Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Honor is not about Deserving – Really?

Recently a young woman whose father was a very wicked and counterfeit “Christian” pastor, posted on social media that she grew up under this evil and that she works to expose such creeps (my word) when she can.

Of course, your so typical holiest-of-all-saints comes along and drops this bomb on her:

Honor is not about deserving it, it’s about loving Christ enough to honor our parents even when they don’t deserve it. I am praying for you to remain soft-hearted in this hard place.

I doubt that this guy will ever see this post, but just in case he does, let me give him some words of counsel – close your mouth. Stop talking. You are not wise about evil, you are twisting the Bible, and you are perpetuating this evil man’s wickedness upon his victim. Of course, this kind of person will never listen – they just write us off as being judgmental, harsh, and well, simply not christian enough.

But let’s consider someone who we can be pretty sure is a model of Christianity we can trust and follow. He said:

Mat 10:34-37 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. (35) For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. (36) And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. (37) Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

There is soooo much wrong and cruel to this business of “God commands us to honor people even if they don’t deserve it, and if you don’t it is because you are hard-hearted.” What does the Bible mean by “honor”? Does it mean covering up a wicked father’s evil? Does it mean continuing in relationship with him? Does it mean enabling him to target more victims? Of course not.

I like to take these kinds of terrible statements right back to God. Who does God honor? That is to say, how does God relate to and regard a wicked man who abuses others and wears a saintly disguise? We don’t have to wonder:

Mat 23:27-28 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. (28) So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

Honestly, we are surrounded by so many “christians” who actually think the Christ was not very Christian. He really blew it, you know, when He talked like this to these religious leaders who surely He should have “honored,” right? And then there was that whole whip and turning over tables incident.

These kind of people who expound this “honor everyone even if they don’t deserve it and if you don’t you are guilty before God” – nonsense, are a dime a dozen in the churches today. And guess what? When it comes down to someone being oppressed by an evil person who parades as a Christian, this kind of fellow will be the first to cast a stone on the victim. Beware of this kind. They have and will do you much harm.


He is Just the Nicest Man I’ve Ever Met — Beware the Charm of Evil


If A Victim Divorces Her Abuser, She is Going to Hell – Really?


  1. Noka

    “As snow in summer and rain in harvest, So honor is not fitting for a fool.”
    ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭26:1

    “Like one who binds a stone in a sling Is he who gives honor to a fool.”
    ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭26:8‬ ‭

    Wanna know how stupid the Bible considers a person who honors someone who doesn’t deserve it? Try this proverb. Bind a stone to a sling and shoot with it. See what happens.

  2. Leanne


  3. Jacob

    False Christians make me Physically ill. Pastors that prey like wolves on the congregation and are false witnesses get the first seat in hell. No point in arguing with them as I have tried this. Better to flee and find Gods true Church. 1 Peter 4:17

    For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?

  4. Susan

    Exactly! In order to make my exit from a congregation headed by one of these wolves I had to leave many family members behind who somehow didn’t see this man’s truly evil nature. But I did flee and I did find God’s true church…it was only 1 mile down the road.

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