The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin. Proverbs 10:8

“You talked about me!!” I have heard that angry outburst directed at me far too many times. It always comes from a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist) when they learn that you have confided in someone about the RASN’s flaws and/or sins. RASNs hate you for it and seek revenge.

Why?

It is because RASNs demand power and control. To obtain these, they wear a mask. They are very shame-based people and the number one fear which they have is that their true self will be exposed. They live their lives, day after day, promoting and wearing their chosen disguise. That is why they are often very highly regarded – so intelligent, so caring, such a fine Christian – and so on. They are like the Pharisees whom Jesus exposed and they hated him with a murderous hatred for it-

Matthew 23:25-28 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. (26) You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean. (27) “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. (28) So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

So it is not surprising that RASNs hate those closest to them. In the case of a spouse, the RASN knows that their husband or wife knows them for what they really are. That is why domestic abusers, for instance, often threaten their spouse with “you are never to speak about what goes on in this house with anyone.” Or else, right?

Now, the exposed RASNs threatening, angry outburst – “you have been talking about me!” – reveals the very reason why their rage-target talked to someone about them! Because you CANNOT talk to a RASN about their sins or flaws. It isn’t permitted. You only exist to feed the ego, to be the supplier of praise which the narcissist demands. So, naturally, if the victim of the RASN is ever going to confide in anyone about what is really going on in, for instance, their home, that is going to have to be someone besides the RASN.

Unfortunately, some of these people that the victim confides in are not trustworthy. They blab. They tell. Did the victim have any ill-motive for talking about what they are suffering at the hands of the RASN? No. They simply needed to talk to someone about their suffering. This is why domestic abuse victims, for instance, so typically don’t tell. Or if they do talk to someone, they begin by revealing only a bit of what is really going on in their home.

So, all of you RASNs out there who scream and yell and punish when “she talked about me!!” – you have only yourself to blame. You won’t receive criticism. You are incapable of self-examination. You forbid anyone from not only speaking negatively about you, you forbid them from even THINKING negatively about you. You are, in other words, the fool of Proverbs.