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Author: Jeff Crippen Page 17 of 88
1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The Lord’s forgiveness is always genuine. It is applied to the truly repentant sinner. When we sin, as the Apostle John says here, and we genuinely confess our sin, the Lord is always, always, always faithful to forgive us. Further, He remains righteous in doing so. His forgiveness is not just some winking at sin, but because of the Cross of Christ our sins are paid for.
But RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) not only refuse to confess their sin, they project their own evil upon others. Blaming, guilting, accusing. They are never wrong.
And sometimes, in a hypocritical show of “godliness,” they inform us that they “forgive” us. The sin is theirs, but they lay it to our account. And that is what this false forgiveness is – an accusation. For forgiveness to be announced, some sin must have been committed – only in this warped twist of reality, the real sinner becomes the forgiver! The innocent becomes the forgiven!
False forgiveness as accusation works as a two-edged sword. It props up the shame image of saintliness in the wicked, and it transfers guilt from the guilty to the innocent. This devilish business is worse than open, hostile accusation because it operates as part of a honey-dripping disguise worn by a very wicked person.
Picture it this way – think of Satan telling the Lord, “I forgive you for all of the wrongdoing you have done to me.” The thing is ludicrous of course, but in fact that is the same thing the RASN does with this false forgiveness business.
The mask of piety will quickly come off when we turn to focus from how we supposedly sinned against the RASN, and insist that we talk about the sins of the RASN against us. So don’t wear the guilt and blame which this diabolic devise is designed to put on you. False forgiveness is a false accusation and it is important that we see it as such.
2Ti 3:1-4 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. (2) For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, (3) unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, (4) treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God;
Focus in on “unloving” in this diabolical list.
We have two dogs – Cinder and Mocha. Previously we had Sadie and Sasha for many years and before them, Brandy and Buster. Our dogs love us. No question about it – dogs are capable of love. Every morning they greet us excitedly as if they hadn’t seen us for a year. They lay down on the couch beside us and put their head in our lap. If we are going somewhere, they plead to go with us.
A classic characteristic of a narcissist (or for that matter, the other categories abbreviated by RASN – revilers, abusers, and sociopaths) – is that they are absolutely incapable of love. They have an astonishing mentality of superiority and entitlement. They are the center of their universe. They use others as a supply of exaltation for themselves. As human beings, they are supposed to love. But they don’t – anything that looks like love in them is just a facade. RASNs are beasts. I won’t say they are animals because that would be an insult to animals. RASNs are sub-human in many ways.
It is sadly common that domestic abusers, for instance, are cruel to animals. One reason is simply because they know their human victim loves that pet and is also loved by that pet. So they want to hurt their spouse by hurting what they love. But I think there is another reason as well. They are cruel to the family dog, for instance, because that dog is more human than they are. That beloved dog makes the abuser look bad because, unlike the evil person, the dog does what a human should do – it loves others.
I think that a very excellent way a surviving and recovering abuse victim can be helped is to have a pet that is high enough up the animal kingdom ladder that it is capable of love. Bob Wiley (What about Bob?) talks to his pet goldfish, but I don’t think a goldfish is going to be a big help in this business. I realize that not all people are able to have a dog, nor do all people have a desire to have one, but I can tell you – a dog (or maybe a cat as an alternative?) is a powerful means of regaining a sense of being loved. I don’t know much of anything about what a service dog does or the theory behind service animals – but I’ll bet this aspect of loving their human is a big part of it.
It is not pleasant to finally come to the realization that someone who was supposed to love you, never did. Doesn’t. Never will. RASNs don’t love, and you can be sure that living year after year with such a “person” (quotes to indicate RASNs are really sub-persons)…you can be sure that it will have a very negative effect on you. Think about it. The vibes are constantly sent out like sonar waves – “you are not worth loving. You have no value. You never do anything right.” Day, after day, after day until the person you once were virtually fades out.
Contrast that with a furry friend who bounces up and down, gives you a few licks, and shows you that you are the center of his world. That is love and the amazing thing is that it is coming from an animal – and never came from the human being who once claimed to love you. Who is more human?
If we neglect the truth of justification (by faith alone in Christ alone), we lose everything. Therefore, it is most necessary that we teach and repeat this above everything else. We cannot have justification urged upon us too often or too much. Even if we learn it and understand it well, none of us grasps it perfectly or believes it with his whole heart. Our flesh is so frail and is often disobedient to the Spirit.
Martin Luther, Commentary on Galatians
When we have to deal with a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist), we find ourselves under regular accusation, shaming, and condemnation. If that source of attack were not enough to overwhelm us, our own frail flesh, as Luther calls it, frequently calls our past sins to mind. At these times we do easily regress into what Luther calls an “active idea of righteousness” which is dependent upon our own works. And in that realm we will only find further condemnation and torment.
