There are popular “ministries” out there that focus on the issue of domestic violence. They can and do provide some good help to victims, but even though they profess to be Christian and biblical in their core beliefs and methods, they are fundamentally flawed in regard to Christ and the gospel. You need to beware because groups like this can end up enabling your abuser and guilting you as the victim.
Here is a real life example of these things. It is taken from the website of one such well known group. It says that it works to educate church leaders and counselors to this end:
As a church leader, learn how to shepherd both the victim and the abuser in a way that honors God and provides safety and accountability for all involved.
Now, think this through. How is anyone going to “shepherd” a wolf? How? This statement means that the wolf is going to be regarded as a sheep. How is it that we are supposed to provide “safety” for the wolf? And what is the inevitable effect of this approach going to be for the victim of the wolf? I think you know the answer?
The Bible never tells us to shepherd a wolf! It tells us to be discerning and not be duped by a wolf in wool. We are to put such a person out from among us, not pet him and tell him “poor wolf. You just don’t understand how much God loves you and we are going to teach you so that the good in you breaks forth.”
I don’t know precisely why, but I do know that these kind of ministries gather a large following and enjoy popularity in the professing Christian world. I suppose it has to do with what Paul said to the arrogant Corinthians:
1Co 5:1-2 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. (2) And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.
This kind of unbiblical theology allows man to pat himself on the back for being soooo loving and merciful and gracious to everyone. It really fancies itself a better Christian than Christ!
Watch out then for any person or group that takes this approach to dealing with evil. Inevitably they add to the fog and confusion that abusers love to spread.