Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

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The Comforter

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On October 18, 2021

In Biblical Teaching, Getting Free, Supporting Victims

Joh 14:16-18 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, (17) even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. (18) “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

The Holy Spirit, particularly in the Gospel of John, is called the paraclete, variously translated as the comforter, the Helper, and probably some other similar terms as well. Christ and the Spirit, as well as the Father, are one. So much so that Jesus can say of the coming of the Spirit, “I will come to you.”

Every real Christian is indwelt by the Comforter. And He is very active in us. Paul could say, for example:

Rom 8:14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

and again-

Rom 8:16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,

It is by the Spirit that the Father communicates to us that we are indeed His children. The Spirit is the Spirit of adoption and He is the One who assures us that we really are Christ’s people.

But what I would like us to think about here is this matter of the Spirit being the Comforter. Here is Paul once again:

2Co 1:3-5 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, (4) who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (5) For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

Oppressed people are afflicted people. In fact, it is not going too far to say that every real Christian is oppressed in this fallen world. We share, as Paul says, in the sufferings of Christ and those sufferings are not rare. They are abundant.

However, the more these sufferings increase, the more the Comforter comforts. I don’t know exactly how He does this, but He does. It is a mystery, but it is real. I suppose one way this comfort comes to us is through the Spirit leading other believers to join us in our suffering. To come to us and help us just as faithful believers came to Paul when he was in prison. But I am sure there is also an inner, mystical aspect to this communication of comfort to us as well.

The Spirit’s comforting has a goal even beyond comforting us. He causes us to experience this comfort so that we can exercise it toward other believers who are suffering. That is why, for example, we all are comforted by those believers who have experienced the same kinds of sufferings that we experience. If you want to find someone who is a comfort to you, for instance, when you are being sorely abused by a wicked person, you will find that someone in the ranks of those who have also been abused. They suffered, they were comforted, and they can pass that comfort on to you.

Knowing these things helps us endure and persevere in this fallen world. Christ has not left us alone as abandoned orphans. When we are born again, He comes to us and He comes in the Person of the Spirit. He is right there with us in our suffering. So ask Him. Ask Him to pour out that comfort on you. As Peter puts it – Cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you. And Paul again:

Php 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Right Back at Ya! The Abuser’s Tactic of Reflective Blaming

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On October 13, 2021

In Abusers

Recently I had a refresher course in abuser tactics. Not in a classroom, but in real life. I need these reminders to help me continue to learn how to put into practice what I have learned about abuse. Necessary, because we all so easily revert to our old errors we used to be bound by when we were still “in the fog.” In this case my reminder was that I must not yield to accusations or to suggestions by the cowardly. We all have to learn to dig in our heels, stand firm, and say “no, I am right and you are wrong.”

Many times distortions of our Christian faith that we have been confused by tell us that such an attitude evidences a lack of humility, that surely we are all sinners, that we need to look at ourselves carefully, that we need to acknowledge our own sin…blah, blah, blah. Yes, these things can be true, but they can also be perversions of Scripture that the wicked use against us.  In dealing with the wicked, as someone has recently said, we must be shrewd. We must be wise as serpents. “No, I am right and you are wrong and I am not going to listen to you.”

It’s the same old story you all would recognize. Power and control seekers bullying and lording it over others. They will not listen to anyone. They will not admit any wrong doing. They are never wrong. YOU are the problem. And furthermore, the very idea that YOU would dare act in such an un-Christian manner by saying such things to them…well, you should be ashamed of yourself!  Sound familiar?  I bet it does.

Now, what do we mean by “reflective blaming.” It goes like this, “Here is the irony”, the wicked tell us,  “The very same ungodly spirit that you are saying we are guilty of is what you yourselves are guilty of.” See what he is saying?  “Well, you say that we are abusers, but you are abusing us by saying so.” It’s like addressing a mirror that has the capability of reflecting everything you say back at and upon you. We even see this in children. “Well you do it too!”  And of course the goal of the abuser in using this tactic is to remove at least 50% of the blame from himself and put it back on you.

When this reflective blaming hits you, how do you respond? If we aren’t careful, we will let it do its intended damage by accepting this blame. Hey, that’s the humble Christian thing to do, right? No! As soon as we catch ourselves starting to think and feel that, “whoa. I’m guilty. I have sinned by confronting my abuser. I should have been more kind and humble and….” – STOP!! No, I am not guilty of the same thing that the abuser is doing. I reject that charge. We must look the abuser in the eye (when it is safe) and say “I reject everything you are saying. Don’t try to remove guilt from yourself by deflecting it to me. I am not guilty of abuse. You are.”

