Betrayal is in the Heart of the Abuser (RASN)

Now it came about after this that Absalom provided for himself a chariot and horses and fifty men as runners before him. Absalom used to rise early and stand beside the way to the gate; and when any man had a suit to come to the king for judgment, Absalom would call to him and say, “From what city are you?” And he would say, “Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel.” Then Absalom would say to him, “See, your claims are good and right, but no man listens to you on the part of the king.” Moreover, Absalom would say, “Oh that one would appoint me judge in the land, then every man who has any suit or cause could come to me and I would give him justice.” And when a man came near to prostrate himself before him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him. In this manner Absalom dealt with all Israel who came to the king for judgment; so Absalom stole away the hearts of the men of Israel.
(2Sa 15:1-6)

Every RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist) is a betrayer – an Absalom. Betrayal is at the heart of the RASN’s evil nature. He or she is a traitor, a worker of treason. Those of you who are abuse victims have experienced this betrayal. The thing is inevitable in any relationship with these kind.

The domestic abuser for instance is a traitor to the marriage vows and thus to the one he married. Think of it. Betrayal necessarily involves some kind of vow, some promise. Judas promised to be a disciple of Jesus. But he was the classic traitor. In wartime a citizen of a country becomes a traitor because they once pledged allegiance to the nation. But then they conspired with the enemy. People who profess to be a Christian, but then turn back to the world are traitors of the highest and darkest order. Demas betrayed Paul in this way.

Betrayal is evil and it is painful. Here is someone who claimed to be your friend or spouse or a brother or sister in Christ. But years go by and as they do that evil seed grows, until one day their rebellion against you comes into full bloom. Of course the thing is never admitted. YOU are to blame, you know.

A true brother or sister in Christ will never betray either the Lord nor His people. When they vow/covenant to be a faithful member of the body of Christ, they keep that vow. We have a church covenant which members subscribe to but over the years very, very few people who signed it and promised their fidelity to Christ and His people here, kept their vow. They betrayed us all and went out from us because they were not of us.

I know what betrayal feels like. I have felt it far too often. A man who claimed to be my friend for over 50 years betrayed our friendship nearly two years ago because I refused to “take sides” (his side, of course) when his wife left him. When he learned that we paid a visit to his now separated wife, who we had also known for many years, he was very mean to us. Half a century of friendship – over. Betrayal.

When we truly love someone, we are loyal to them. If we sin and hurt them, we are grieved and ask their forgiveness. Jonathan was David’s loyal friend, even though that meant being alienated from his father, Saul. Loyal friends, loyal marriage partners, do not betray. They do not have a spirit of treason in them. They love, honor, and cherish ’til death parts us.