Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen Page 8 of 88

The Wrath of the Lamb Awaits the RASN

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On September 18, 2024

In Abusers, Hell, Narcissist, RASN

Then the kings of the earth and the great ones and the generals and the rich and the powerful, and everyone, slave and free, hid themselves in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains, calling to the mountains and rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who is seated on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, for the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?” (Rev 6:15-17)

The wrath of the Lamb. That is an interesting phrase, isn’t it? A Lamb and Wrath. Have you ever seen a lamb that is so frightening that you run and hide from it? And yet here we have it. Hide us from the wrath of the Lamb.

That Lamb is, of course, the Lord Jesus Christ who, as the lamb of God, became our Passover lamb to bear our sins on the cross. Like a lamb led to slaughter, he did not open his mouth. What John is telling us here in Revelation however is that the One who came as that Lamb to bear our sins, is coming again. Only this time He will come as the exalted Son of God, King of kings, perfect in holiness and justice and against Whom no one can stand.

Our churches today typically are emphasizing Christ as a lamb. Meek and mild Jesus. People don’t fear Him. They want to pick him up and cuddle that infant in the manger. But the Lamb is also the One who hates evil, who is infinitely holy, whose justice will never ben denied. He is the One who is described as a “consuming fire,” whose wrath is quickly kindled (Psalm 2).

For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
(Heb 10:30-31)

The Lamb gave us glimpses of His holy wrath against sin when He was in this world:

And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables.
(Joh 2:15)

He even gave us a glimpse into that great Day when He comes to judge the world:

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. (Mat 25:41)

And Paul tells us the same thing:

…and to grant relief to you who are afflicted as well as to us, when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, inflicting vengeance on those who do not know God and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might, (2Th 1:7-9)

This is our Lord. This is Jesus. But the wicked do not fear Him. They will, but now now. “There is no fear of God before their eyes.” RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) do not fear Him. But they will. They would rather be buried alive than to face the wrath of the Lamb on that Day. Even right at this moment, every RASN, along with every other sinner who has rejected Christ, is in flames of torment. We know they are because the Lamb told that parable of the rich man and Lazarus:

The rich man also died and was buried, and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.’ (Luke 16:22-24)

Relief is coming to Christ’s people who are persecuted by evil ones. Your RASN will receive justice – eternal justice. Because the Lamb is coming to judge the world.

Some Red Flags that Give the RASN Away

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On September 14, 2024

In Abusers, hubris, Narcissist, RASN

3 John 1:9 I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority.

RASNs are not rare. I group these four toxic types together in this RASN acronym (Revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) because, for instance, narcissists revile (abusive speech), they abuse and some may well be sociopaths. I am not a psychology expert so my terminology here is my own but I write from sad experience of running across these RASNs more often than I could count.

Let me give you some examples of RASNs in action and how their behavior is a clear red flag – “look out for this one! They are trouble.” I may well have shared these examples before, but repetition never hurts and after all, these are examples I have firsthand knowledge of.

Red Flag #1 – A self-appointed authority to control you. When my wife and I bought a house many years ago and we moved out of the church-owned parsonage, one of the church board members said (at a church board meeting in front of everyone), “Pastor, your new house is 15 miles from the church building. You are distancing yourself from your congregation and you will have no accountability there.” Now, what kind of a person says such a thing? I can tell you – a RASN. This guy was angry because he was losing control – he was not going to be able to “watch” the pastor as closely. Of course at the time in my naivete, I chalked this behavior up to this fellow just being a “difficult” person. It was far more than that.

Red Flag #2 – A similar instance happened when I announced that I was going to be preaching a series of sermons on Romans, chapters 1-8. A RASN came up to me and with great energy said, “You should not be doing that! Those chapters are about evangelism and the church needs to be about building up the saints!” Again, what kind of a person says such a thing – who actually tries to dictate the pastor’s sermon series? I can tell you. A RASN.

Red Flag #3 – In an airport, a man and his wife were heading toward the gate of their departing flight when the wife said, “I need to go in the restroom. Here is one right here.” Her husband held onto her hand and said, “No. You have to wait and go later.” What kind of person dictates their spouse’s bathroom breaks? I can tell you. A RASN.

Red Flag #4 – A Sunday school class teacher launched into a harangue against a well-known candidate for political office. Not only was such a subject very inappropriate on a Sunday in a class that was supposed to be studying the Bible, but this man knew very well that most of the people in the class approved of that candidate. His mission actually was to prove to everyone that they were fools and that he was the wise one. What kind of person does such a thing? A RASN.

