Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

One Bad Apple…

Ecc 9:18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good.

Our friend Lynn sent me the following words along with a great picture of two pears hanging from a tree, touching each other. I didn’t put the picture here because I wasn’t sure about the copyright, but it was perfect. One pear was totally moldy, yucky, and rotten and where it was leaning up against the other pear, that one has the same mold and rot spreading into it. And the caption with that picture said – Being too close to the wrong people can ruin you.

Here is what Lynn wrote:

If only the visible church understood that this is what happens when you don’t remove the toxic people in their midst. Rotten fruit infects healthy fruit. Healthy fruit doesn’t infect rotten fruit. That’s why you can’t just have it near you. You have to cut it of and completely remove yourself from it. Lest you end up spoiling yourselves. Too many professing Christians see themselves as vibrant, healthy fruit when in fact they are are slowly rotting away infecting those around them with their disease. 

And then another one of my friends, who has vast experience with plants and greenhouses, wrote this to me when I showed him what Lynn had sent:

Great analogy. It’s the same growing plants. One diseased plant can eventually wipe out an entire crop if not removed from the healthy plants around them (trust me, I know). I am now a firm believer that an abusive spouse spreads their evil into innocent children. My family is living proof. I would never recommend an abused spouse stay for the good of the kids.

Churches that permit the wicked to remain among the flock are dangerous, disease-spreading places. Think of it. We are taking all these precautions in the local churches to prevent catching covid, and yet a much more deadly disease is totally ignored and allowed. One might kill the body. The other always kills the soul – for eternity.


The Do-Nothing Pastor


Moving Beyond Victimhood


  1. Noka

    When I wanted to distance myself from certain people, I was told by a ‘counselor’ —‘we move towards people’ …. That’s such foolish and naive advice. No, we don’t move towards all people, for the same reason we don’t move toward snakes. Some people are ‘untamed’ (brute beasts from Jude) and venomous and they need to be left out in the wild.. The Bible speaks very clearly about this.:

    “In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
    Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. For indeed Christ, our Passover, was sacrificed for us. Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. “ 1 Corinthians 54-8

    • Anonymous

      AMEN!!! The instruction written, we can be sure to trust, not human beings. I had to learn this Lesson the very hard way.
      Matthew 10:14 And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.
      Thank you Pastor Crippen for sharing this. For me it validates the shock and horror to witness the exposure of the rot that was skillfully hidden away only to find it is sitting right next to you. I pray for the healing of the damages inflicted by the rotten fruit.

    • Jeff Crippen

      “Toward “ – so typical of the fake pious sounding quacks parading as authorities.

  2. allis38

    Wow this is so true! what a great visual analogy. I wish I had the wisdom I have now when I was married. Thank you for this post

  3. Be free

    This is an excellent visual and reminder – thank you. It is 100% applicable to abusers – move away from their immediate reach, keep your physical distance as much as you can – that will help the emotional “detox” and healthy preservation from them as well, don’t engage more than necessary. It’s so simple when looking at it yet it gets so complex when combined with the uneducated, unwilling / abusive in the church and family/friend mix.

    Our neighborhood hired a landscaping company to come in and take care of the common green areas in the area – the landscapers spend one day a week trimming, weeding and cutting. They are quiet about it, they just do it and we hardly notice – and it’s beautiful here! All because they stay on top of their care ,and don’t skip a week. Another visual reminder……

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