Then listen to the wicked howl some more. “No one has EVER spoken to me this way!” No, they probably haven’t and that is a huge part of the problem.

We Have a Choice: Follow Christ or Become Cruella Deville

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On October 11, 2021

In Abusers, Getting Free, Supporting Victims

I don’t know how many of you have watched the new Disney movie, Cruella. We have seen it twice now and it really provoked my thinking.

Cruella was treated very wickedly as a child. Her name was Estella. There is a pivotal scene in the movie where Estella decides to embrace who she concludes she really is – Cruella. Thus the origin of one of the most evil characters in the Disney collection who sets out to exact her revenge.

When we have been on the receiving end of abuse, when we come to underestand this evil – its mentality and tactics and goals – we have a choice to make. We can follow Christ and walk with Him wherever He goes, experiencing all that He receives at the hands of a world that hates Him – and thereby walk into freedom. Or, we can choose to become Cruella and spend the rest of our life seeking vengeance and retribution, lashing out at anyone who misunderstands us, triggers us, or in some way causes the videos in our minds to replay. This latter path is the path to continued bondage and misery. It is the path to becoming a practitioner of the very evils our abuser utilized against us.

The Bible is what I like to describe as “condensed soup.” Its words are packed with wisdom and insight that we must, by the Spirit in us, “unpack” like a zip file so that the truths in even one verse can open up before us. Such a verse is this:

Rom 12:19-21 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (20) To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” (21) Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Estella was overcome by evil when she determined to be Cruella. Don’t go down that path yourself. Hunger and thirst for justice, yes. Appeal to Caesar as far as the law of this world allows. Take steps to get free of an abuser. But never permit yourself to be overcome by evil, so that you become an evildoer yourself.

Moving Beyond Victimhood

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On October 6, 2021

In Supporting Victims

Rom 8:31-39 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? (32) He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (33) Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. (34) Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. (35) Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? (36) As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” (37) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (38) For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, (39) nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In our many discussions of and articles about abuse, we use common titles for the abuser’s target – victim being the most common. Sometimes survivor is preferred. These are good and useful labels to describe our experience of being treated wickedly by evil people.

But in this article I want to propose to you that it is a damaging error to embrace these terms to describe who we are. Because if we do that, we are going to mis-identify who we really are in Christ. And that mistake leads to all kinds of trouble.

The Apostle Paul was abused. Big time. Listen to him here:

2Co 11:24-27 Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. (25) Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; (26) on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; (27) in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.

Think about this. Talk about being traumatized! And yet Paul did not characterize himself as a victim, or a survivor of abuse. He knew who he was in the essence of his being – a child of God, a saint, a citizen of heaven, a person deeply loved by the Lord. You see it in the Romans 8 quote above. Notice how often he mentions the love of Christ.

The Bible does not leave us in perpetual victimhood. It does not deny the reality of evil – quite the opposite. But we must understand that we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us. We do not have to be enslaved to the trauma effected upon us by the evil one. And I believe that this is a great error pushed upon us by quite a lot of counseling. It leaves us stuck in victimhood. That is not God’s will for us. He wants us as His children to know who we are in Christ and to live in the freedom these truths bring. Understand? Trauma is real. PTSD is real. Fear is real. I have no doubt that Paul experienced some or all of these things. But in the end, he knew who he was and he refused to be identified as a victim. He was a conqueror. He had been set free by Christ and he knew it.

I think that one of the keys to moving from victim into the joy and freedom Christ intends for us, is to come to know the love of Christ. Check this out:

Eph 3:14-19 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, (15) from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, (16) that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, (17) so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, (18) may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, (19) and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

To know the love of Christ. To be filled with the fullness of God. These are gifts shown to us by the Spirit. Rooted and grounded in love.

I believe that one of the traps that keeps people in perpetual victimhood is an inability to accept love. Evil has sold them so many lies that when truth comes along, they don’t accept it. When love comes, they do not receive it. So one of the crucial things that we need is for the Lord to lift off the blinders that wicked people have put on us, and enable us to see the love of Christ for us. Otherwise what is going to happen is that when real love does come to us, we won’t have it. We will be stuck. Bogged down in confusion about who we really are. And make no mistake, evil people just love to tell you who you are! These are of course lies from the pit designed to enslave.

