Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Tag: church response to abuse Page 27 of 30

Let's Put This "But he hasn't physically abused you" Nonsense to Rest Once and For All

Listen to these far too common words from a pastor to an abused wife who has gone to him for help. The abuse has occurred for decades, habitually, without repentance: From what I have been told, you have suggested that your husband’s looking at inappropriate images on the internet is…

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"God Can Save Anyone" – A Common Line Used to Keep Abuse Victims in Bondage

Heb 3:18-19 And to whom did he swear that they would not enter his rest, but to those who were disobedient? (19) So we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief. You hear this all the time from pastors and professing Christians - God can save anyone. There…

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Come Out From Them and Be Separate – "But He's Your Husband"

2Co 6:14-18 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? (15) What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? (16) What agreement has the temple of God with idols?…

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Domestic Abuser Intervention Programs Don't Work – Don't Get Drawn in by Them

As most of our readers probably know, I always tell abuse victims these two things: Abusers never change, and A marriage to an abuser does not need to be fixed, it needs to be ended. I advise people to base their decisions about whether to leave, whether to stay, and…

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There is No Neutrality, No "Innocent" Bystander When We See Abuse

John 7:12-13  And there was much muttering about him among the people. While some said, “He is a good man,” others said, “No, he is leading the people astray.” Yet for fear of the Jews no one spoke openly of him. Let us hear what Judith Lewis Herman says about…

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The Abusive Marriage Wrongly Seen as Pious Asceticism

Colossians 2:16-23 ESV Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. (17)  These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. (18)  Let no one…

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Beware of the Popular Domestic Abuse "Advocates" Who insist they can Fix Abusers

1Co 5:11-13 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler--not even to eat with such a one. (12) For what have I to…

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Who do we Really Want in our Churches? – Is "Everyone" Welcome?

Rev 2:14-16 But I have a few things against you: you have some there who hold the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to put a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, so that they might eat food sacrificed to idols and practice sexual immorality. (15) So also you…

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False Teaching About "Gossip" Frequently Silences Victims+

A few years back I received a copy of a small book written by Pastor Marc J. Grimaldi entitled Gossip: The Church Killer. It included a letter from Pastor Grimaldi which indicated he had sent out a copy of his book to pastors such as myself. He said in the…

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Ephesians 5:11 and Exposing Evil – A Real Case

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible . (Eph 5:11-13) Jesus exposed evil. The Light of the World…

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