I could go on and on, but my point is that these kinds of things are not mere yellow “possibility” flags. They are RED flags that identify the RASN. Many times these people worm their way into position and office in the local church where they work to exalt themselves at the expense of others. Each one of the red flags I list in this article are grounds individually to disqualify such a person not only from church leadership, but raise great suspicion regarding their claim to be a Christian. These actions are serious matters and if a church body is wise, they will recognize the gravity of these kinds of behaviors.

The Religious RASN is Heaping Coals upon his Head

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On September 12, 2024

In Abusers

Then he began to denounce the cities where most of his mighty works had been done, because they did not repent. “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for Tyre and Sidon than for you. (Mat 11:20-22)

Many of the RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, and narcissists) that we encounter claim to be Christians. The church is their chosen field of self-enlargement and can even be their hunting ground for victims. In fact, in many ways, everyone in a local church where these creeps creep in among us, will be victimized by the RASN. Some more indirectly by way of the deceptions the RASN employs, presenting himself as the most eminent of the saints, and others more directly as they are drawn into a relationship with the RASN.

The local church, unless we are wise as serpents about evil, is often a field of operation for the narcissist and other evildoers. The pedophile, as we know from sad experience, will come and find opportunity to target little ones, hiding behind a facade of godliness and enchanting personality.

Listen to this wise and insightful statement:

A fleshly, nominal (ie, in name only) hypocritical professor of Christianity will be punished much more severely than a fleshly, nominal, hypocritical person who makes no such claim.

John Brown, Discourses and Sayings of our lord

The RASN, in other words, is heaping up condemnation upon himself as he persists in his sham of religion. This is, of course, true of every kind of religious hypocrite even if they are not a RASN, but the RASN in particular will be storing up wrath upon wrath for himself on the Day when Christ comes to judge the world. Every Sunday when he comes to church, every deed he does in the name of Christ, every word he says which he claims is the Lord’s truth, each time he sits and hears a biblical sermon, the burning coals of God’s wrath heap up. Because behind the scenes he is working his evil, being who he really is, hurting and harming others.

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you. Sing praises to the LORD, who sits enthroned in Zion! Tell among the peoples his deeds! For he who avenges blood is mindful of them; he does not forget the cry of the afflicted. (Psa 9:10-12)

We can take great comfort and hope in these truths. God sees it all. ALL of it. He knows. The RASN’s wickedness may go unnoticed by man, but the Lord hears the cries of the one afflicted by him.

A Diversion Tactic of the “Religious” RASN

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On September 9, 2024

In Abusers, Churches/Church Response

Listen to this insightful quote from a pastor of days gone by (in the 1800’s) regarding how the wicked divert attention from the own evils:

Speculation about theological doctrine is often found in an unnatural union with habitual neglect of moral duty. And among the endless winding paths of the depraved human heart, this is one – to seek in quarrelsome discussions about orthodox versus erroneous doctrine, protection from the shafts of conviction for the person’s own plain violations of the law of God.”

John Brown, Sayings of Our Lord, Banner of Truth

Understand? In applying this tactic to the RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist), it is that practice of diverting attention from his/her own wickedness by injecting some religious subject which lends itself to debate. This kind of RASN habitually presents himself as a religious scholar, able to recite Scripture and present the most minute theories about doctrinal subjects, all the while having the intention of diverting attention away from his own evil life.

This is one reason RASN’s creep into the church, especially when the RASN perceives that a particular church is naive about evil. “Oh, my, what a fine Christian he must be. He knows so much.” But what is really happening is that whenever a discussion, a sermon, a Bible study…starts getting too close in consideration of sin….this kind of RASN will derail the topic and divert the discussion onto some debatable sidetrack.

If we are wise, we must not permit this sidetracking to happen. We must not become people who are caught up in cold, dead orthodoxy whose churches are characterized by a pride of knowledge. RASNs in disguise very often love such places and, concealing their true selves, lurk in the shadows where the light of God’s truth does not expose them.

Freedom is the key to Understanding The Bible’s Instruction on Marriage

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On September 2, 2024

In Biblical Teaching

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Mat 11:29-30)

The Apostles’ instruction on marriage – husbands and wives and how they are to relate to one another – is a topic we tend to steer clear of. Why? Well, first of all, the pertinent passages are so often misused to keep abusers in power and the abused enslaved. But I think there is a second reason as well. We simply are not clear on how this husbands and wives thing is supposed to work according to Scripture. It is not an easy subject and yet, for those of us who believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, there these passages are.