Here is some good news then. Without denying the reality of the painful effects of abuse – they are very real – let me say this: you can be free of these things. You do not need to live the rest of your life as victim. But the key to this freedom is not man-made. It is not “I am going to stand up for myself. I am not going to put up with this anymore. I am going to work out and practice with weapons and nobody better ever mess with me again!” All of that is just a disguise for perpetual victimhood. And even worse, it can become a path to us becoming quite abusive ourselves. No, freedom lies in Christ. It is to be found in knowing the unknowableness of His love for us. If you are a Christian (and you must be born again!) then the Spirit of Christ is in you. He wants to show you who you are. He is trying to teach you about this freedom that is yours if you will just receive it. He is trying to reveal to you the depths of God’s love for you. He is trying to show you that, well, you are not a victim. You are a conqueror and this victory comes through Him who loved us so.

One Bad Apple…

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On October 4, 2021

In Churches/Church Response

Ecc 9:18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good.

Our friend Lynn sent me the following words along with a great picture of two pears hanging from a tree, touching each other. I didn’t put the picture here because I wasn’t sure about the copyright, but it was perfect. One pear was totally moldy, yucky, and rotten and where it was leaning up against the other pear, that one has the same mold and rot spreading into it. And the caption with that picture said – Being too close to the wrong people can ruin you.

Here is what Lynn wrote:

If only the visible church understood that this is what happens when you don’t remove the toxic people in their midst. Rotten fruit infects healthy fruit. Healthy fruit doesn’t infect rotten fruit. That’s why you can’t just have it near you. You have to cut it of and completely remove yourself from it. Lest you end up spoiling yourselves. Too many professing Christians see themselves as vibrant, healthy fruit when in fact they are are slowly rotting away infecting those around them with their disease. 

And then another one of my friends, who has vast experience with plants and greenhouses, wrote this to me when I showed him what Lynn had sent:

Great analogy. It’s the same growing plants. One diseased plant can eventually wipe out an entire crop if not removed from the healthy plants around them (trust me, I know). I am now a firm believer that an abusive spouse spreads their evil into innocent children. My family is living proof. I would never recommend an abused spouse stay for the good of the kids.

Churches that permit the wicked to remain among the flock are dangerous, disease-spreading places. Think of it. We are taking all these precautions in the local churches to prevent catching covid, and yet a much more deadly disease is totally ignored and allowed. One might kill the body. The other always kills the soul – for eternity.

The Do-Nothing Pastor

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On October 1, 2021

In Churches/Church Response

Joh 10:12-13 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. (13) He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.

One of the most common reasons victims of various kinds of evil and abuse are further oppressed by their church leaders when they go for help is because of what I call the do-nothing pastor. Some church leaders actively oppress these victims, but others take a more passive route of oppression. They do nothing. How many times have we seen evil reported to the various authorities, and yet nothing is done. No action taken. Laws have been broken and yet…nothing.

So let’s think about the do-nothing pastor here. God’s Word is plain. Action against evil in the church is to be taken. That action is even specified (see 1 Cor 5 for example). And yet, nothing is done. The wicked one is permitted to remain in the church, partake of communion, even teach or be the pastor! Excuses are offered. Blame is shifted. And nothing is done. Eventually of course the do-nothing pastor does take action – against the victim! You all know how that scenario plays out.

But what goes on in these do-nothings? I saw it sometimes unfortunately when I was a police officer. Once in a while a do-nothing would work their way into the ranks. Crimes were committed. And yet these kind did nothing. Why? Well, it was too much work. They didn’t want to write the reports. They didn’t want to go to court on their day off. They made excuses to minimize the crime and to cast some blame on the victims. One time I investigated a burglarly and made a request for the CSI tech to come out and dust for prints. He didn’t do it. I was all kinds of angry and I wrote a report to the Captain complaining. Guess what? Who got reprimanded? I did. Why? Because, you know, it was no real big deal and this poor CSI guy (who was about to retire) had to write a report explaining why he didn’t process the scene…blah, blah, blah. He was do-nothing and as is so often the case, the do-nothings skate while victims and their allies ride the heat.

