Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen Page 15 of 89

The Abuser’s Children are Just Property and Hostages

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On February 12, 2024

In Abusers, Family/Children

“Brad created an atmosphere of fear. They were obedient to the point that it was unnatural. They called him ‘Dad’— never ‘Daddy.’ Those kids were his possessions. Brad gets whatever he wants. He wanted children and he wanted boys. Those boys were like another Mercedes to him.”

Rule, Ann. Dead by Sunset (pp. 205-206). Simon & Schuster, Inc., Kindle Edition

That quote from Ann Rule’s book is about one of the most wicked abusers you could ever find. A psychopath. I HIGHLY recommend everyone read this book – Dead by Sunset. It is a textbook on abusers and a sober, sober warning about how these snakes deceive and cast their evil spell on victims. Brad Cunningham. He is in the Oregon State Penitentiary serving a life sentence and someday soon (he is 75 now) he is going to begin his eternal death sentence in hell. If you think those words are too harsh, you need an education in evil and Dead by Sunset will provide it.

But notice what Rule says here about Cunningham. It holds true of soooo many abusers. His children were his possessions, just like another Mercedes to him. Property to be owned. And in many cases that appears, IMO, to be how the law views children. Property.

And children are so often hostages held by the abuser. Held hostages to punish the abuser’s victim and to continue to control. “I will take the children from you unless….”.

So don’t ever think that an abuser cares at all about the children. He just uses them to control and punish his victim. And don’t get drawn into the falsehood of thinking that children are always better off with two parents. Nope. Not when one is an abuser.

So read Dead by Sunset. You will learn a lot, and one of those truths you will learn is – “if women and men would just obey God’s Law, if they would only refuse to be drawn into sexual immorality, if they would just say “no,” so MUCH grief and anguish would be avoided. I will write more on this in a later post.

Let’s Talk About Projection – Again

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On February 9, 2024

In Blog News

Here is a link to a new article at my Light for Dark Times blog. I wanted everyone to know it is there. Important topic:

Let’s Talk About Projection

You Were Lied to – RASNs Lie

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On February 7, 2024

In Abusers

Rom 3:13 “Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.” “The venom of asps is under their lips.”

This is one of those “where do we begin” subjects. Lying and deception are woven into the wicked person’s nature. Of course we all are guilty of telling lies at one time or another. But if we truly know Christ, the Holy Spirit in us will certainly bring us to repentance and we will hate our sin. Not so the RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist).

These kind of people lie as habit. They deceive just about every time they speak or act. They are of their father the devil, who is the father of lies. They are deceived themselves and they deceive.

The strange thing is that we are so often deceived by them. Many of you realize now that you were lied to for years and years. It took that long for you to see it. Why? Well, RASNs are really good at lying. They are very, very convincing. One reason for this is that they really have no conscience and that enables them to lie with, as we often say, “a straight face.” I am currently reading (for a second time) Ann Rule’s book “Dead by Sunset.” I highly recommend it as an education in the wiles of the wicked. Repeatedly the victims (one of whom was murdered) would confidently say, “I was just certain Brad was telling the truth. There was absolutely no sign of deception. No way did he kill his ex-wife.” But Brad did murder his poor ex-wife. He is in the Oregon State Prison right now, serving a life sentence.

RASNs malign their victims with lies and falsehoods. They work to turn family and friends against the target. “She is a drug addict. She is mean to the children. She is out to steal all my money.” And on and on and on it goes.

We have experienced this kind of thing many times over the years in our church. RASNs often parade as the finest Christians to be found on the planet. In they come, wearing their disguise – and it works for a time. Sometimes for a long, long time. But eventually there is a parting of the ways –

1Jn 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.

And of course then come the lies. And most people believe them. These “most people” never come and ask, never seek the real story – they just believe the RASN. I know that is the experience of so many of you. The lies are accepted without question and you are maligned.

I wonder about that quite often. Why do people so readily believe the accusations of the wicked? Why don’t they check things out? Laziness? No doubt. But more often I think it is because the wicked are soooo deceiving, soooo convincing. I mean, even a serial killer can put on an act, making himself out to be the real victim, eliciting empathy from others.

