Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
The RASNs (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist) words are anything but gracious. In sooo many ways they are, as Paul puts it in Romans, the poison of asps, a stabbing sword. And one very common way RASNs use their words to inflict harm is by speaking in a way so as to make their target feel stupid. Let me give you an example.
Many years ago when I was a new pastor, we lived way up in the mountains of western Montana. In our church, though as I recall they were not members, there was a couple who evidenced no real signs of being born again. The husband worked for the forestry department and also had a pack of hounds which he used to chase cougar. Every winter we got lots of snow, so we would see all kinds of various animal tracks when we were out in the woods – deer, elk, cougar, marten, rabbit and so on.
Well, one day when we had not lived there very long, I saw what I thought must be cougar tracks in the snow following a creek back in the woods a couple miles from out home. So I told this man about it and he wanted to come and look at the tracks, which he did. I pointed them out to him and he looked at me like I was an idiot, making me feel stupid just from his tone and expression. The reason was that these were dog tracks, not cougar prints. I asked him what the difference was and he told me and it made sense. If you have a house cat, then you know that their claws retract, while those of a dog do not. So a dog’s track will show their claw while a cat track (like a cougar) will not. I was glad to learn that, but I wasn’t happy to be made to feel stupid.
Now, this fellow was a fool when it comes to the truly important matters of life. Things like his soul, the character of the holy, holy, holy God, that he was born into sin, and so on. His real sinful nature evidenced itself in the incident with the cougar tracks. Why does a person feel that they need to exalt themselves and ridicule anyone who doesn’t know something that they know? It is because of the arrogant sin in them. Because of their mindset of entitlement and self-appointed superiority.
And this is exactly how RASNs operate. They characteristically want to make those they want to control feel stupid. Often, because we don’t realize just what a RASN is, we end up feeling that we are stupid. This tactic is meant to put us under the RASNs control. I have seen this evil weapon used soooo often against me and against others. It is wicked. A wife, for instance, who is married to a domestic abuser, very typically comes to believe that she really is stupid and worthless, when in fact she is quite intelligent and wise. But that intelligence is a threat to the abuser’s control so he works to erode it.
The real fool is the one who wants to make others out to be fools, and to do so for his own self-glory and self-exaltation. Don’t fall for it.
Cordelia
At work, the “manager” (but not of his own wretched emotions), without fail employs this tactic. No matter what is asked his 1st response is always, “Huh?!” as if questions are poised incorrectly or no one knows what they are talking about or need. He has viciously, verbally attacked a few employees in front of many in the office. I can tell from others’ whisperings about me (that I’ve overheard unbeknownst to them) that he actively talks about me behind my back and has left room for them to join in. But they are too daft to realize they are targets of the same behavior by him when they’re not around. He has daily chats with one female employee (of 3 years that sits only a few feet from him); she thinks her ideas, opinions, beliefs are the royal flush of life! [haha]; he entertains it! She thinks because he engages with her that she’s somehow special to him. Nope. When she was out sick, he referred to her as “What’s her name” and “That one over there” (in a derogatory tone while pointing directly at her desk). That’s how much she *really” means to him–nothing. Can’t even be bothered to use her name.
Game over…..
The possible cougar track story is 100% a RASN situation. Could picture the whole setting, down to the RASN’s condescending comments over something most of the entire world would not have known!!!!!
The wicked person you described fits a RASN to a T ……am also thinking of an assigned co-worker …. A deceiving, gossip-starting, horrible, person who…. when I first met him he gave me chills and I avoided him and his awful, eerie, “humble” creepy duplicitous smile, and that ghastly dark stare – that pierces you from behind (literally feel the dark stare from behind you). And that change in his voice as he talks down to those he is threatened by and how it again changes as he inflates those he can turn into his messengers. Whenever he throws his condescending “I’m so perfect and you’re an idiot” type comments out like daggers headed straight at you……in some backwards way….. it is at the same time an uncomfortable yet sweet affirmation. W-a-y back at the first encounter with him the RASN siren was going off – the Holy Spirit was loud and clear….. and every day since then it remains.
The disguises the RASNs wear can only hide them for so long before their masks fall……. and once they know you know….. it’s game over.