Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen Page 68 of 88

They Never Admit Wrong: A Sure Sign of an Unsafe (and Unsaved) Person

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On October 2, 2019

In Abusers

1Jn 1:10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Mr. Decker: “Captain, shouldn’t we take every possible precaution?”
Captain Kirk: “Mr. Decker, I will not provoke an attack.  If that order isn’t clear enough for you….”
Mr. Decker: “Captain, as your executive officer it is my duty to point out alternatives.”
Captain Kirk: “Yes it is.  I stand corrected.”
“Yes, it is.  I stand corrected.”  Words you will never hear from an abuser.
Pastor Larry Dean, a reader of this blog, loves to talk about repentance. He would tell you that it is sorely lacking not only in the world today, but in the church. And yet without repentance there can be no forgiveness of sin. A gospel with no call to repentance is no gospel at all.

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We are to Separate From Evil, Not Order the Righteous to Live With it

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On September 30, 2019

In Biblical Teaching

Psa 1:1-2  Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;  (2)  but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.
Pro 4:14-15  Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil.  (15)  Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on.

The Bible is filled with commands and warnings just like these. The Lord Himself cannot look upon evil. The wicked will never stand in His presence. His holiness consumes them in an instant. And His people are to reflect this holiness in their own lives by separating themselves from the wicked.
Somehow however, I suppose due to the idolatrous status and man-made legalistic traditions in regard to marriage, the wicked are being given a pass. It is sin, so many professing Christians claim, to separate from evil if you are married to it. The marriage vows, even if given under false pretense and broken habitually without repentance, serve as a kind of diabolical grandfather clause that makes the Lord’s commands to separate from evil null and void. “Separate? Sorry, no can do. You said ‘I do’ and so you’d better “do.”

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How Academia in Religion Can Enable and Protect Abusers

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On September 27, 2019

In Churches/Church Response

Today I received the following announcement from the Greystone Theological Institute, announcing another presentation in their Postgraduate Seminar Series. Let me say plainly up front that my purpose here is not to slam Greystone or to try to say that a seminar like this has no value at all. That is not my purpose. You can read the following quote from the email they sent me, and then I will tell you what my point here is.  As you can guess, it has to do with abusers in the church:

On 23 October, at 10 AM (EST), Greystone is pleased to host an online-only presentation by Dr Jake Griesel (Cambridge) as part of the Greystone Online Postgraduate Seminar Series. Dr Griesel will present on “Reformed Orthodoxy in the Church of England, 1660-c. 1730.” Here is a summary of his forthcoming presentation:
“The conventional historiography has long depicted the post-Restoration Church of England as having shed itself of its earlier Reformed heritage. Historians have supposed that, after the Great Ejection of 1662, Reformed orthodoxy in England was almost entirely restricted to dissenters, whereas Arminianism became overwhelmingly dominant in the established Church before being challenged by the Calvinistic wing of the evangelical revivals of the 1730s and 40s. This presentation will challenge the foregoing narrative by considering the abiding strength of Reformed orthodoxy within the established Church between the Restoration (1660) and the dawn of the evangelical revivals (c. 1730). Particular attention will be given to how the Church’s Thirty-nine Articles and Homilies functioned as confessional authorities as post-Restoration Reformed conformists strove to preserve Reformed orthodoxy against Arminianism as the official orthodoxy of the established Church.”

The subject of Dr. Griesel’s presentation will no doubt be interesting to many. The study of church history is important and can have great value. I would probably enjoy hearing it myself.
But….

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Until YOU Have Been the Target….

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On September 25, 2019

In Churches/Church Response, Counseling, False Teaching, Supporting Victims

2Ti 4:14-15  Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds.  (15)  Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message.

I wonder if Timothy believed Paul’s warning? I hope that he did. I suspect that he did. But if so, Timothy would be an exception to such warnings.
I have seen it over and over and over again. Victims, people who have been targeted by domestic abusers, sociopaths, psychopaths, wolves in wool, tell someone what the evil person is doing. Just like Paul told Timothy about Alexander. But what is the most typical reaction to the warning?

  • You are exaggerating
  • He can’t be as bad as that
  • We are all sinners, you know
  • You need to show him love. He probably had a messed up childhood

And then, throw into the mix the denials and charming wiles of the abuser and the victim’s report just blows away in the wind. Why?

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Local Churches are Arrogantly Co-Dependent on the Wicked

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On September 25, 2019

In Churches/Church Response

1Co 5:1-2  It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife.  (2)  And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.

I have written before on the subject of selfish, sinful, co-dependency. It is so often evidenced in a parent’s supposed “love” for a wicked son or daughter. It is not love at all, but rather a “symthanotropic” (I coined that word – it means “mutual destruction of one another as opposed to symbiotic – giving life to one another) ugly dynamic.
Symthanotropes set out to “fix and heal” one another, although usually one puts most of the money and resources into it while the other just sucks it up like a relational black hole. In reality, these couplets actually destroy each other. One by bleeding the other dry, and that other by enabling the wicked one in his or her evil when the best thing for them would be letting them go it alone in the pig pen.
But here is my main subject in this article – local churches and pastors and church members are doing the very same thing with the wicked, including and perhaps especially in regard to domestic abusers parading as saints.  How?

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Grizzly Bears, Wolves, and the Denial of Evil

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On September 23, 2019

In Churches/Church Response

Act 20:28-30  Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.  (29)  I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock;  (30)  and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them.