The righteousness of Christ is a passive righteousness. It is a righteousness before God which is not obtained through active working on our own to merit His approval. Rather, the approval of God which we call justification or being made right with God, ONLY comes from the performance and work of Jesus Christ. That righteousness is then, by faith and as a gift, credited or imputed to us. This is the only way to be made just before God.
Now, even genuine Christians – people who have truly been born again by faith alone in Christ alone – even we have difficulty grasping this amazing good news. When, as Luther points out, the enemy comes along accusing us and reminding us of our past sins, we can very easily slide into this active righteousness/works way of thinking. I think of the sins I have committed in my life, all of which Satan is very ready to remind me of, and I am ashamed and my conscience terrorizes me.
But while it is right to be ashamed of our sin – as Paul remembered he himself was the chief of sinners because he had persecuted the church – it is a great error to conclude that the Lord is disgusted with and ashamed of me due to the things I have done. Your RASN will happily feed such thinking through his accusations and guilting.
If you are a Christian, then you are not who you used to be. You have been born again and made a new creation in Christ. The Lord is now your Father and you are His beloved child. And most important – you are clothed with a perfect, flawless righteousness by which you have been declared justified before God. It didn’t come from your performance, but entirely from Christ’s perfect obedience to God’s Law for you. And it is a REAL righteousness truly given to you so that it is your own possession, given freely as a gift received by faith, unmerited.
So, we must run from that active, works based righteousness thinking whenever it rears itself up in our minds. Of course our performance in this world has been at times quite shoddy and shameful, and while we now must still battle against sin by the Spirit within us, nevertheless, my standing with God is not at all founded upon my own performance. Not by things which I have done – nope. But by all that Jesus has done. And therein you have the key to a conscience set at peace.
Head on over to my blog at lightfordarktimes.com to read this important post – The Totalitarian Regime of the RASN
Rom 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? (2) May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?
A friend who is pretty fed up with the predominance of a false gospel and counterfeit churches sent this to me recently. It was a sign she saw in a place where a “church” apparently met under a second sign that said “Coffee and Church, the Perfect Blend.” But here is the sign she pointed out to me – “Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people. A heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God.” [Insert vomit mojie here] In other words, always pray that God will strike you with blindness to evil. So apparently these people regard themselves as better Christians that Jesus?
Some years ago when a denominational leader and his wife were visiting us, I outlined the main thesis of my book, Unholy Charade to them, explaining how the domestic abuser so often hides among us in disguise. I told them that this was a particularly wicked form of evil, quite different in its nature and hardness that the typical sinner. Without hesitation, they replied, “But we are all sinners. How can you say one kind is worse than another?” (Note: Jesus Himself said it, for example, when he told the people of Capernaum, and other such cities, that their sin was greater than that of Sodom).
But you have heard this thing over and over again, right? Here, for example, is a husband who is an abuser and a counterfeit Christian and his wife/victim comes to the pastor or to a supposed Christian friend and tells them what is really going on in her home behind the scenes. What is she told? “You know, you aren’t perfect either. Look to your own sin and be forgiving. We are all sinners.” And so the wicked one skates.
John Calvin addressed this very thing centuries ago in a sermon preached on Galatians 6:2-5. He said that this excuse for evil – “We are all sinners” – is actually just that – a statement that excuses everyone for their ongoing, habitual sin. Why do people so often say “we all sin”? It is because this claim excuses their own sin. Here is Calvin:
If I say, ‘This is the thing all are doing – everyone else does it, I am seeking to exempt myself from judgment. I am searching for substitutes who can make good for me before God. But who are they? This ‘everyone who is doing it?’ Each person has enough encumbrances of their own; they are all more than guilty already. How then, can they bear my burden when I throw it upon their shoulders? Is it not therefore, great folly to produce such people as my guarantors when I stand before God? ‘Look at them, Lord, everyone is doing it – so I am not so bad.’ Yet I am seeking to satisfy God by saying that I merely followed the common path, and thus seeking to exempt myself on account of all the rest.
When we say, ‘but we are all sinners,’ we have made ‘everyone’ shields to protect US from God. We act as if the outcome of defying God is in doubt as to who will win. Customs, habits, even lawful (according to man’s laws) practices, ancient rites – where do all these things come from? They exist because men want to be wiser than God, though they are carried along by wicked lusts and though they seek only to give themselves free rein and a license to do evil.
Sermons on Galatians, Banner of Truth Trust
Therefore, as Calvin points out, we cannot claim to have excuses through others who will, on the day when we all stand before God, step forward and in our supposed defense tell Him, “Oh yes, I did that too. We all did it. Don’t go so hard on this poor fellow. We are all sinners.”
Do you see how wicked this “But we are all sinners” business is? Let’s say it again – when someone recites this claim and tells the victim of abuse, for instance, that because “we are all sinners, you are a sinner just like your abuser,” the victim must forgive, be patient, stop judging – what they are really doing is excusing their own sin! They are, as Calvin observed, throwing sinful mankind in the face of God as their defense for their own sin. “God, this is the thing that is done in the world. We are all sinners. You know that. So cut me some slack. I am only human and human beings sin. It’s normal.”
This is why people cling to this horrible claim – “We are all sinners.” It is a facade by which they are trying to evade their own condemnation before God. If everyone is doing it, then it can’t really be that bad. “Go home,” they say to the victim, “and stop being so judgmental.”
This is a huge part of the reason why the visible church is filled with unregenerate people who are walking in sin without repentance, yet being assured that God loves them all no matter what. Preach that lie and you fill the pews. But the pews stink, and God sees it all.
1Sa 2:22-23 Now Eli was very old; and he heard all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting. (23) He said to them, “Why do you do such things, the evil things that I hear from all these people?
Eli’s sons were extremely wicked, so much so that eventually the Lord killed them. But this evil had gone on for a long, long time. Even here in his old age, Eli still didn’t take the action God required of him. He weakly said, “Why do you boys do such things?” Eventually, the Lord severely rebuked Eli:
1Sa 2:29 ‘Why do you kick at My sacrifice and at My offering which I have commanded in My dwelling, and honor your sons above Me, by making yourselves fat with the choicest of every offering of My people Israel?’
Eli was guilty. He actually had been participating in their sins because he was honoring his sons above the Lord.
Now there are some parallels here which we ourselves need to face up to. When we are in a relationship of some type (marriage, friendship, etc) with a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist), we most often pretend. By this, I mean that we overlook, we deny, we assume, we excuse. I have done this far more often than I would like to admit and I bet most of you have too.
Now, there may well have also been elements of commendable motives in this pretending (ie, pretending that things aren’t so bad or that the red flags are imaginary) – commendable motives such as patience, love, forgiveness, and so on. But when the problem exists because we are dealing with a RASN, this all becomes pretending. Living a fiction – a lie, if you will. So, why is this? Why do we pretend?
I can tell you why I have pretended in the past – 1) I was naive as to the nature of evil – and this evil is so deceptive I didn’t see it, 2) I didn’t want to believe the person was a RASN, 3) I almost subconsciously realized that to confront the person would result in a blowup, a war – because RASN’s are always sending out wavelengths of “don’t ever cross me or say anything negative about me, or else,” 4) there were benefits to the relationship which would certainly dissolve if I didn’t keep up the pretense, 5)…….you can probably add to the list yourself.
It is not an easy thing to admit that a person who we believed was our friend, who we thought loved us, and who we depended upon for many things, is in fact wicked. A counterfeit. That the “love” was just a fiction and that if we confront the person with the evidence we have been ignoring for a long time, we are going to suffer great loss. Loss of friendship. Loss of perhaps even custody of children. Loss of our job. Loss of friendships of other people.
So is it any wonder that we pretend? Eli knew, and yet he pretended. And in the end he and his sons perished. Eli participated in his sons’ sin. I have known pastors’ wives who chose to pretend rather than to confront the hypocrisy and abuse of their husband. In so doing, they eventually become participants in the hypocrisy.
I have been guilty of this kind of pretending in years past. I have not said, for example, “you are trespassing in my life. You are violating the boundaries of my personhood by trying to have power and control which you have no right to.” With the Lord’s help, I do not intend to keep doing that.
Luk 18:7-8 And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? (8) I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”
Standing for Christ in a wicked world where RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) and and all sorts of evil abound can be a lonely affair. In fact, we can be assured that it will be. In Noah’s day the church numbered, 8! And before Noah had children he lived for 500 years. In those days the church numbered, most probably, ONE! But Noah persevered in faith as the Lord sustained him.
Here are some great words from John Calvin for just such times as the days of Noah –
We need to note that we should not seek, as the world sees it, great solemnity or ostentation (ie, pretentious displays of wealth and glitter to impress others) in the church. And if on occasion the church is hidden and seems to be trodden under foot and we do not know where to find it, we must not be troubled or offended by that. Why not? Let us allow God to work in His own way. And let us not doubt that He will always keep for himself some people in whose midst He will be worshiped and served.
Calvin’s Sermons on Genesis, Banner of Truth Trust
There have been many times in history, and even at present, when we would think that there was no hope for the church. But God maintains and preserves His church – always. Here is Calvin again:
Therefore, let us put that teaching into practice when it pleases God to let the world go its way, and everyone is like wild animals, when all reject both bridle and yoke, when rebellion in the order of the day and they even throw themselves wildly into evil as if wanting to wage war against God and serve Satan.