In the case of a domestic abuser, the lies begin on day one of the marriage – and actually even before. A domestic abuser NEVER loved his/her spouse. Never. That’s a hard pill to swallow but when we start to understand this, we are on the road to freedom. RASNs use. They take. They destroy. And the one thing they do not do is – love. The whole thing is a sham, a facade front like those fake wooden “buildings” in western movies. Behind it is just – nothing. That is what a marriage to an abuser is.

Rom 16:18 For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.

Another Look at Seventy times Seven

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On February 5, 2024

In Abusers, forgiveness

Mat 18:21-22 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” (22) Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Many of you know that these words of the Lord Jesus to Peter have been twisted and misused by the wicked (RASN’s) to keep their victims in bondage to their abuse. “Now, you know that God requires you to forgive me. I said I’m sorry.” And his allies, often in the local church, pull the same card. Victims have often been chastised and even put out of churches because they refused to “let bygones be bygones.”

But these words are from the Lord Himself! His intent is surely not to justify and enable the wicked by commanding some kind of universal “forgiveness.” I find it very helpful in sorting these kind of things out to step back and take a look at the entire landscape before jumping into the particulars.

Consider – God Himself does not practice universal forgiveness. God does not forgive the majority of mankind. He sends them to hell. No doubt many of these will be loudly protesting “but we said we are sorry.” The Lord is not fooled by false repentance and superficial get out of hell free cards in the form of “I’m sorry.” God Himself does not forgive everyone. This is enough in itself to prove that whatever Jesus meant by the 70 times seven teaching, it cannot mean we must keep on forgiving the wicked even though they keep right on doing evil, then running back to the safe zone insisting that they cannot be tagged out.

What else does the landscape (context) of this scripture tell us? Well, notice the repeated use of the term “brother” here, and in the final “punch line” at the end of the parable Jesus used about the wicked, unforgiving servant:

Mat 18:35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Peter’s initial question was “how often will my brother sin against me…?” They aren’t talking about just “someone” or “anyone.” The question is in regard to “my brother.” In other words, this is how it is to be in the kingdom of God. Not in the fully realized kingdom – in the new creation – but as the kingdom is now in this present world. We are citizens of Christ’s kingdom, but we are not yet glorified. We still battle with sin. We still sin against one another – against our brother.

In Christ’s kingdom now, we are brothers. Brethren. We are fellows in His kingdom. Fellow-servants. I need to quote Jesus’ parable in full here to explain this “brotherhood.” –

Mat 18:23-35 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. (24) When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. (25) And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.

(26) So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ (27) And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

(28) But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ (29) So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ (30) He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

(31) When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. (32) Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. (33) And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’

(34) And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. (35) So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

The Lord Jesus is VERY specific. “Brother. Fellow servant. The kingdom of heaven may be compared to….”. Jesus’ answer to Peter’s question and His instruction of 70 times seven is teaching for Christ’s church. For His people. For brothers and sisters in Christ. As was the case of the wicked, unforgiving servant, when someone who claims to be a Christian, a citizen of the kingdom, refuses to forgive an fellow Christian who has come sincerely seeking forgiveness, sincerely repenting, that unforgiving brother proves himself to be a counterfeit and (see Matthew 18) is put out of the church.

All of this is extremely important to get a firm hold on. Seventy times seven refers to real Christians, kingdom citizens, loving and forgiving one another. Jesus, in this passage, is not addressing the issue of forgiveness when the wicked hate us, abuse us, then come running up with an “I’m sorry, you are now required to forgive me and reconcile with me. If you don’t, God’s condemnation is upon you and He will not forgive you.”

Jesus never taught that when a RASN, and evil person, works their evil upon us, says they are sorry, then goes right ahead working that same evil, we are to dismiss their evil and never bring it up again. This is why local churches who discipline and even ex-communicate a victim of abuse are putting the wrong person out. The continued evil abuse practiced by the RASN demonstrates that their “repentance” is false. Their fruits betray who and what they really are.

“How many will say to Me on that day….’but Lord, we said we were sorry.'”

Dogs and Souls? More Human than RASNs?

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On January 31, 2024

In Abusers, Evil

I have been reading a true story crime book by Ann Rule entitled Every Breath You Take. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to understand with more clarity the evil of the psychopath. In my opinion, RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) share very similar spiritual DNA with the psychopath. I should make a trigger warning about the book if you choose to read it – Rule describes very accurately and in detail the tactics the psychopath uses to enslave and terrorize his victim – in this case his wife. Also, my opinion, young people ought to read this book (and another very much liked it by Rule called Dead by Sunset). Why should they read it? Because these are the true stories of poor young women who were very intelligent, but whose lives were ruined by being duped by Mr. Wonderful.