The Bible is filled with repeated warnings just like this one. Evil, wicked, creeps will always be at work creeping in among us in the church, disguised in wool. And yet, it would seem that the majority of people who claim to be Christians willfully blow off these warnings. Which is, of course, unbelief and disobedience to the King.
Let me give an illustration.

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It Only Takes a Wink or a Glance to Abuse

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On September 20, 2019

In Abusers

A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; (Proverbs 6:12-14)

I have probably written posts about these verses before, but they are on my mind again today and the truths they teach cannot be announced too often. As you read this, please note: I am in no way here being critical of victims who have not yet left their abuser. We realize that “just leaving the jerk” is not so simple.  No, I am primarily speaking of other people like church members who continue to associate with the wicked/abuser rather than dissociating from him. Ok, here we go:
When it comes to dealing with an abuser — with these wicked ones who see themselves as gods to be served and worshiped — we cannot employ half measures. And these Proverbs explain why. Let me explain further.

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Announcement: Livestreaming of CRC Worship Service on FB Page

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On September 19, 2019

In Blog News

We have just published a new facebook page for Christ Reformation Church.  The primary purpose is to faciliate the livestreaming of our Sunday morning worship services. We will give it a run this Sunday and see what glitches we need to fix, but it should work. The service generally (hey, we are laid back) starts at around 11AM and the sermon at about 11:25. We aren’t sure if the audio gear will do a good job on the congregational singing so we haven’t decided for sure if we will just stream the sermon or the whole service, but we shall see.
Most of you know more about fb than I do. Someone mentioned that they thought an announcement would be sent out by fb when we actually go live.  We will check that out.
We will continue to video the sermons and put them on sermonaudio.com/crc and on youtube (channel is Unholy Charade) as we have been.  If this system works well, we are also thinking about livestreaming the morning Sunday school class as well.  We hope that this will enable all who desire to do so to feel more a real part of us here at CRC.

Never Go to a Meeting When the Purpose is Unknown to You

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On September 18, 2019

In Supporting Victims

I have learned (the hard way) that one of the ways the wicked work their evil against the righteous is by setting a trap or snare. Jesus said, “beware of men.” And so we must.
A typical way that the wicked set their traps is to ask their victim to –

  •  come to the office to talk
  • let’s just sit down and talk
  • I need to talk to you very badly
  • No, no, no. We don’t need anyone else to come. Just come yourself so we can talk

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If You Haven't Read David Instone-Brewer's book, You Really Should

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On September 16, 2019

In Biblical Teaching

Here are some powerful and refreshing words from David Instone-Brewer’s book on marriage and divorce in the church. This will make you want to get your hands on the book for sure. And by the way – ANY pastor or counselor or Christian who fancies that they are competent to counsel on this subject but who is still ignorant of what Instone-Brewer presents and proves here – is not competent to counsel at all. [The boldface highlighting is mine]-

We will see in later chapters that what defines a broken marriage is broken vows: the vows that marriage partners make to each other in God’s presence. We will find in chapter three that the Old Testament describes God’s relationship with Israel like a marriage that ended in divorce because cause of Israel’s adulteries. So God is a divorcee-and he hates it as much as any victim of divorce. A victim?
Yes, God is a victim of divorce, even though he actually carried it out; in the same way, many victims today are actually the ones who initiate proceedings to bring the marriage to an official end. They call in the lawyers to stop the mockery and pain of constant adultery or the anguish of abuse. But as we will see, the Bible does not regard the victim as the sinner. It is the person who is guilty of causing the marriage to break up whom Jesus addresses when he says, “Those whom God has joined, no one should separate.”
In other words, his warning is not to the person who finally tidies up the legal mess after the marriage has broken down but to those who would violate their marriage vows and, in so doing, cause the marriage to break up. Jesus says that divorce should never happen because when two people marry they are joined by God, who is a witness to the marriage vows and is there to bless the marriage. These vows should never be broken-especially especially since they are made before God. But of course people do break them, just as they break God’s other commands. Jesus never says that these vows are impossible to break-as if God ignores the reality of sin-but but he teaches that if a partner breaks the vows and is then repentant, we should forgive that person.
If the vows are continuously broken, without repentance, then the marriage will be left in shreds. Therefore although the breakup of a marriage is always due to sin, it is not the divorce vorce itself that is the sin; the sin is the breaking of the vows, which causes the divorce. In later chapters we will look at the biblical marriage vows closely We will learn that the Bible allows only the victim to initiate a divorce-that is, it allows them to decide when enough is enough and, if their partner remains unrepentant, to decide that the marriage is over.
Jesus’ main complaint was that the Jews had abandoned this principle. They allowed a man to divorce his wife even when she hadn’t broken her vows-that is, when he had no grounds for divorce. Paul similarly condemned a Greco-Roman groundless divorce. Later on in the book we will look at the Old Testament’s teaching on divorce and remarriage-which allowed divorce on the grounds of neglect or abuse-and discover that Jesus and Paul both affirmed this teaching.

David Instone-Brewer. Divorce and Remarriage in the Church: Biblical Solutions for Pastoral Realities (p. 18-19). Kindle Edition.

(We have added Instone-Brewer’s book to the Resources tab on the top menu bar.  There  – and here – is an Amazon affiliate link if you are interested in purchasing the book.)

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