When we see all those things taking place and we do not know where to look for faithful believers to keep fellowship with, let us always be convinced that God will take care of His church. So let us not linger among the vast majority. Let us not seek out what looks good; rather let us be content that God will not permit the church to be completely wiped out and that He will preserve some remnant for Himself.
ibid
Very fitting and appropriate words for us today. Elijah thought he was the only one left of God’s people. He was wrong. Seven thousand more had refused to bow to Baal.
Joh 8:44 You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
I have written on this subject numerous times in the past but it really cannot be repeated too often. Satan is a murderer and a liar. Not just a liar such as we think of someone being a liar. But the devil has NO truth in him. So that when he speaks, when his lips are moving, he is lying. Every time. And he gives birth to lies – he is the father of lies.
The Lord Jesus told his enemies that they were the children of the devil. That this liar was their father and therefore they operate in harmony with his nature, which they share.
RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) lie. They lie all the time. As hypocrites they wear a lying disguise. When they gaslight someone, they are lying. Whey they accuse, they are lying. And we must wise up to this. You know the typical scenario in churches, for example. The RASN is believed and his victim is rejected. “Oh, I just cannot believe that he would do such things. I know him.” But you don’t know him. You only know the fake persona he presents.
RASNs can look right at the camera, crocodile tears streaming down their face, and lie. “Please, please help me find my wife,” he sobs. “I can’t go on without her.” And the truth? He murdered her and hid her body someplace. But people are taken in by his lies. Even when he is found out, there are people who still refuse to believe the undeniable evidence of his guilt.
RASNs lie. They speak, and they lie. If you aren’t wise, you will end the conversation just absolutely convinced that the thing is the victim’s fault, that the RASN is an eminently holy saint and he (or she) is the one who is the victim.
Joel Ripkin was a serial killer in the New York area. He murdered 17 women over quite a few years until he was finally caught driving on the highway with #17 in a tarp in the back of his pickup. He never showed any remorse at all. He calmly recounted the horrors he had committed. No empathy. No conscience.
The RASNs we encounter may not be serial killers, but they share the very same lying, murderous spirit of their father the devil. We MUST come to realize that a person can look right at you, calm and collected, and every word coming out of their mouth be a lie.
Gal 5:25-26 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. (26) Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
RASNs (Revilers, Abusers, Sociopaths, Narcissists) are driven by what the Apostle Paul calls, in the old term, “vain glory.” Pride. Selfish ambition. And he warns us against it more than once.
Php 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Those who walk in this evil sin, who are characterized by it, seek a glory for themselves that is a vain glory. Empty. Listen to John Calvin on it in a sermon on this text:
In Scripture, all glorying is seen as vain and perverse, if men are seeking esteem for themselves by it. Pagans use the term ‘vainglory’ to refer to a poor fool who is trying to pass for a clever man, or a poor rascal who is pretending to be a rich man – when a man who is neither dextrous, hard-working, nor hones to any degree, wants to be arrogant and to play at being a wise man. When people deform and disguise themselves to this extent to deceive others, the pagans call this kind of glory vain and foolish.
But the Holy Spirit goes even further than this. He says that even if we have intelligent minds, or abundant wealth, or great virtue, or all that is possible to have to gain renown, and we take the credit for it ourselves, then our boasting is vain. Why? Because it is sacrilegious to rob God of the honor that is rightfully his.
John Calvin, Sermons on Galatians, Banner of Truth***
RASNs, for all of their counterfeit disguise as pious saints which so many of them wear, are astonishingly destructive. Why? Because they are driven by the foolish and evil craving to be exalted above others. It is, as Calvin says, “the deadliest plague that a person who is entrusted with the responsibility to teach others could ever have.” And he adds:
When people push themselves forward in society like this, and seek to be famous and to be applauded by men, it is impossible for them not to abandon themselves to all kinds of evil.
Ibid
“…to all kinds of evil.” This is the RASN’s fruit. Evil of all kinds. But just try to warn such a person against the snare of this trap. What they really are will soon be evident. If you are dealing with a real Christian who is on the precipice of falling to this selfish ambition, they will be convicted, repent, and thank you. But most commonly what we see is fangs when we point out a person’s vain glorying. To the RASN, you are nothing more than a supply for their ego and if you dare cease to give them praise or to call them to accounts, you will be met with murderous hatred. This is why Scripture tells us:
Gal 5:15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.
It is all vanity, this evil selfish ambition. And one day every RASN is going to find out just how vain and empty his/her entire life has been. Standing before the Lord, the RASN will even attempt to use his Creator as a supply of praise for himself. It isn’t going to work.
Mat 7:22-23 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ (23) And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
***By the way, if you would really come to know the real John Calvin, read his sermons. He is well-known for his commentaries on almost the entire Bible, but his sermons really reveal his heart and I have grown to appreciate him greatly. Start with his sermons on Ephesians. You can find that volume at Banner of Truth Trust online.