Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Tag: church response to abuse Page 8 of 29

More Thoughts on Why an Abuser Cannot be a Christian

Good people never pretend to be evil, but evil people pretend to be good.  Sheep don’t wear wolves’ clothing.  In the beginning, when abuse still had me in the fog and I was a new pastor (the fog can last for years!) I used to think that the many abusers…

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Our Suffering is Not Redemptive – We do not Redeem Others

One of our good friends, knowledgeable about evil and the wickedness of abuse, wrote the following excellent essay. It deals with this common business of people telling us that we need to endure suffering in order to save our oppressor. The scripture she examines is 2 Corinthians 5:21. Many thanks…

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Some More Thoughts on Perpetual Victimhood

I have written recently on this topic of perpetual victimhood, but I believe it is necessary to keep this subject before all of us. I am running into it quite often. It concerns this business of therapy and counseling that keep abused people embracing an identity of being a victim.…

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Let me Tell You the Story of Randy

When I first came to our church here nearly 30 years ago, as I have told you previously, it was a mess. A mass of unconverted people who walked in sin and yet had been assured for years that they were surely fine Christians. One of those people was Randy.…

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Twisted Theology Produces a Den of Abusers Parading as the church

With remarkable frequency we meet abuse victims, mostly Christians, who originally met their abuser in a local church. Or in a Christian college or similar setting. In the church! Why? How can this be? Well, the answer is not only that abusers are exceptionally deceptive, but churches far and wide…

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Words of Wisdom About Abuse

My friend Joenne posted this on her facebook page and I asked her if I could post it here. This is truth here. Thank you Joenne! October is Domestic Abuse Awareness month, so just a little food for thought. I am not angry, bitter or unforgiving toward anyone, God has…

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Right Back at Ya! The Abuser’s Tactic of Reflective Blaming

Recently I had a refresher course in abuser tactics. Not in a classroom, but in real life. I need these reminders to help me continue to learn how to put into practice what I have learned about abuse. Necessary, because we all so easily revert to our old errors we…

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One Bad Apple…

Ecc 9:18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good. Our friend Lynn sent me the following words along with a great picture of two pears hanging from a tree, touching each other. I didn't put the picture here because I wasn't sure about the…

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The Do-Nothing Pastor

Joh 10:12-13 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. (13) He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the…

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Zeal Without Knowledge: Bible Interpretation that Leads to Mercilessness and Injustice

I have written on this subject and on the following Scriptures in other posts. But they have been on my mind again the last few weeks. I keep seeing them violated by Bible teachers, pastors, and counselors of a certain type. Recently I have seen this “zeal without knowledge” pattern…

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