Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

They Only Go Deeper Undercover

Job 20:12 “Though evil is sweet in his mouth, though he hides it under his tongue,

Something that can make the book of Job a bit difficult to interpret is that his “friends” often speak the truth – but they apply it wrongly. That is the case here with Zophar. Evil is indeed sweet to the RASN, but he hides. He covers and disguises his evil ploys. The RASN speaks in words that sound right, but in fact they are meant for evil.

You may have experienced a supposed “repentance” on the part of a RASN. (ie, Reviler, Abuser, Sociopath, or Narcissist) in which he/she says something like, “I’m done with that. I’m over the hurtful sin.” And you were happy. He’s changed. He repented. He’s done with that.

But he hasn’t. He isn’t.

All that is happening is that his cover becomes deeper. His disguises and masks more deceiving. Knowing that he has been at least in part, discovered, he sets out to be more careful. He mouths repentance and claims a great change. And there has been a change – for the worse. He still is what he was. He still is what he is. He simply has resolved to be more crafty.

And thus, he sets you up again for the next fall of the hammer.


Can One RASN Recognize Another RASN?


How RASN’s Take Control


  1. A short post, but a very powerful truth!!

  2. Kate

    “That was the Me of yesterday.”

    This was an oft repeated phrase/slogan from the many RASNs in my life. It was meant to shut me up, force me to forgive and (completely) forget all of the abuses of the past, and get me back to accepting their evil. (They don’t see them as abuses as I am nothing more than an appliance to them. But they know that without my normal [genuine] feelings, they lose access to easy prey.)

    When we take away their ability to go back undercover and to hide their true nature away from us, we are their absolute enemy.

    “Duping delight.” This is what Dr. Robert Hare refers to in his book as describing how they ENJOY deceiving others. It’s truly savory to them. Like a tender, succulent morsel. They hate when we figure out their game and no longer allow easy access to our hearts and minds. We are then considered useless or evil in their minds.

    Yes, they think WE are evil. (If you believe yourself to be god as they do….this makes perfect sense. They can do the most cruel things but WE are evil in their truly twisted, insane minds. After all, as god they should have the right to kill us and since they didn’t, they are being benevolent. Can you see how grotesque their thinking is?)

    God knows all their secrets and we, through His word, can learn many of their tells. They are nothing more than creatures of instinct, it’s rather obvious once you see their true self.

    • Thankyou Kate. Yes, “Oh, I’m changed. I’m done with that.”

      But they aren’t and as you say, when they realize we aren’t buying it anymore, they rage.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *