Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen Page 50 of 88

Focus-Shifting: It's The Tool of Blame-Shifting

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On February 24, 2021

In Abusers

2 Corinthians 10:10 ESV  For they say, “His letters are weighty and strong, but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech of no account.”

The real issue at Corinth was the truth of the gospel and the false gospel wicked “apostles” were introducing. They hated Paul and they hated the truth of Christ, but instead of arguing what we might call the “merits of the case,” they changed the focus and made attacks upon Paul’s style of speech and physical appearance.
This business of shifting the focus from the real issue to some detour topic is a sure sign that evil is afoot, working to pull off another “shift” – the shifting of blame.

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Does 1 Corinthians 13 Require us to "Think the Best"?

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On February 22, 2021

In Biblical Teaching

The following comment was made recently and I wanted to share it with you, along with my own thoughts on the issue. This is a very important question and I thank our reader for sharing it. Are we required to always “think the best” of whatever people do or say? After all, doesn’t Paul say in 1 Cor 13 that we are to “believe all things.”  
Here is the comment:

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Please Watch this Video Bible Study – "Does God Love Everyone?"

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On February 19, 2021

In Biblical Teaching

Most of you know that I teach a videocast Bible study on Wednesdays at 10am Pacific time. This last Wednesday I began to deal with the statement that insists “God loves everyone,” and which, covertly also insists that “you better believe this or else.”  It is vital that we get a firm hold on what the Bible says about this subject or else we will be guilted/duped/coerced into further bondage to the wicked.
You can watch the video here. It will take two or three sessions to cover this.

The Trap of Assuming Everyone is "Good"

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On February 17, 2021

In Biblical Teaching

I have had the opportunity recently to watch an ongoing debate (to put it lightly – “war” is probably a better word for it) between professing Christians. I read what they write and listen to them speaking, and I have observed something that just makes me shake my head in amazement. There is an unwritten tradition, a rule if you will, that says that in the church we all must speak “nice” to one another. After all, so goes the assumption, we are all Christians and therefore we are all “good.” Oh, someone here and there might get off track and be mistaken, but we must never stop believing that their motives are good. That’s the thinking, you see. And so in these battles you see the participants calling one another “brother” or going on at lengths to be sure everyone knows that no matter what they say, they don’t doubt the heart of their opponents and everyone just loves one another.  In such settings, it is an absolute no-no to speak of an action or a motive or a person as being evil.
And that, I am proposing, lays fertile soil for the wicked to practice their wickedness unmolested.

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A Chief Reason that "friends" Betray Us

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On February 15, 2021

In Churches/Church Response

John 3:20 ESV  For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.

Many if not most of you have had this experience. You saw it when you asked for help and rescue from an evil abuser. Friends, fellow church members, family members, turned on you and abandoned you.  Why?
Over the years I have observed a very common dynamic, and I have experienced it myself many times. Friends. Seemingly good friends. People whose friendship you enjoyed for even years. People you might have even called your best friend. But then suddenly – and I mean with all caps and boldface, SUDDENLY, virtually overnight, they rejected you and betrayed you. It was like some switch got thrown in their brain so that they didn’t even seem to be the person they were before.
But they were that person. It now simply becomes evident.

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"I will never leave you" – A Certain Promise from the Lord

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On February 10, 2021

In Churches/Church Response

Hebrews 13:5-6 ESV  Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  (6)  So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

The wicked leave and forsake. They abandon. Oh, they stick around physically way too long, but only to destroy. They forsake – which means to abandon and desert. They do it everyday, beginning with their marriage vows. Those of you who have been victims of a domestic abuser know this all too well. Abusers forsake their victim economically, emotionally, physically, relationally – really in every way.

Joshua 1:5 ESV  No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.
Isaiah 43:2 ESV  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.

And of course as quoted above,

Hebrews 13:5b ESV  …for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Now, what I find interesting in this Hebrews passage is that immediately following this promise to never forsake us is this:

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The Pain of Being Shunned – by Tiffany Ridyard

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On February 8, 2021

In Churches/Church Response

 

Galatians 6:2 ESV  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

This article was written by a young lady who has suffered the pain of being rejected by friends and by her church. What was her crime? She and her family escaped an abuser father/husband. For that, they were shunned – marked as “unclean.” Their burden was not borne by the people around them who claimed to be fine Christians, and for that they will one day have to give account. Instead of putting the wicked man out in obedience to Christ (see 1 Cor 5), they put the victims out.
Many thanks to Tiffany for sharing her story with us. Here she is:

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The Error of Regarding the Wicked as Victims of Sin

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On February 3, 2021

In Abusers

Are you weary, are you heavyhearted?
Tell it to Jesus,
Tell it to Jesus;
Are you grieving over joys departed?
Tell it to Jesus alone.
Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus,
He is a friend that’s well known;
You’ve no other such a friend or brother,
Tell it to Jesus alone. [Jeremiah Rankin, mid- 1800’s]

There certainly is a category of sinner who is heavy-hearted and grieving. It is this very type of person the Lord addresses in such passages as:

John 7:37 ESV  On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink.
Matthew 11:28 ESV  Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Such people thirst and are burdened because of their sin and because the Lord has brought them under conviction of that sin in order to drive them to Christ. This is the function of the Law as it thunders condemnation to the guilty.

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The Abuser is a User: an Ab – User

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On February 1, 2021

In Abusers

Galatians 4:17 ESV  They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them.

This morning I was thinking about how, over the years, wicked people have used me. And the thought struck me that “abuser” is a very descriptive word in this regard. Abusers are users. To ab-use is to use someone or something for an abnormal, deviate, twisted and improper purpose.  The prefix “ab” means “off” or “differing from.” Ab-normal then means “off normal. Differing from that which is normal.”
To ab-use then means to use someone or something in an “off” manner as opposed to using for a proper purpose. The wicked use their targeted victims for reasons that are “off” what is a right and healthy use. Let me describe my experience in this business for the purpose of helping you see how it has come at you in your life.

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A Warning Sign – Counselors who are Self-Centered

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On January 27, 2021

In Counseling

Philippians 1:15-17 ESV  Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will.  (16)  The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel.  (17)  The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment.

I wanted to take time in this post to caution everyone in regard to a particular brand of counselor or therapist or pastor or other such person who claims to want to “help” people. There are many kinds who we must be wise to and avoid, but the kind I want to talk about here is the “counselor” who makes the counseling all about themselves. I don’t know if you have met such people, but I have and I have run across them often enough that I felt this warning to be necessary.

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