Unholy Charade - Jeff Crippen

Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen Page 35 of 89

Why Does the Lord Permit Suffering?

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On August 1, 2022

In Biblical Teaching

I was reading an article recently by one of my very favorites – J. C. Ryle – entitled simply, “Sickness.” It is a chapter in his wonderful book, Practical Religion. Ryle proposes several reasons why the Lord permits even His own people to suffer sickness (and we can apply these reasons to other kinds of suffering as well). Here is what he proposed:

  1. Sickness helps to remind people of death and thus the folly of living one’s life as if they were never going to die and stand before God.
  2. Sickness helps to make men think seriously of God and their souls and the world to come.
  3. Sickness helps to soften our hearts, and teach us wisdom.
  4. Sickness helps to humble us.
  5. Sickness helps to test a person’s religion to demonstrate whether it is true or not.

Now, even though many if not most people fail to see these benefits when they suffer, this only demonstrates the depth of man’s sin and depravity. Sickness, as Ryle says, should be seen as God’s “day of visitation,” to make us think and consider the real and eternal issues of life.

And so, the next time you suffer, do as the old Puritans exhorted us to do – improve upon that suffering. Let the Lord through it improve you and bring you closer to Him.

The Evil Person Has no Foundation

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On July 27, 2022

In Abusers

Luk 6:46-49 “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? (47) Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: (48) he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.

(49) But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.”

As most all of you know, many evil people claim to be Christians. Abusers, revilers, narcissists, sociopaths – the list goes on. They are wolves in wool.

And they are something else – they are fools. Why? Because while he/she hears God’s Word and in many cases can quote it, entering into theological debate and manifesting apparent thorough knowledge of Scripture – such a person does not do God’s Word. He hears it, but does not do it.

Jesus said that a storm is coming. As in Noah’s day, so a great (and this time, final) deluge is heaping up right now. On the day when that dam bursts, two kinds of people will be revealed. Those who heard Christ’s Word and did it, and those who only heard. Sheep and goats. Wheat and chaff. One will prevail because he has laid a sure foundation – the Lord Jesus Christ. The other will perish because he build his house on the sand and will be washed away into hell.

In the early 20th century an entrepreneur came to Tillamook where we live. He had a dream. He was going to build a seafront boardwalk – something to rival Atlantic City. And he did in fact do it. A huge hotel, an indoor salt water pool – people even built homes there. They called it Bay Ocean. Well, if you go there today, other than for a few sparse remnants of concrete, all you will see is sand, beach grass, and the Pacific ocean. Why? Because the waters came. The ocean swept in and in a relatively short time everything eroded away.

There was no foundation. It did not stand.

And that, for all the wicked man’s seeming “wisdom,” is exactly what is going to happen to him one day. Swept away. Gone forever. There won’t even be the smallest sign in the kingdom of God that he ever existed. The wicked are fools. Their sin makes them fools.

How to Put on Christ When You are Accused by the Enemy

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On July 25, 2022

In Biblical Teaching, False Teaching

Galatians 5:1 For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

All Christians and in some ways in particular, those who have been victims of crafty abusers who parade as most eminent and holy Christians, have been the target of false accusations and condemnation, all designed to lead us to despair of having forgiveness of sins in Christ. This is a common tactic of the enemy and we must be wise to it.  Listen to these words by Martin Luther as he comments on Paul’s Epistle to the Galatians:

Let us bear this in mind when the devil accuses and frightens our conscience, attempting to drive us to despair. He is the father of lying and the enemy of Christian freedom; he torments us every moment with false fears, so that when our conscience has lost this Christian freedom, it will feel remorse for sin and condemnation and always remain in anguish and terror.  When that great dragon– that old snake, the devil– comes and tells you that not only have you done no good, but you have also transgressed God’s law, say to him, ‘You are troubling me with the memory of my past sins; you are also reminding me that I have done no good. But this is nothing to me, for if I either trusted in my own good deeds or feared because I have done no such deeds, Christ would in either case be of no value to me at all. I rest only in the freedom Christ has given me.  I know he is of value to me, and so I will not make him of no value, which I would be doing if I either presumed to purchase favor and everlasting life for myself by my good deeds or despaired of my salvation because of my sins.’

Let us learn, then, carefully to separate Christ from all that we do, both good and evil, from all laws, both human and divine, and from all troubled consciences. Christ has nothing to do with any of these.  He does have something to do with afflicted consciences but not to afflict them further, but to raise them up and in their affliction comfort them. If Christ seems like an angry judge or a lawgiver who requires a strict account of our past life, then let us assure ourselves that is not Christ, but a raging fiend. The Scripture depicts Christ as our reconciliation, our advocate, and our comforter. He is and always will be such; he cannot be unlike himself.

