I received an email today from ACBC announcing a broadcast called “Help for Single Women Longing for Marriage.” To get an idea what the content of that session is, all you need do is skim an article they included with the advertisement. It was written by Amber Komatsu (I have no idea who she is) and is entitled “Gender Roles and the Single Woman.”
One of the worst dangers of this kind of thing is that it sounds sooooo “biblical,” right? But I can tell you that this stuff does not play out well. In practice, what this gal is saying, and which the ACBC endorses and teaches, is sheer patriarchy that wicked abusers are going to jump right on and use against their victims.
Here is an excerpt from the article – Triggered warning. Now, I know my criticisms here are going to cause me to be charged with being some “liberal unbeliever” who doesn’t believe God’s Word. Well, I do believe God’s Word. I believe the Bible is the inerrant, inspired Word of God. What I don’t believe is the distortions of God’s truth that are packaged up so often just like this. Tell me what you think of what she is saying:
June 14, 2016
Gender Roles and the Single Woman
Fully Woman, Married or Single
As I lived year after year as a single woman, and saw many of my friends marry and have children, I began to feel as if I was missing out on spiritual growth and being complete as a woman. I felt that when the Bible spoke to women, it spoke primarily to women who played for “team marriage.” I wasn’t on the field just yet. My purpose in the Kingdom felt blurry. As I began to think through and understand Scripture, several truths became clear to me.
The single woman can practice being a helper in many different areas (Genesis 2:18) In Genesis 2, God created woman to be a helper to the man. This, of course, is in the context of being a helper fit for a husband. The single woman does not serve any one man, but she is still able to cultivate a heart that helps and serves. Sarah, a dear friend of mine, lives her life serving and helping her local church, families in her church, her boss at work, and her friends and family. In fact, whenever Sarah’s name is spoken by people who know her, it is always spoken with a smile and an acknowledgement that she excels in serving many.
The single woman can affirm and encourage male leadership (Genesis 2:15, I Cor. 14) Men should be leaders in the home and in the church. Single women have the chance to encourage this leadership by the way they interact with other men. Some practical ways to encourage male leadership are asking single brothers to lead in planning social gatherings, asking men who are present at meals to bless the meal, encouraging and thanking elders and deacons for their work in the church, and writing notes of encouragement to married couples and praising the Lord for the good leadership the husband is evidencing in his family.
The single woman can cultivate a posture of submission to her God-given authorities (I Cor. 14:34) A woman should cultivate a posture of submission in her singleness to her earthly authorities, whether her parents, a pastor, a boss, or anyone else in authority to her. A woman should do this for two reasons: First, Jesus commands it, and she’ll look more like Him in her obedience. This is valuable whether she is married at 21, at 71, or never. Second, when a single woman learns to submit to and honor authorities God has placed in her life, earthly marriage will simply be an easier transition than had she not.