1John 2:26 I write these things to you about those who are trying to deceive you.
Truth is clarity. It is light, and it enables us to see clearly. But evil trades in the fog, in the darkness. Evil creates confusion. It wears a disguise to hide what it really is. And so things go when we are dealing with a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist).
We all start out in life pretty naive. We assume people close to us love us and want the best for us. Even children of wicked parents begin by believing that mom and dad love them. The thought that in fact they do not doesn’t really cross their mind in the early stages. And sometimes those “early” stages continue for many, many years.
If you have had the unhappy experience of dealing with a RASN, let’s say – an abusive spouse for instance – then if you have come to more clarity about abusers, you can look back and spot “red flags.” Then, if you are like me, you beat yourself up for being so stupid as to not have seen those warnings. But we shouldn’t do this to ourselves. The culprit is the evil, not our stupidity.
Evil casts a fog like one of those Hollywood movie set fog maker machines. Because evil people trade in deceit and lies and disguises – wolves in wool – they create a fog of confusion. We have in our minds the positive notion of who they are so that even when they launch a missile against us, we don’t realize we are being fired upon. They didn’t mean it. They are my friend. We tell ourselves these things, make excuses for the RASN, and even defend them to others who witnessed the missile launch. “Oh, no, he/she loves me. They are really a good person. They just used bad judgment/were having a bad day/I pushed their button….”. And so it goes.
But later, often much, much later, after we awaken from our slumber of naivete, we look back and realize that in fact all of those “bad days” were really attacks on us. That the RASN meant those things for evil toward us. Really. They really did. And then the far-reaching implications start rolling out in our minds – this person is not the person I believed him to be. He/she doesn’t love me and never did. The RASN is motivated in everything they say and do by the demand for others to worship them. To serve them. To exalt their self-created idolatress image. The image is everything. Touch that image and you will be punished.
These realities are not pleasant to face. I suppose this is one reason why we go so long living in a blind denial. I mean, who wants to admit that this person who has been your “friend” or spouse or family member – only hates and uses you? And yet, as our Lord said, it is the truth that sets us free. It clears away the fog and enables us to see rightly.