There are plenty of do-nothing pastors filling pulpits in the churches. When it comes to confronting evil and seeking real justice for the victims, they do nothing. Strange, isn’t it, that these kind claim to be such pious Christians but Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount that His true people hunger and thirst for righteousness. For justice. Hmmm…could this imply…could it just be…that these types are not born again? That our pulpits are so often filled by unregenerates? Such is in fact the case.

Why do they do nothing? What is the motivation? It is self. It is laziness. It is cowardice in the face of the enemy. It is wanting the victim to just shut up and go away and quit stirring the waters. “I just don’t want any trouble…I just can’t deal with conflict.” And yet they claim to be soldiers of the cross. What is done to soldiers who are cowards in battle and who abandon their comrades? What is the penalty for desertion?

I can tell you story after story after story of do-nothing pastors I have confronted. When they have open, obvious, serious wickedness in their churches, they will do nothing. You can point out the pertinent commands of scripture – but they will do nothing. You can offer to educate them about the tactics of evil – they don’t want to hear about it. That would require action. And they just cannot have that.

Besides, you know, the rest of us are just so over-board judgmental, harsh, and unkind.

Well, I can tell all these do-nothings. When the Chief Shepherd appears, you might fancy that He will do-nothing. Fancy that fantasy all you want. He will be swift to take action against them and frankly, since they made so many little ones stumble, it would be better for them if they had never been born.

This is a very Damaging Teaching that Abusers Love

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On September 27, 2021

In Biblical Teaching

The following quote was found by twbtc on Twitter recently, posted by an abuse victim. I do not know who she is and I certainly am not posting this article with the intent of being mean to her. But her words are a teaching that is very widespread among professing Christians. The churches typically teach it. Abusers love it. And it results in victims being hindered from getting free. Here is the statement:

“While God HATES what my abuser did to me, I know that he loves my abuser as much as he loves me. So much, in fact, that he died for him. I don’t like that. But, if it’s not true then the God I’m worshipping is one that I made up and I don’t want a made up God. My abuser chose…”

First of all, let me highly recommend that anyone who thinks this is true, go to our youtube site at Unholy Charade and carefully listen to the series of videos I did entitled “Does God Love Everyone?” There is an avalanche of scripture presented there that demonstrates the answer to this question is a resounding “No.”

God does not love the wicked as much as He loves His children. God does not love the wicked in the same way He loves the righteous. In fact, I propose to you that God does not love the wicked, period! In addition, it is a false statement to insist that Christ died for your abuser. Christ died for His people, for His elect (see John 17 for instance). And finally, what we have in this statement is 180 degrees out of kilter. The god who loves the wicked as much as he loves his children, the god who died on the cross for the unrepentant, habitually and characteristically oppressor of widows and orphans, is in the fact the false god.

In this commenter’s theology, it is man who does the choosing, not God. It is the sinner (who is dead to God in his sin, unable to take a single step toward God) upon whom the matter turns. Man somehow, who hates God, chooses God. As long as I still held to these ideas (because that is what I was taught) I was unable to make any sense out of the Bible.

God hates what your abuser does, and God hates your abuser. Understanding this puts you on the path to freedom.

Forsaken by a Traitor’s Kiss

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On September 22, 2021

In Abusers

I have written about the evil of betrayal as seen in the traitorous kiss of Judas. But the thing came to mind again today as we were singing at the beginning of the Sunday School class – God the Uncreated One (by Aaron Keyes and Pete James). One of the lines is Mighty God in mortal flesh, forsaken by a traitor’s kiss.

And so it is. It is one thing to be attacked by an overt enemy, but it is even more devastating when the attack comes from someone you really thought was a friend. Someone who claimed to love you. This is the case in domestic abuse scenarios, right? The truth comes out from behind the curtain eventually and the shock hits. They were never your friend. Never. And they never loved you. Never. The friend you thought existed turns out to be a fiction. This is why the change can look like it takes place in an instant – from friend to enemy. But really, the friend was never there at all.

The tools of deception are like Judas’ kiss. They are instruments of apparent affection. Words of loyalty. Kindnesses. And yet, like that infamous kiss, they are daggers meant for evil. Designed to earn your trust so that the attack can strike more effectively.

If we are going to be wise about evil, then it is vital that we understand these things.

Psa 41:7-9 All who hate me whisper together about me; they imagine the worst for me. (8) They say, “A deadly thing is poured out on him; he will not rise again from where he lies.” (9) Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me.

