abuse and the Doctrine of Headship & Submission Pt 2
Sermon 20 from the series:  The Psychology and Methods of Sin
A 21 sermon series on domestic violence and abuse
First given on December 12, 2010
Sermon Text: Ephesians 5

The Danvers Statement was prepared by several evangelical leaders at a Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood meeting in Danver, MA. in Dec of 1987. You can find it in the appendix of Wayne Grudem’s book Recovering Biblical Manoohood and Womanhood – A Response to Evangelical Feminism. Here are the first few of its affirmations-

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**Abuse and Christianity: Why the "Christian" Abuser is the Worst Kind+12

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On February 1, 2019

In Abusers

Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish everyone with tears. Acts 20:28-31 ESV

I think that Christians are faced with the worst kind of abuser — the “Christian” abuser.  The person who claims to be a Christian but who is nothing but a facade and who, in reality, is a power and control motivated, entitlement-thinking wolf in wool.  And it is important for us to realize this.  Not only are we often the most naive people when it comes to “getting it” about abuse, but we in the Christian church often have to face the most evil abusers.
Why do I suggest this?

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Another Important Facet of True Forgiveness

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On January 30, 2019

In Biblical Teaching

1Co 6:9-11 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, (10) nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. (11) And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Most of you know that subjects like forgiveness, repentance, mercy, reconciliation and so on are regularly twisted and distorted into unbiblical caricatures of the real thing. And then they are used by the wicked to continue to oppress the righteous. So here in this article I need to be very clear that what I am about to say is not about accepting fakes and facades. It is not about demanding that we all must reconcile with the unrepentant or even with the repentant (a very rare creature) whose past evil was of such a nature that there cannot be reconciliation in this life.
No, what I want to talk about here is an aspect of real forgiveness that is extremely freeing. It has to do more with us being forgiven than with forgiving. And, like all truths, it is a subject that the wicked will distort and try to deny us.

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The True Church – Christ's Remnant – Has Been Scattered

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On January 28, 2019

In Churches/Church Response

Rom 16:17-19 I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. (18) For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive. (19) For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.

In the soon to be four decades in which I have been a pastor, I have seen the visible church become more like a den of robbers than the body of Christ. What would you experience if you checked into a robbers’ den? A thieves’ hideout? Oh it looked good on the outside – a nice place to stay you thought. But inside? Well, you were preyed upon. Not prayed upon. Preyed upon. Beaten. Robbed. Turns out the place was filled with the wicked.

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Abuse and the Doctrine of Headship and Submission – sermon by Ps Jeff Crippen

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On January 27, 2019

In Sermons

Abuse and the Doctrine of Headship and Submission
Sermon 19 from the series:  The Psychology and Methods of Sin
A 21 sermon series on domestic violence and abuse
First given on December 5, 2010
Sermon Text:  1 Peter 2 – 3:7

This morning I intend to introduce you to an examination of the biblical doctrine of headship and submission in marriage. It will not do to simply dismiss these doctrines, as today’s “Christian” liberalism generally does, claiming they are merely the ravings of male chauvinists like the Apostle Paul. No. Anyone who believes that the Bible is what it says it is – the Word of God – knows that God sets out these doctrines for husbands and wives. Nor are these truths to be dismissed as something archaic, fitting for an ancient culture but not for ours. Our Lord Himself takes us right back to creation, to the first marriage, as does the Apostle Paul. God’ s order for marriage in Eden was then and remains today the same for all marriages in all places.

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**Praying for God's Justice+11

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On January 25, 2019

In Biblical Teaching

Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted.  (13) Why does the wicked renounce God and say in his heart, “You will not call to account”? (14) But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless. (15) Break the arm of the wicked and evildoer; call his wickedness to account till you find none.
(16) The LORD is king forever and ever; the nations perish from his land. (17) O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear (18) to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more. Psalm 10:12-18 ESV

Forgiveness.  Reconciliation.  Love.  Mercy.  Justice?  How does that last one fit into our Christian experience?  Jesus said we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.  Maybe the prayers of Psalm 10 are Old Testament stuff, not for us today? Maybe the same applies to all of those other Psalm-prayers that we call imprecatory?
Wrong!
Because God has never changed and never will change; His justice, wrath, and judgment against the wicked still stands.  In fact, it is increasing in its intensity as evil men oppress His people.
Let me prove it with a NEW Testament imprecatory prayer –

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Projection – A Typical Trait of a Toxic Person

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On January 23, 2019

In Abusers

Dale Ingraham shared an article from Shahida Arabi recently which included this characteristic of abusers. I am not familiar enough with Arabi to recommend her material, but she certainly nails it in this statement about “projection.”
She calls the abuser a “toxic” person and that is a very accurate term. Wicked people are toxic to others. Poison. As long as we are in some kind of relationship with them, they are poisoning us. I have written elsewhere that abuse is murder. It is a slow but sure toxic poisoning.

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**A Common Claim – "Only God can Judge"+10

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On January 21, 2019

In Biblical Teaching

1Co 5:12-13 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? (13) God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

I was reading a commentary on Matthew this morning and came across the following statement by the author:

God is the one truly competent Judge, for he alone knows all things. Every human judgment is based on imperfect knowledge. We make every decision on insufficient evidence. Not so with God. He knows all that is, was, and shall be. [Matthew: Reformed Expository Commentary, Daniel Doriani]

Now, this statement is true, in part at least. God is indeed the only truly competent judge. He is the only one who knows all things. This cannot be said of any human. If perfection in judgment is the subject of discussion, yes – it is only to be found in God.
However…

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