Jesus’ words quoted above about taking His yoke upon ourselves goes a long way in helping us understand these passages such as Ephesians 5 (I quote this at length because it all ties together) –

Eph 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (23) For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. (24) Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (25) Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, (26) that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, (27) so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

(28) In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (29) For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, (30) because we are members of his body. (31) “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (32) This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (33) However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

I conclude that this passage actually teaches freedom for both husband and wife, and I will explain why. When Jesus said that we should take His yoke upon ourselves and that we would find that it is easy and light, not burdensome but restful even for our souls, He is telling us what true freedom is. Freedom is willingly being under the rule of a benevolent, loving head whose law insures the freedom of His subjects. Freedom, in other words, is not to be found in lawless anarchy or autonomy (law unto oneself).

Now, when God’s Word gives these instructions about marriage, it very clearly (and repeatedly) tells the husband he must love his wife. He is to give himself for her. This is God’s Law. Submission to a loving ruler whose law is written for the good of those under the ruler, is freedom.

When a husband rules according to his own law, for his own selfish purposes and glory, then the marriage becomes bondage, not freedom. That kind of ruler is what we call a tyrant whose yoke is heavy and oppressive. This kind is not one which the Lord calls wives to respect and submit to. The whole design is broken you see. It doesn’t function correctly. To submit to a tyrant (sometimes by the way the wife is the tyrant)…to submit to a tyrant has similarities to what Paul rebuked the Galatians for:

Gal 5:1 For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Submit to Christ’s yoke, not to a yoke of slavery. That instruction, I maintain, captures what Paul’s words in Ephesians 5 teach.

Your Thoughts on this Question

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On August 27, 2024

In Abusers, Getting Free

Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. (1Co 7:15)

The question I would invite your comments on is not exactly parallel to the verse quoted above, but there is some correlation. Here is the question:

Why would a person demand to remain married to a spouse who does not want to be married to them any longer”

In other words – here is the common scenario where a RASN is involved – The victim of the RASN announces that he/she is leaving the marriage. Does not want to be married to the RASN anymore. You know how typically this situation plays out – the RASN fights the divorce energetically. Puts all kinds of roadblocks out there to force the departing spouse to remain. Threats – economic, child custody, church discipline, etc. But, I am asking, WHY? Why would anyone want to continue in a marriage when their spouse does not want to be married to them any longer? I mean, what kind of “marriage” is that?

What do you think? What motivates a RASN to demand that the marriage be continued?

A Day of Reckoning is Coming

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On August 26, 2024

In Abusers, Getting Free, hubris, RASN

Enter the rock and hide in the dust From the terror of the LORD and from the splendor of His majesty. The proud look of man will be abased And the loftiness of man will be humbled, And the LORD alone will be exalted in that day. For the LORD of hosts will have a day of reckoning Against everyone who is proud and lofty And against everyone who is lifted up, That he may be abased. (Isaiah 2:10-12)

Many of you have been going through seemingly endless legal maneuvers in the court system. On and on it goes. Your finances are being drained, or perhaps gone already. The court system is a favorite weapon of the RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist). Recently we have seen a new word coined for warfare waged by use of the courts – lawfare.

Now, RASN’s insist that they are waging lawfare for the benefit of the children. Because, the RASN claims, he “loves the kids,” HIS kids, so very much. No, he does not. Fatherly love is not in the courtroom. What the RASN is doing is punishing the children’s mother, threatening to take the children from her, insisting that he be given at least shared custody of the kids. After all, they are his property and he is going to see to it that what he owns remains his.

What RASNs forget is that one Day they are going to be summoned into court to give an account. It won’t be a courtroom in the local courthouse. No, it will be the Lord’s courtroom where the proud look of man is abased, and the lofty arrogance of the evil man will be humbled. That day is coming, and the RASN’s victims can take great hope in knowing this.

Many times in this present world and life, the evil deeds of wicked people go unseen. Sometimes the saying “he got away with murder” is literally true. But in reality, no one gets away with murder. Or with robbery. Or with dragging the victim of his abuse through endless legal battles to wear her down and deplete her resources. No. King Jesus sees it all.

Men will go into caves of the rocks And into holes of the ground Before the terror of the LORD And the splendor of His majesty, When He arises to make the earth tremble.
(Isa 2:19)

Lawfare is going to end one day. The courtrooms of this world will be closed. There will only be one Judge and one courtroom – the courtroom of Jesus whom God the Father has made Judge of all the earth. None of your RASN’s evil tactics are going to work then. His arrogance will be laid low, he will wish for a cave in the rocks to hide in, and he will end in hell – guilty as charged.

The Fallacy of Counseling Without the New Birth

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On August 17, 2024

In Abusers, Counseling

A man of this world, exposed only to worldly influences [devoid of the Spirit] – to influences arising from the present sensory things – from ‘all that is in the world, the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life, which are of the world and not of God,’ – may become worse, but he will never become better.