The devil will disguise himself in the likeness of Christ and argue with us as follows: ‘You were admonished by my Word and ought to have done this, but you have not done it; you ought not to have done that, and you have done it; be sure that I will take vengeance on you.’ When he does this, we should not let it move us at all but should immediately think, ‘Christ does not speak like this to poor, afflicted, and despairing consciences. He does not add affliction to the afflicted; he does not break the ‘bruised reed’ or snuff out the ‘smoldering wick’ (Isaiah 42:3). It is true that he speaks sharply to the hard-hearted, but if people are afraid and afflicted, he entices them most lovingly and comfortingly (Matt 9:2, 13; 11:28; Luke 19:10; John 16:33).’ We must take good care, therefore, that we are not deceived by Satan’s tricks and receive an accuser and condemner instead of a comforter and Savior. [Martin Luther, Galatians; The Crossway Classic Commentaries]

Pretty good stuff, right? Christian, Christ is your Friend, not your accuser!

Justification by Death??

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On July 20, 2022

In Abusers

Jud 1:14b-15 …“Behold, the Lord comes with ten thousands of his holy ones, (15) to execute judgment on all and to convict all the ungodly of all their deeds of ungodliness that they have committed in such an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things that ungodly sinners have spoken against him.”

I read recently that a little girl asked her mother, “Where are all the wicked people buried?” Her mother asked her why she had such a question. The little girl replied, “Because in the cemetery I play by, I only see on the gravestones good things said.”

And so it is. Justification by death. It seems that all a person needs to do is to die and those who survive inevitably pronounce him in heaven, better off, in a better place, a man who was good at heart.

But the Lord promises His people vindication. He promises to deal out retributive justice to their oppressors. And we are meant to be encouraged by those promises. The wicked who hate the Lord and hate God’s people are not going to “a better place.” Their destiny is certain. It is forever. And it is a place to which the Bible gives very intense, frightening, and terrible names. Such is eternally cast out of the presence of the Lord.

The Danger of Fiction

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On July 18, 2022

In Biblical Teaching

Php 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Whatever is true. As most of you know, I love to read J.C. Ryle. He was an Anglican pastor in the 19th century in England. His books Holiness, Practical Religion, Knots Untied, Old Paths and others are gems. Listen to this quote taken from his article entitled “Love” which is in his book, Practical Religion:

The delusion which I am trying to combat is helped forward to a most mischievous decree by the vast majority of novels, romances, and tales of fiction. Who does not know that the heroes and heroines of these works are constantly described as patterns of perfection? They are always doing the right thing, saying the right thing, and showing the right disposition! They are always kind, and amiable, and unselfish, and forgiving!

And yet you never hear a word about their religion! In short, to judge by the generality of works of fiction, it is possible to have excellent practical religion without doctrine, the fruits of the Spirit without the grace of the Spirit, and the mind of Christ without union with Christ!

Here, in short, is the great danger of reading most novels, romances and works of fiction [And today we would add, movies]. The greater of them give a false or incorrect view of human nature. They paint their model men and women as they ought to be, and not as they really are. The readers of such writings get their minds filled with wrong conceptions of what the world is. Their notions of mankind become visionary and unreal. They are constantly looking for men and women such as they never meet, and expecting what they never find.

Ryle, J.C.. Practical Religion (Kindle Locations 2698-2708). Kindle Edition.

We are bombarded with the notions and doctrines and opinions of famous movie stars who act as if they are authorities on about any current subject. And yet, as Ryle notes, they are purveyors of fantasy. Their lives are masked with fiction. In reality their lives are disasters, sinful, wicked, and filled with misery. If we immerse ourselves in their fictions, we will crash along with them. Our notions of mankind and life and of God and eternity will be, as Ryle says, “visionary and unreal.” If we are careless, we will become people who “are constantly looking for men and women such as they never meet, and expecting what they never find.” (Ryle)

So-called “Christian” movies and novels are very often guilty of the same kinds of fantasy. The victim just keeps on enduring evil and sure enough, in the end, their abuser repents and is radically changed. But that is a fiction. A fantasy. For myself, I would rather watch Batman than a movie produced by a professing Christian company.

I know Batman is a fantasy.

Nope – He (or she) is NOT a Christian

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On July 13, 2022

In Biblical Teaching, False Teaching

1Jn 3:7-8 Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. (8) Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.

1Jn 3:10 By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.