As painful as it is to come to this realization, it is one of the first steps to freedom to realize that the person I thought was my friend never really existed. It was a fiction portrayed by deception. When we finally understand this, we return to reality and truth, and that is where real freedom is to be found.

Are you Flawed? Is it Your Fault?

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On September 15, 2021

In Abusers

Act 24:1-9 And after five days the high priest Ananias came down with some elders and a spokesman, one Tertullus. They laid before the governor their case against Paul. (2) And when he had been summoned, Tertullus began to accuse him, saying: “Since through you we enjoy much peace, and since by your foresight, most excellent Felix, reforms are being made for this nation, (3) in every way and everywhere we accept this with all gratitude. (4) But, to detain you no further, I beg you in your kindness to hear us briefly. (5) For we have found this man a plague, one who stirs up riots among all the Jews throughout the world and is a ringleader of the sect of the Nazarenes. (6) He even tried to profane the temple, but we seized him. (8) By examining him yourself you will be able to find out from him about everything of which we accuse him.” (9) The Jews also joined in the charge, affirming that all these things were so.

One tactic of the devil is so characteristic of him that he is even given a title from it – the accuser of the brethren. The accuser.

Accusation is a powerful weapon. It, and its allies (slander, malice, lies…) are regularly used by the enemy against Christ’s people. And if you have been the target of one of these wicked ones, you know that power. Being accused is a devastating thing – especially when the accusations are false. That is what was going on in the scripture above when Paul was being accused by emissaries of the devil.

One of the most wickedly powerful qualities of accusation is that even the target of it can come to believe that the false claims are true. You’ve experienced it, right? If you have lived with a wicked person, having ongoing and regular contact with them, you know how, over time, you can start believing the accusations made against you.

  • You always….
  • You were unkind
  • You never…
  • You are stupid
  • You, you, you, you….

When we know such a charge is false, it is damaging enough because other people believe it or at minimum the words are painful in themselves. But when we start to believe them, the power of accusation can become devastating. If I am as bad as my accuser says, then I am going to withdraw. I am going to expect that I will sabotage every relationship and be rejected. And it will always be my fault. Just ask my accuser.

Think more about this. A very, very common characteristic of evil people such as abusers, narcissists, sociopaths and so on is they are never wrong. They are never to blame. Consequently as things go wrong around them, someone must be blamed. Being in a relationship with such a person will guarantee that you will be held guilty, blamed, accused, shamed, and made to feel fundamentally botched and worthless. This is the stuff that drives people to suicide, to all kinds of mental and physical ailments, to despair, depression, and hopelessness. The devil works every single moment to destroy his targets and this is one of his weapons of choice.

I have made this observation before, but it is worth making again and again. Just how likely is it that YOU are the one to blame every single time? That it is always YOUR fault? I mean surely we are right some of the time – but you would never know it to listen to our accusers. “Oh, your marriage is on the rocks? Well, you need to take a look at yourself, you know.” “He raged in anger at you last night? Look at yourself and see how you caused it.” The dinner you made was pathetic. The dress you put on looked stupid. The bathroom you painted looks horrid. And on and on and on and on the accusations flow.

Are you really THAT bad? That flawed and stupid? I highly doubt it. In fact, the abuse victims I have known who have had these and so many more wicked accusations fired at them, are really quite remarkable people. I mean, to endure the suffering they have been through is just amazing. What they have accomplished in all that darkness really blows me away quite often. I don’t think I could do it.

Take care then in this regard. Consider where these accusations are coming from. They originate from the one Jesus called the father of lies, and he has many, many of his wicked children out and about spreading those lies at every opportunity.

Did you marry an abuser? Are you going through the misery of being in such a marriage? Well, let’s just remind ourselves of this truth – it’s not your fault. It isn’t you fault that your wicked spouse does what he/she does. Even if you could somehow miraculously become as perfect as Jesus Himself, guess what? The problems would not end. They didn’t end for Jesus, Because He is not the culprit. And neither are you.