John Brown, Geneva Commentary on Galatians

Many if not most local churches, pastors, counselors, and professing Christians, believe they can make an evil person ‘better.’ This fallacy is at the heart of most of what parades as “Christian” counseling today. If only they can expose the domestic abuser, for example, to enough positive influence, surely he/she will see the error of their ways and amend. That is the idea.

It is not the idea of the Bible.

When a sinner is born again through faith in Christ, far more happens than just forgiveness of sins (which itself of course is a wonderful thing). The sinner is made a brand new person – a new creation who is now a citizen of the new world to come – the kingdom of God it is called. He is given a new heart where there used to be a hardened, unbelieving heart set totally against the Lord. He is given a new mind which is continually renewed so that increasingly his mind conforms to Christ’s truth. His conscience is cleansed. He hears Jesus, he is taught the truth as it is in Jesus, he is led by the Spirit within him.

1John 3:9-10 No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God. (10) By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.

All of these things are true of EVERY genuine Christian. NONE of them are true of counterfeit Christians.

Now, with all of these things in mind, how is it that so much of what claims to be Christendom denies that these truths are not true? How is it that so many professing Christians in thought and practice insist that a person who walks in sin, who abuses his/her spouse, who has a sense of entitlement and superiority over others, who is enslaved to porn…is still a Christian but who just needs the counselor’s “help.”?

Helping a real Christian understand the evil of abuse which they have been subjected to, to help them see how this evil thinks and what its tactics are – now there is valid counseling. Teaching from God’s Word truth that sets us free in other words. Not God’s truth mixed up with man’s psychology and “wisdom.” No, the pure truth of God’s Word.

When Paul told the Corinthian church to expel the wicked man from among them (see 1 Cor 5), he did not tell them to send him to counseling so he would see the error of his ways. No, he told them to have nothing to do with him, not to associate with people who claim to be Christians but who walk in sin. Paul did not tell them to “fix” the guy. Put him out into the world where he belongs!

Many of you have probably felt sometimes, having been the target of evil, like that poor woman Jesus healed:

Luke 8:43 And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone.

Only when her path crossed with Christ’s was she healed. How many of you have trusted and trusted and hoped and hoped that all these “physicians” would surely be able to “heal” your abuser and make him a changed man? It didn’t work, did it? Hopes up. Hopes dashed. Over and over again. The foundational problem is that a domestic abuser or RASN of other varieties is simply unsaved, dead in his sins, a slave to the devil, desiring the same things as his infernal father. Such a man will never get better. He will (count on it) get worse.

We Cannot Say this Enough – RASNs Believe they have the Right to Dictate What You Think

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On August 12, 2024

In Abusers, Evil

Tyrants are all about control and power. Dictators in the political realm, for example, demand to control not only what you say, but what you think. You don’t have the right to hold an opinion that differs from theirs. If you do and the tyrant finds out, expect a vicious attack.

I have written on this subject before but it is a topic which continues to amaze me. Think of it. What kind of person believes that they have the right to control your thoughts? Not only must you never SAY anything negative about them, you are not even allowed to THINK anything negative about them. The thing is incredible.

RASNs don’t ask you what your thoughts are, they TELL you what your thoughts are to be. You cannot have a real discussion with them, sharing a different point of view and talking about it. Nope. It’s not allowed. They rage and they belittle if you do.

A narcissist is exposed when they believe someone holds a different view on some subject than they. They can’t leave it alone. They must show you that you are a fool and that you had better get your thinking in line with theirs.

Of course there are subjects which we as Christians do not allow for differences. The deity of Jesus Christ for instance. No wiggle room there. Justification by faith alone in Christ alone is another truth we will not compromise on.

But generally these are not the kind of subjects the RASN will enforce with the spirit of tyranny. No, his raging strikes out over topics which to any reasonable person DO have wiggle room for differing opinions. What kind of vehicle is the best. How to perform a certain task. You are expected to conform your thoughts to his.

I have seen narcissists launch into a frenzy when they realized that I did not agree with them. One literally thrashed around on the couch in my office in a tantrum. Another slammed down his book, stormed across the room double time, and let me know he had to confront me for mentioning an opinion which differed from his.

This is evil. These kinds of people really believe that their opinion is the only one that is right and the only one that is to be tolerated. No one else dare even THINK differently than they. It is from the pit energized by the father of lies himself.

The Power of Words – For Good or For Evil

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On August 9, 2024

In Blog News

I wrote a post on this important subject this morning. Here is the link. I am posting it here so that those who don’t follow my lightfordarktimes.com blog will see it.

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