One of the most common lies laid upon us by wicked people, by “well-meaning” but ignorant people – is that a domestic abuser, a seeker of power and control, a “Diotrephes” who lusts to be “first” (see 3 John) – are to be regarded as brethren in Christ – just because they say they are. This willful blindness is said to be “love” and “thinking the best” or “not judging.”

All of this is nonsense in light of God’s Word.

The verses cited above by themselves expose these claims to be false, but if you want more just read through the entire book of 1 John.

1Jn 2:4 Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him,

1Jn 3:14-15 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. (15) Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

A person whose goal is to obtain power and control over others, who is willing without conscience to use evil tactics to obtain that power and control, who works every moment to hide behind a whitewashed disguise, is a fake, a phoney, a wolf in wool incapable of love no matter how hard he works to pretend it.

What are we to do with a wolf in wool that creeps in among us in the church. The answer should be obvious – expose him and put him out of the church. But that course seems to be odious to so many who claim to know Christ. Why? I think that the explanation lies not only in naivete about evil, but in sheer arrogance – “we are better than Jesus. We can reach some island of goodness in this wolf and save him. We will have another notch in our “saved souls log” and everyone will marvel at how loving and brave we are.”

The reality is that the wolf will still be a wolf, and will keep right on devouring the sheep, leading them astray in myriads of ways. I receive regular reports from abuse victims that such wolves are even standing in pulpits each week, pastors (“shepherds”) of local churches filled with people who refuse to see past the disguise. Once in a while the disguise will slip a little (“my, what big teeth you have”) but such slips will be quickly explained away.

Narcissists, sociopaths, domestic abusers and others of their kind are not Christians. They flunk the test – there is no love in them. They may be able to speak with “tongues of angels,” they may have “all theological knowledge,” they may appear to have incredible faith and by it be capable of constructing majestic temples (ie, mega “churches”), but it is all a sham. No love. The love of Christ is the thing that is missing. It is the sure and certain test they are exposed by.

Joh 13:34-35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. (35) By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Beware of Alexander

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On July 11, 2022

In Biblical Teaching, Counseling

2Ti 4:14-15 Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. (15) Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message.

This statement by the Apostle Paul is extremely helpful to us because it shoots down numbers of false guilt trips laid upon people who have been targeted by evil. Notice these things:

  1. Paul names Alexander. He identifies him to others. We are often told (especially in churches) that it is wrong to “gossip” in this way. Not so.
  2. Even the Apostle Paul was harmed by wicked characters like this. Alexander had done Paul “great harm.” We know this coppersmith opposed the gospel, but in doing so he also maligned Paul personally. He did “me” great harm Paul says. We must not think ourselves stupid or guilty of some accusation when these attacks come.
  3. Paul looked to the Lord for ultimate justice on the Day when Christ judges the world.
  4. Paul warned others about Alexander. Beware of him.

This scripture has been a great help to me over the years. Paul’s words here negate many of the false charges and “advice” that are brought against us when we speak out about evil. It is not wrong for an abuse victim for instance to name their abuser and tell others about the evil the abuser is doing. It is not wrong to desire God’s justice upon the wicked. It is not wrong to tell others about the evil and deceptions of a wicked person.

I hope this helps you all as it has helped me.

Pressing on in Christ

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On July 6, 2022

In Biblical Teaching

Act 20:32 And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.

Joh 17:17 Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.

For over a decade now I have been writing and speaking about how evil creeps into the church and hides among us. Specifically, I have focused upon that wickedness of domestic abusers wearing their disguises, parading as the finest and most eminent Christians, all the while oppressing their victims. And I will, by God’s enablement, continue to do so. Exposing this evil. Helping victims of it understand more clearly what they are experiencing and how to get free of it. These are good and necessary things.

However, I am also going to increasingly focus upon ultimate freedom. The freedom that only Christ can give. Because without this focus as well, there is a great danger that victims and survivors of abuse will end up stuck. Treading water, you might say, regarding growth in Christ and never coming to the freedom and enjoyment the Lord intends for us.

It is a good thing to read books about domestic abuse, about narcissists, about sociopaths and so on. I have written books like that myself. But we must not stay there. We must not just keep on talking about abuse, about abusers, about what has happened to us, and so on. Knowledge of these things is certainly important – but we must go further. We must immerse ourselves in the Word of God because it is only by God’s truth as applied to us by the Spirit of God that we are going to grow up into the new creations Christ intends us to be. This all begins of course with this: you must be born again. To try to seek after healing from trauma and from the evil acts foisted upon us by abusers – to seek after this and yet not be born again is a futile enterprise. I have seen it and it is a sad picture. Such people, devoid of Christ, only end up in an unending cycle of perpetual victimhood. Wrapped up in themselves and even, as can often be the case, becoming mean and abusive themselves.

