Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Tag: counseling Page 15 of 16

"God Can Save Anyone" – A Common Line Used to Keep Abuse Victims in Bondage

Heb 3:18-19 And to whom did he swear that they would not enter his rest, but to those who were disobedient? (19) So we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief. You hear this all the time from pastors and professing Christians - God can save anyone. There…

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Domestic Abuser Intervention Programs Don't Work – Don't Get Drawn in by Them

As most of our readers probably know, I always tell abuse victims these two things: Abusers never change, and A marriage to an abuser does not need to be fixed, it needs to be ended. I advise people to base their decisions about whether to leave, whether to stay, and…

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Beware of the Popular Domestic Abuse "Advocates" Who insist they can Fix Abusers

1Co 5:11-13 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler--not even to eat with such a one. (12) For what have I to…

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Abuse and Pre-Marriage Counseling: We Must Change Our Approach+

There are scores of books written and designed to be used to counsel engaged couples, purporting to make them better prepared for marriage.  Many pastors insist on pre-marriage counseling before they will agree to perform a wedding.  I am sure that their intent is good, but frankly, I have never…

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**Will Your Church Leaders Stand With You Against Your Abuser? 3 Ways to Know+13

With some regularity I hear from people who tell me that they are on board with this issue of domestic abusers hiding in the church. They are excited that their pastor has "really had his eyes opened" and is "promising to stand with abuse victims." And I have heard the…

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**A Common Claim – "Only God can Judge"+10

1Co 5:12-13 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? (13) God judges those outside. "Purge the evil person from among you." I was reading a commentary on Matthew this morning and came across the following statement…

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**Abuse Victims are Being Thrown to the Lions in Local Churches+7

1Co 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. This passage of…

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When a Pastor Claims to be God's Prophet: Wicked and Harmful Words to an Abuse Victim

A victim of a very deceitful, habitually lying abuser shared an interaction she had with the pastor of a church she and the abuser attended. We thank her very much for allowing us to publish what this pastor told her. As is so typical, you see here the incredible arrogance…

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Solomon, Two women, and Counseling

Most of you know that counseling married couples together in an abuse situation is a serious error. It just is not to be done. The wicked one will simply lie, wear a mask, and afterwards use the session to further attack his victim. As I was thinking about this recently,…

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Marriage is not Hard – You Have been Lied to

Gen 2:23-24 Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." (24) Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they…

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