Now, back to dogs and souls. As I read about these RASNs, it strikes me that the dogs we have had over the years (Buster, Nikki, Brandy, Sasha, Sadie, and now Cinder and Mocha) all evidenced qualities that I do not think can be explained solely by regarding them as flesh and blood organic creatures who are the products of their physical makeup. Why do I say this? Because it is very plain that they demonstrate certain “human” qualities: love, loyalty, empathy, joy, courage and probably more.

Have you ever thought about this? [The point to which I am heading is – my dog friends have all been far more human than RASNs]. I have no evidence from Scripture that animals have souls – and there certainly is a gradient in the animal kingdom in this regard. I mean, I am not arguing that all animals display these qualities. But I am saying that at least, it seems clear to me, that dogs for example, do. I even have a theory – just a theory – that we are going to meet our pets in the new heavens and earth. But then, that’s not my primary discussion here.

My point is, Mr. or Mrs. RASN – my loyal, faithful dogs are more human than you. Just read the books by Ann Rule I recommend and you will see it. There is no joy, no love, no empathy, no loyalty, no courage, in Allen Blackthorne or the others of his ilk she tells us about. These RASNs are of the devil, and thus they are not really human. The devil is an evil spirit – thoroughly evil and unredeemable. Sub-human.

And I suppose that is what I wanted to say in this post. I want to say it to all RASNs – you are sub-human. You are way, way, way down the animal kingdom scale from our furry and faithful friends.

Projection – How the Wicked Launch Missiles

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On January 29, 2024

In Abusers

Psa 5:9 For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction; their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue.

Psa 109:4 In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer.

One of the most evil and typical tactics of RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) is that they are never to be blamed – at least that is their mindset. Never at fault. And to maintain this fake innocence, they by their very nature utilize what we call “projection.” We are seeing examples of it everyday in the news. Wicked leaders are projecting, launching the blame onto others, accusing them of being guilty of the very thing the wicked themselves are doing.

No one has to teach a RASN how to do this. They all do it by nature. You see it in serial killers. Now, if anyone in the world is guilty, surely a serial killer is. I recently read a book about the Green River killer in Washington state who, over 20 years, murdered at least 49 young women. But just ask him. He will tell you that it really wasn’t his fault. His victims were to blame. His upbringing was to blame. The police were to blame. These wicked ones reflect their own guilt like a mirror reflects light. Bounce it right back to the ones who are innocent and blame them.

This is what domestic abusers do of course. “She pushed my buttons.” “I had to teach her a lesson.” “He doesn’t listen so I had to get his attention.” It’s never their fault that the household budget is in shambles. It’s never their fault that they raged. Point our their sin and they shoot it right back at you.

I suppose this projection business even tells us that when an abuse victim reveals the abuse to us and we confront the abuser, we can conclude that he/she is condemned by their own mouth. By that, I mean that what they accuse the victim of, they are doing themselves. That is how this projection business works. And projection is very, very, very typical. You can count on an abuser to practice it.

New Interview of Jeff Crippen on Nurses Out Loud

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On January 27, 2024

In Blog News

Here is the link to this month’s interview by Nurse Michel on the America Out Loud talkshow/podcast, Nurses Out Loud. We originally suggested the title “Abuse in Murder” but the editors decided on a bit different headline. Still the program is indeed about abuse as murder.  Anyway, here is the link –

The Profound Effects of Verbal Abuse

Do You Have the Right to Self Defense?

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On January 26, 2024

In Abusers, Biblical Teaching, RASN

I have been given the privilege of writing a weekly column at a website called America Out Loud. It is a conservative media site that is also largely like a radio station broadcasting interviews with people who are experts in current events or as we might call them, the culture wars. Here is a link to my most recent article: God and the Second Amendment. My subject is, do we have a right to self-defense. You can apply this topic to this whole issue of the RASNs in our lives who attack in various ways. Do you as a Christian have the right to report the abuse to the police or to defend yourself by obtaining a divorce?