So let me ask you. Are you born again? Do you really know Christ? If you have any doubts at all – and be ruthlessly honest with yourself – then go to Christ immediately. Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord WILL be saved.

And then let me ask you – if you are born again, where is your focus? Are you giving yourself to God’s Word so that by it you are growing in the Lord? We have soooo many opportunities around us in this regard. Just in our little ministry here we post two Bible studies each week online at Facebook, Youtube, and Sermon Audio – one on the Gospel of John and one on Revelation. Then we share links to our Sunday morning class and we post the Sunday sermon on these same sites as well. If you faithfully follow a couple of these series you will be enabling the Word of God to do its work in you.

Christ wants His people free. He wants us to be wise with His wisdom. He wants us to know Him more and more. And it is by His powerful Word that He effects these things.

The Wicked Demand Secrecy

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On July 4, 2022

In Abusers, Evil, Spiritual Abuse

Joh 3:19-20 And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. (20) For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.

In your contacts with evil, most of you have known how wickedness works overtime to conceal itself. That is what John is talking about in these verses. The wicked love darkness because it lends itself to hiding. To concealment. To secret-keeping. Truth, on the other hand, God’s truth – exposes what is lurking in the darkness.

Secrecy is a common tactic of this darkness. Secrecy blinds people to what is really going on in the dark. And evil people demand that everyone keep their secrets. That everyone maintain the disguise for them. Evil insists that its evil never be spoken of. Rather, lies are to be told that support the whitewashed exterior mask and keep the true person hidden.

You will always be punished by the wicked for speaking truth because truth reveals reality. When that revelation happens, the fangs come out. Jesus, the Light of the world, experienced that and He told us that we who belong to Him will experience it in this world as well. Evil people are murderous toward anyone who speaks the truth about them. From tyrant dictators right on down to the domestic abuser who wears a “christian” disguise, these evil ones insist that we keep their secrets. All of their power and control tactics are aimed at maintaining this secrecy. “Don’t you ever talk to anyone about what goes on in this family.”

And this is also one of the primary reasons the wicked hate the righteous. Cain killed Abel because Abel’s deeds were righteous. At the root of so much domestic abuse and violence that we see hiding in churches is this very thing. Murderous hatred toward the victim simply because her/his life exposes what is hidden. That is to say, Christian domestic violence victims are being persecuted by an emissary of the devil.

Joh 3:21 But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”

The Mind Replays the Negative if we let it

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On June 29, 2022

In Biblical Teaching, Counseling

Php 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones says in his book Spiritual Depression (a must read by the way) that it is vital that we learn to “talk to ourselves and stop listening to ourselves.” Because if we just let our minds “run” for some reason the thoughts it replays are negative for the most part. Think about this.

When you are just passively alone with your thoughts, what kinds of things jump into play? Largely they are traumatic memories, memories of when you did something stupid, memories of when you sinned, memories of someone hurting you, memories of cutting words, memories of betrayal, memories of loss. Right? And for the most part these replays leave us with things like shame, guilt, grief – the bad stuff.

Have you ever wondered why our minds don’t just default to GOOD memories? The day at the lake with our kids. The time you did something right. That time someone blessed you with particularly kind words. Unless you are very different from me, your auto-replays just don’t pull up those kinds of memories.

Think about how this works itself out in our dreams. If yours are like mine, they usually border on what might be classed as a nightmare. Or at least they are some scenario where you are trying and trying to do something but everything just keeps going wrong and you can’t do it. You forgot the combination to your locker at school. You are driving and driving trying to find the right way. Right?

Something is wrong with our minds in this present life. We are in need of Christ’s renewal and we need it really badly. And I suppose that is a big reason why the Apostle Paul wrote the words quoted above. He is really saying the same thing as Lloyd-Jones. Don’t listen to yourself. Talk to yourself. Speak the good things you have in Christ. Remind yourself of who you now are in Him. Think of your real life that is yours now in heaven above where Christ is.

If you know Christ, then God is your real Father. You are His child. Now, do we suppose that our heavenly Father is going to send these hurtful, shameful, accusatory messages into our minds? Of course not. They are coming from the world, the flesh, or the devil. But they are not coming from the Lord. So we must enter into some warfare here. We must take charge, pick up the Word which is the sword of the Spirit and put to death the lies being thrown at us on the battlefield of our minds. Think on these things – the pure things, the good things, the true things.

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