Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Eph 6:1-4)

Children sin. They make mistakes. And these facts are compounded when their parent is a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist). Why? For a number of reasons, but a chief one is that the RASN views his/her children like they view anyone else – as existing only for the praise and glorification and ego-feeding of the RASN. Therefore, these children are expected to never bring their RASN parent into a bad light. Of course such an expectation is a flight of fancy because not only are children, children, but their lives and behaviors are negatively compounded by the RASN parent.

But what I particularly wanted to point out here is the scenario when the RASN’s children sin or err and another person, having observed this, points it out to the RASN. “I think you should know that your child broke that ______ and then lied about it, claiming he/she didn’t do it.” A healthy parent who truly loves their child will thank the person for telling them and then discipline their child for lying. Not so the RASN parent.

If you have ever been in this kind of situation, what did you experience when you told this kind of parent about their child’s sin or error? I can tell you. The RASN immediately becomes defensive toward you, even angry. Why? Because they perceive you as making them look bad. (They will also take the thing out on their child later). And so, after being burned once or twice by a RASN parent, what do you do the next time you see their child lying? Nothing. Because you know that YOU will be perceived as the villain. YOU have threatened the RASN’s false image.

Of course the real loser in all of this is the child. They do not receive the discipline and admonition of the Lord from a godly parent, but just the opposite. Their sin will be reinforced as they learn from the RASN that sinning is fine, as long as you don’t get caught and make the RASN look bad. Because it is always, always, always about the RASN’s image.

Want to know if a person is really a friend and not a toxic person waiting to strike? Just criticize, with a good and right motive, that person’s children when they sin. Then see what happens.