At 10AM eastern time today (Friday, Jan 26) I am also interviewed on a program (audio broadcast) called Nurses Out Loud. The moderator, Nurse Michele, and I discuss the subject – Abuse is Murder. If you go to americaoutloud.news and select listen live talk radio at 10 am (and again at 11PM eastern) you can hear the hour long broadcast. You can also access these audio shows by using the podcast feature on your iphone or other device.

Abusive Tactics: The Kiss of Judas

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On January 23, 2024

In Abusers

Luke 22:47-48 ESV  While he was still speaking, there came a crowd, and the man called Judas, one of the twelve, was leading them. He drew near to Jesus to kiss him, (48)  but Jesus said to him, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”

It is the nature of sin to deceive and destroy.  Satan is the father of lies and he was a murderer from the beginning.  He deceives in order to destroy.  These elements are really present in the heart of any sin, but we see them very clearly illustrated in the nature, mentality, and tactics of the abuser.  This is why I maintain that any pastor or any Christian who desires to know the nature of evil, how we can expect it to operate, and how it thinks, can do nothing better than to study domestic violence and abuse in depth.

This will resonate with abuse victims.  The kiss of Judas.  They have received it.  Their abuser, claiming to love them and have their welfare at heart, professing to be a servant of Christ, kisses with his lips while holding a concealed dagger in his hand.  Christians, of all people, should be aware of this, because Scripture plainly tells us these things.  But Judas was good at his craft and so are his offspring.  Jesus was never deceived by him of course, but the rest of the disciples were, and they were in rather intimate contact with him for 2-3 years.

John 12:3-6 ESV  Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. (4)  But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was about to betray him), said, (5)  “Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” (6)  He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it.

I don’t know if anyone knows if Judas was married or not, but imagine being his wife!  Ah, an eminent apostle of Christ!  What a lucky woman!
In the end, Judas went out and hanged himself.  And so it will be for all wicked, deceitful, abusive human beings who persist in their evil and refuse to repent.  That great Day is coming when everything is going to be brought to light and when much that is being done in Jesus’ name today will be found out to be wood, hay, and stubble.  The chaff will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous (Psalm 1).  Judas can kiss all he wants.  It will do him no good.

[Originally published in December, 2018]

You are of use to the RASN as long as you flatter him

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On January 17, 2024

In Churches/Church Response

Psa 36:2 For he flatters himself in his own eyes that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated.

The wicked (RASNs for our purposes here)…refuse to entertain anything that does not flatter them. As the Psalmist notes, the wicked flatter themselves so as to refuse to see any iniquity in them. The sin, the guilt, the blame is always projected onto someone else. RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) have an astonishing lack of ability to self-examine.

As a result, other people have only one use for the RASN – to be used. And specifically, to be used for flattering and image-building of the RASN. In order to maintain a relationship (and it is a very toxic one) with such a person, you must continue to flatter them, to never point out any flaw in them. Stop doing this and you will no longer be of any use to the RASN.

Recently I was reading a sermon on Ephesians 4:1-5 preached long ago by John Calvin. Listen to what he said:

One of the evil extremes which are customary in this world is that a man will never be accepted by the world unless he flatters. Whoever means to be accepted must be one-eyed, and must shut his eyes when he sees a number of things in his friends worthy of blame.

Sermons on Ephesians, John Calvin, Banner of Truth

It’s true, is it not? If you want to advance in this world – in the workplace or in the church as examples – you must never speak ill of anyone whose favor you would have. You must flatter. That is how the world operates in its sin. Calvin goes on:

And yet in the meanwhile, is not such silence a breach of our faith? For we see that they whom we pretend to love are on the highway to destruction, and entirely hardened in their sin, and yet nevertheless, whereas we ought to waken them, or else to set a mirror before them so that they might see their shame and be ashamed of it, we turn a blind eye to it all. Instead of doing rightly, each one of us flatters the other and cloaks the things which ought to be sharply rebuked, insomuch that those flatteries are no better than plasters to ease the sore, and in the meanwhile to feed the rottenness within.

Ibid

This is in large part the explanation of why RASNs are typically not confronted in the local church. To do so would mean to suffer consequences of an enraged narcissist, to lose his support. Much better it seems to flatter him, to ignore his obvious evil, to throw his victim under the bus, and then we can “all just get along.”

The world’s way is flattery of the wicked. But that is not the Lord Jesus’ way. And it is not the loving way to deal with a person who is headed for hell.

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