Zeal Without Knowledge: Bible Interpretation that Leads to Mercilessness and Injustice

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On September 13, 2021

In Churches/Church Response

I have written on this subject and on the following Scriptures in other posts. But they have been on my mind again the last few weeks. I keep seeing them violated by Bible teachers, pastors, and counselors of a certain type. Recently I have seen this “zeal without knowledge” pattern in publications by writers of the NANC (nouthetic counseling) school. In their zealous handling of Scripture and in their desire to be absolutely “biblical,” unswayed by any input outside the Bible, they come to erroneous interpretations and make harmful applications. The same kind of hermeneutic (interpretive method) is rampant in other conservative Christian circles. This approach to God’s Word creates the very thing such folks say they don’t want to create: man-made traditions that trump the Word of God. Read these Scriptures, and then I will try to explain more clearly what I mean.

And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” But when he heard it, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:11-13

At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry, and they began to pluck heads of grain and to eat. But when the Pharisees saw it, they said to him, “Look, your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath.” He said to them, “Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, and those who were with him: how he entered the house of God and ate the bread of the Presence, which it was not lawful for him to eat nor for those who were with him, but only for the priests? Or have you not read in the Law how on the Sabbath the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath and are guiltless? I tell you, something greater than the temple is here. And if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,‘ you would not have condemned the guiltless. For the Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.” Matthew 12:1-8

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. Matthew 23:23

Wooden literalism demands a specific proof verse for everything. And it proposes specific proof verses as a basis for a very literal, unbending application. Wooden literalism leads to applications that make no sense at all in real life and that are devoid of mercy. It takes one verse and derives from it an all-inclusive, broad principle which is divorced from the larger context of Scripture that, if considered, would reveal things like the mercy of God. This school of Bible teachers just will not listen unless you can give them chapter and verse. Oh, and that chapter and verse MUST use the exact, literal words on the subject you are discussing.

This approach to interpreting Scripture and applying it to real life is also characterized by an underlying legalism or works-righteousness. One of their underlying assumptions is that if we are to please God and be “perfected” in his sight, our marriage must be preserved at any cost. This is a fundamental plank in these teachers’ agenda, and it is the product of their flawed hermeneutic. The formula, in their eyes, goes like this: Jesus said marriage is forever. Jesus said let no man separate what God has joined together. Jesus said no divorce except for adultery. Boom! That’s it. That’s the rule that governs all cases. Therefore, no matter what kind of terrible abuse a victim might be suffering, Jesus did not use the “abuse” word. No divorce for abuse. You say that makes no sense? Well, my child, God’s ways are higher than your ways. And so it goes.

Let me give an example taken from a small book on abuse, written by a pastor who I believe truly desires to help people. And yet, his method of approaching Scripture leads him to merciless conclusions. Never once, not even by indirect allusion, is divorce mentioned in this booklet. Yet it is the elephant in the room as the abuse victim reads what this pastor has to say. [I say again, the acid test of whether someone is really going to stand with the victim and against her abuser is whether or not they grant that abuse is indeed a biblical grounds for divorce].

Ok then, listen to this excerpt and think about how what this pastor writes is a product of a fundamental, stiff handling of Scripture that leads him to embrace the assumption that there is no divorce for abuse:

God may use your suffering to bring glory to himself. Peter writes that our endurance through suffering proves the genuineness of God’s work in us, which will result in ‘praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.’… We who follow him should not be surprised when we suffer…but instead should realize that all who follow Christ will suffer (2 Tim 3:12). Many preachers, missionaries, and ordinary believers have glorified Christ as they were tortured and killed for the sake of the gospel. Rather than being angry with God over our suffering, we should submit to his sovereign will and count it a privilege to suffer for his Name’s sake (Philippians 1:29; Acts 5:41). The faith of other believers will be strengthened and God will be glorified when, in the midst of your suffering, you declare with Job, ‘Though he slay me, I will hope in him’ (Job 13:15). I have known victims of abuse who glorify God by their ongoing joyful trust in him.

Now, once again (after you get your heart rate back under control), think about how in the world a Christian pastor could be led to such a conclusion. I mean, what he is saying to the abuse victim is that she should be willing to stay in the “marriage” and if it be God’s will, be killed by her abuser and ride off into glory land as an eminent martyr. What is totally confusing is that in a couple of places earlier in the booklet, the author alludes to the fact that perhaps in some cases a victim may need to get to safety. But here in his conclusion we see what he really thinks. The marriage must be preserved at all costs, and that means at ALL costs.

Mercy and Justice, Mr. Pastor. That’s what God desires. Yet you have done what the Pharisees did. You demand sacrifice, and disregard the weightier matters of God’s Word.

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